Aibu to wonder if Botox and fillers now normal?

[Av0bo55]

I’ve so so many friends that have these now and really do feel I’m the odd one out
Friends all between 30-45 and look amazing! I’ve got to admit I’m very tempted but a bit nervous and also Ttc one last time, so unsure if it’s safe to do if Ttc???
and should I wait! I’m 40 early next year so was thinking about maybe then!
So how many have tried /or already do it? What’s your thoughts? Good?

@WeaverofWords

I agree, and I hate it when people say “You can’t tell”. That’s a stupid argument. If someone can tell, they are hardly going to say to you, “Hey! Nice Botox!”, are they? And who are you to judge whether I can tell or not? Even if I can’t, it’s still presenting a fake self.

It’s a sad reflection of the world we live in. People putting all sorts of crap in, and on, and doing all kinds of weird shit to themselves, in the quest for “beauty”. It looks ugly.

Even the thought of it is hideous. Inject my body with what?! For what?! We should watch more what we put in our bodies.

Wtf, this planet?! It should be a privilege to grow old, not an embarrassment.

Presenting a fake self? Blimey.

Dying your hair, wearing makeup and acting professionally at work for instance are presenting a fake self as well. Nothing wrong with any of those.

I don't agree it's a fake self, it doesn't change the person you are does it? I'd much rather be friends with someone who had Botox than someone berating me for being 'fake'

Saying that I haven't had anything done (yet) well nothing invasive but I have had plenty of other skin treatments. I wonder if they're included in being a fake self!

@Againstmachine

I think there's a lot to be said for things that make you feel better, isn't there? You can do things, for you, that you notice, that make you feel better. I don't personally believe in making my self look better for anyone elses benefit! blush

Injecting toxins into your face unless for medical reasons isnt a good idea even if it makes you feel better.

Plenty of things aren't a good idea but we still do them.

I think it is very sad that women (mainly) are cutting and injecting themselves to fit ridiculous beauty standards. I'm skeptical when they say they are doing it for themselves because it isn't in a vacuum. Cross culturally and historically there are much better attitudes to ageing and older women.

I know a few people who’ve had it. It makes me a bit sad, but I can’t really pinpoint why. I’d personally be a bit afraid of how it’d make me look in a few decades’ time – I think both women and men who age naturally are far, far more attractive (and not in a sexual sense, but just more pleasing to look at!) than those who have obviously had work done. It all looks quite unnatural and a bit freakish in some cases!

None of my close friends have had anything 'done'. I don't know about acquaintances though! I do think it is becoming more popular.

It's not really my thing - I'm not bothered about aging or having fuller lips. I take care of myself but I'm happy with my looks and don't place too much importance on looking younger. We all get older eventually

@Huckleberries73

I really do love how women say - I can tell. You bloody can’t on ones that are done well. Yep - loads of bad ones about. But loads of amazing ones.

No one in my family or friendship group have noticed, I just look fresher and less tired.
I defy anyone to look at me and know it’s been done.

You have no idea whether people can tell unless they say so and I imagine that most would be too polite to say?

A friend had Botox in her early 30s. She has a really pale skin which wrinkled early and it did look great. I didn't notice until she told me.

I just assume all celebs in the public eye are having stuff done tbh. I do laugh when people says 'x looks amazing, great to see natural ageing' and x is a smoker in their 60s who looks exactly the same as they did in their 40s, like hell is that 'natural' Susan Sarandon

I don't think I would do it as I don't have that much disposable income, but Botox I would consider if I had the money. Not fillers though. I have a truly beautiful friend married to a plastic surgeon. I don't think he does her work as he's mostly doing amazing post surgical reconstruction, but he will obviously know good places to go. I just don't like that filled and lip flipped look, but she obviously does and it's very far from obvious or Kardashian like, she just looks like a gorgeous 28 year old when she's actually a gorgeous 38 year old.

You also have lots of women being influenced by the love island lot, who a lot seem to look interchangeable with the lips the fillers in same place ect.

I've just met up with a big crowd from uni, some I hadn't seen for well over a decade, all 41/42. Only one woman had had treatments and tbh she looked the worst out of everyone. Each to their own but it's not for me, and although I know lots of people who do it, generally in a lower income bracket, my close friends (generally higher earners) don't either

Each to their own but I think it always looks terrible. That shiny veiny forehead looks awful. I think it’s also a slippery slope. You only need to look at the distorted faces of Jennifer Anniston, Courtney Cox and even Sandra Bullock is starting to look a bit strange now. It’s so much more attractive to be authentic. It’s such a shame that women feel the pressure to do this to themselves.

So much judgement here! If you choose not to have it done then great. That's your choice. I agree that too much filler and/or Botox can look awful and really obvious but that's about choice too. Just in the same way that IN MY OPINION too much make-up looks awful.

I've been having Botox since my early 30's and what's done is entirely between me and my clinician. My partner has no idea and just thinks I've had a good sleep. Very few women want to go through life looking like their mothers :-)

I know only a few people personally who've had work done. One colleague (mid 50s) had Botox and, while she didn't go over the top with it and looked alright, you could obviously tell she'd had it done.
At someone's leaving do, she got quite drunk and "confessed" (with a level of dramatics more suitable to telling us about having killed someone) to me and several other female colleagues that she'd had Botox.

Possibly, if we'd been a bit more sober, we'd have said something like "No way! We thought the skin on your face just stretched out suddenly because your so awesome!" But I think someone said "Well, no shit" and it took quite a long time to explain that, yes, we were fairly certain she'd had work done but, due to a basic level of politeness, hadn't posted fliers about it.

She was quite upset and I felt bad for her but I'm not sure what she thought people were going to think. Presumably, you want a noticeable effect from Botox/fillers, but people who see you even semi regularly aren't going to be thinking "Ooh, a portion of Sarah's skin has aged backwards."

I think it reflects a really sad idea that aging is bad, looking younger = looking better. Make up, hair dye and acting professionally are a far cry from injecting stuff into your skin. I think it might be more understandable, though still not for me, if it was people in their 60s but when it's 20s and 30s, that's not aging. Thats just living. I hate the idea that beyond 25 everything is less good.

If you'd have asked me if I knew anyone who'd had Botox 6 months ago I'd have said no. It wasn't until I was at a 50th birthday dinner and I complimented a friend on how lovely her skin was that she casually said she had a bit of Botox every now and then and suddenly literally half of the group sitting round the table joined in and said they had it too - I genuinely had absolutely no idea. It turns out they all use the same (apparently really good) practitioner.

In contrast, I work with 2 people who have subsequently had lip fillers and other bits done and it's really obvious - there's no hiding the frozen face, or the trout pout lips.

My take on all of this is that it is likely you know more people than you think who have it but if it is done well (and sparingly) you are unlikely to be able to tell.

I am 50 and had Botox and fillers to replace volume this year and love it. It’s subtle and I look like a refreshed less tired version of myself. It has taken a few years off me, but looking younger wasn’t my main objective. I wanted to get rid of emerging marionette lines and restore my jawline a bit.
I don’t think you can really comment if you are in your 20s or 30s as it’s difficult to know how you will age and also how you will feel about ageing. If this is a fake version of me, I much prefer it to the real me

I know lots of people who do it but it's not for me. I don't think the normal aging process is something I need to hide or feel self-conscious about.

I honestly think I’m twenty years time people will be noticing the health drawbacks like they did with silicon implants

I had Botox once and loved it tho

@bigdecisionstomake

If you'd have asked me if I knew anyone who'd had Botox 6 months ago I'd have said no. It wasn't until I was at a 50th birthday dinner and I complimented a friend on how lovely her skin was that she casually said she had a bit of Botox every now and then and suddenly literally half of the group sitting round the table joined in and said they had it too - I genuinely had absolutely no idea. It turns out they all use the same (apparently really good) practitioner.

In contrast, I work with 2 people who have subsequently had lip fillers and other bits done and it's really obvious - there's no hiding the frozen face, or the trout pout lips.

My take on all of this is that it is likely you know more people than you think who have it but if it is done well (and sparingly) you are unlikely to be able to tell.

I have been asked if I have had Botox in the pandemic. Actually, I use medical grade tretinoin (I get it overseas). I don't have fantastic skin mind you; I just have better skin than I used to.

When men feel so insecure or fear aging that they feel the need to spend hundreds on cosmetic procedures, I’ll join them.

@PandoraP

I am 50 and had Botox and fillers to replace volume this year and love it. It’s subtle and I look like a refreshed less tired version of myself. It has taken a few years off me, but looking younger wasn’t my main objective. I wanted to get rid of emerging marionette lines and restore my jawline a bit. I don’t think you can really comment if you are in your 20s or 30s as it’s difficult to know how you will age and also how you will feel about ageing. If this is a fake version of me, I much prefer it to the real me

“Looking younger wasn’t the main objective”

Laughable. Of course it was. We aren’t stupid. Just own it.

It’s definitely becoming very common.

My 23 yr old niece has started having Botox. She’s very fair skinned and had a few lines and she’s thrilled with the results.

I have Botox about once a year. I love that is just freshens me up and stops my resting frowny face. I particularly like that it eliminates crows’ feet. Plus no headaches.

My friend has started having filler in her tear troughs. I can’t see that it makes a jot of difference.

Why are people being so nasty @Siameasy? Why do you care so much what other people do to their faces?

@Gingembre where did you get that done? I've heard it does great things for teeth grinding too, tempted to try it!

I'm another one in a middle class area and we all thought Botox was pretty acceptable now. Don't know many people with fillers though.

@DillDanding

It’s definitely becoming very common.

My 23 yr old niece has started having Botox. She’s very fair skinned and had a few lines and she’s thrilled with the results.

I have Botox about once a year. I love that is just freshens me up and stops my resting frowny face. I particularly like that it eliminates crows’ feet. Plus no headaches.

My friend has started having filler in her tear troughs. I can’t see that it makes a jot of difference.

I suppose this is judgy but I really am disturbed that 23 yr old women are having Botox.