Aibu to wonder if Botox and fillers now normal?

[Av0bo55]

I’ve so so many friends that have these now and really do feel I’m the odd one out
Friends all between 30-45 and look amazing! I’ve got to admit I’m very tempted but a bit nervous and also Ttc one last time, so unsure if it’s safe to do if Ttc???
and should I wait! I’m 40 early next year so was thinking about maybe then!
So how many have tried /or already do it? What’s your thoughts? Good?

What gives you the right to bitch about how other people look?

I haven’t bitched about how anyone looks.

@PinkSyCo

What gives you the right to bitch about how other people look?

I haven’t bitched about how anyone looks.

Um, well I’m pretty sure you said I was delusional to have an issue with people bitching about each other’s looks.

Women are the worst when it comes to criticising each other. Just leave people alone. If you think you look better than them, why do you need to put them down?

I really dislike the way women who have Botox/fillers must be insecure.
I am very confident in the way I look. I know I'm attractive and I like being attractive. My thin lips were the only thing I didn't like about myself so I fixed them. Now I'm completely happy with myself. I don't see how that is in any way "sad" or "worrying" for complete strangers on the internet.

I only know one person whos had botox/ fillers and tbh i find it difficult talking to her because her face really doesnt move properly.

I'm 58 and wouldnt go near the stuff myself.. i actually find it a bit sad that a lot of young women look like clones!

*@Againstmachine yes people who are happy to have tweakments. Not the general public and what has it go to do with children?

My point was, Botox may only work for so long - for those having Botox, so you either stop or may have to move on to something else such as a facelift. If you are happy to age naturally that doesn’t apply to you.*

And to do with children normalising such behaviour is harmful to children.

Normalising such procedures is harmful.

It isn't normal and we should never be saying it is.

I wondered when the argument about pressure on all women/unrealistic beauty standards caused by women who have procedures would be made. So which is it? Are women who have procedures turning themselves into older looking, deformed, ridiculous puppets, or are they setting a high bar that other women feel puts pressure on them? Because it can't be both. If it looks so awful, surely it's the best deterent to other women there could be?

But isn’t it the crux of the matter - whether there’s good work and bad work or whether you believe all women with even the slightest bit of Botox look like shiny headed freaks? Isn’t it possible that some people just have bad Botox and fillers? Too much or overdone.

But not everyone looks awful or has bad work.

No one gets a prize at the end of life for aging naturally. Do what makes you happy and stop worrying about what anyone else does.

The fact is that it’s already normalized. Horses have bolted on that one. If you don’t like it and believe it to be harmful to your daughters, then teach them your values and hope they stick. Of course when said daughters are adults they will make their own mind up, same as we all do. You can’t expect other people to make their decisions based on what you believe younger women should be taught. Well, I suppose you can, but you’ll end up severely disappointed when they ignore you.

I’m not normalising facelifts to children @Againstmachine I really don’t know what you’re on about.

I’ve said for people who go down the tweakment route they may consider it later on. Not that everyone should be getting facelifts. Stop twisting what I’m saying.

Well considering how good many women in the public eye look (with subtle work) I don’t find it a deterrent at all. I just want to know who their doctor is and what they’ve had done.
Katie Price and Made in Essex type work? Yes that’s a deterrent. But not all women who have had work look like that. There is such a thing as subtle work..

@Itsnotover

The reason women are nasty about others who have Botox and fillers is jealousy. If you really thought they looked terrible, you wouldn’t need to be so bitchy.

If you’re happy to age normally and not change anything, good for you. Just stop being a bitch about other peoples choices.

Ah "jealously", that old chestnut

I'm accused of twisting what you said but you said this.

But it’s unclear what age she is. I do think at some point you need to move away from Botox and do other tweaks or a facelift.

You didn't state may need to you stated people may need facelifts.

Um, well I’m pretty sure you said I was delusional to have an issue with people bitching about each other’s looks.

Women are the worst when it comes to criticising each other. Just leave people alone. If you think you look better than them, why do you need to put them down?

I said you were delusional (and very childish I might add) to conclude that women who were against Botox were all jealous. That’s ridiculous.

I’m not normalising facelifts to children @Againstmachine I really don’t know what you’re on about.

I don't know of you are being obtuse or idiotic I'm not accusing you of doing it to children. But children growing up thinking this is normal is harmful.

This is enough to give anyone pause for thought.

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/style_and_beauty/a3558583-Partial-face-paralysis-from-Botox?msgid=86298402#86298402

@Againstmachine yes ‘other tweaks OR a facelift’ and that’s for those already having Botox not for everyone. Other tweaks could be a bit of Profhilo. I did not say everyone needs to have a facelift or normalise it.

It ludicrous to think that these decisions do not have an impact on women as a whole and the unrealistic expectations of beauty. Pressure to do these things lest we should be seen as "old" or undesirable. After all women are just there to be attractive, no?

This is just a ridiculous point of view. Who says that because some one has botox or fillers or dyes their hair or has their nails done that they support the view that women are only there to be looked at?

It feels like you are saying that women come in 2 categories. Those that have these procedures, whose only worth is to be looked at. Then those that don't and their worth is so much more.

Is that really what you think, that women that take of their appearance are worth less? Where's the cut off? Are facials OK? Micro needling? Is it just anything more than botox and fillers, where you think women are only worth looking at and nothing more? You think the minute a woman has some botox, her personality disappears?'

They lose all their other qualities and contributions to society?

Caring about your appearance, to yourself and to others, doesn't mean you think only looks count. It certainly doesn't devalue you as a person.

Funny how it's only ever women that are told "you must consider the impact on all women, even when making a decision about your own body. You should have Autonomy, unless other women don't like it"

@Againstmachine why do children even need to know what procedures older women are having?

I’d be more worried about teenagers having lip fillers and posting it all over Instagram than a 50 year old having a facelift and probably not shouting about it. You’re focusing on the wrong things here!

I started having Botox in my late 30s as I looked miserably exasperated. Terrible creases over forehead, my skin tone is otherwise v good. Nearly 10 years on, my skin is really good and I'm glad I did it. I look less wrinkly than others my age despite years in the sun. & pleased as I hate wrinkles. Barely drink and don't smoke though.

I'd not have fillers.

I think each to their own

*Againstmachine why do children even need to know what procedures older women are having?

I’d be more worried about teenagers having lip fillers and posting it all over Instagram than a 50 year old having a facelift and probably not shouting about it. You’re focusing on the wrong things here!*

Yyou seem to be losing plot a bit here, that's exactly what we are on about if you don't see connection, it's harmful, full stop

Blossomtoes That's scary!

I disagree @Againstmachine

You can have work to the point of being disfigured and looking awful at a very young age (wrong).
Or you can have some subtle work as you get older and it looks good. Or don’t, it’s down to individual choice.

I can say duck lips look awful but some well paced Botox looks good. You are lumping all ‘work’ together.

@Turningpurple

It ludicrous to think that these decisions do not have an impact on women as a whole and the unrealistic expectations of beauty. Pressure to do these things lest we should be seen as "old" or undesirable. After all women are just there to be attractive, no?

This is just a ridiculous point of view. Who says that because some one has botox or fillers or dyes their hair or has their nails done that they support the view that women are only there to be looked at?

It feels like you are saying that women come in 2 categories. Those that have these procedures, whose only worth is to be looked at. Then those that don't and their worth is so much more.

Is that really what you think, that women that take of their appearance are worth less? Where's the cut off? Are facials OK? Micro needling? Is it just anything more than botox and fillers, where you think women are only worth looking at and nothing more? You think the minute a woman has some botox, her personality disappears?'

They lose all their other qualities and contributions to society?

Caring about your appearance, to yourself and to others, doesn't mean you think only looks count. It certainly doesn't devalue you as a person.

Funny how it's only ever women that are told "you must consider the impact on all women, even when making a decision about your own body. You should have Autonomy, unless other women don't like it"

Thank you for this post. I completely agree. The misogyny disguised as feminism on threads about this subject can be very offensive.

No good work is good on people who don't need it.

You seem to be on a crusade to normalise the abnormal.

@PinkSyCo

Um, well I’m pretty sure you said I was delusional to have an issue with people bitching about each other’s looks.

Women are the worst when it comes to criticising each other. Just leave people alone. If you think you look better than them, why do you need to put them down?

I said you were delusional (and very childish I might add) to conclude that women who were against Botox were all jealous. That’s ridiculous.

Well personally I think it’s childish to criticise people for doing what they want with their own faces and bodies.