Should I break up their engagement?

[Butterfly3105]

So my AIBU is simple I realised I'm in love with a guy i met in Uni, I used to casually see on/ off for around 10 years, and suddenly he's met someone and they're engaged, we were still flirting when this new relationship started (which is annoying) when he told me about the wedding his words were "You had so many chances"

So.. my question is should I tell him how I feel before it's too late and potentially ruin the engagement? Xx

You only want him now because he's not available.
That's a dreadful reason. If you really loved him, you'd have wanted to be with him before now.
You're being selfish.

Guess what people he's NOT married yet therefore I can tell him what I like, now is my only chance to, I can't exactly tell him when he's married! I knew him first and it was always timing and awful circumstances that got in the way! Thank you for all your comments (completely different to my friends, I think that's probably because it's coming from married women?) I will tell him and all let you know what happens

🤣I’m breathless with anticipation.

I knew him first

Well aren't you a charmer.

You only want him now someone else has got him.

I just wanna tell him how I feel and see what happens I don't see how's that's so bad

You don’t see how that’s so bad because you have the ethics of a 2 year old having a tantrum.

I think that's probably because it's coming from married women?

Er, no. It’s coming from grown ups, not 13 year olds behind the bike sheds.

@LaChanticleer

I just wanna tell him how I feel and see what happens I don't see how's that's so bad

You don’t see how that’s so bad because you have the ethics of a 2 year old having a tantrum.

This. You are an immature child who needs to learn the meaning of the word 'no'.

I’m not married, I’m early 20s and practically single. You don’t have to be married for decades to see when someone is being played 🤷🏼‍♀️

If you were my friend, I would genuinely say you can do better and to sack him off. If he wanted to propose to you, he would have.

@GreenFingersWouldBeHandy

I knew him first

Well aren't you a charmer.

You only want him now someone else has got him.

As I have so often said to pre-schoolers screaming blue murder when one of the others has got hold of the toy car no one wanted until it was already clasped in another child's hot little hand.

But you get that when they're three.

Hilarious response. Make sure to take some of our suggestions on board, Rachel!

[Scene: Two years later, OP types her next post]

AIBU? My one True Love got married two years ago after I told him I loved him. For the last 13 months, we've been together but can't tell anybody because he says his wife will stop him seeing their baby. He's still at the house sleeping on the sofa because he has to look after the baby while she meets her boyfriend. I want to message her and tell that she's got a man of her own and she should let us be together instead of controlling him. He's not even sure the baby's his but can't get a DNA test because she's always around and won't go back to work until the kid is at least six months old. He said that if I messaged her he'd kill himself because he couldn't handle being away from the baby but surely if she's already got somebody else, it's fine to call her out on her hypocrisy, isn't it?

@Butterfly3105

Guess what people he's NOT married yet therefore I can tell him what I like, now is my only chance to, I can't exactly tell him when he's married! I knew him first and it was always timing and awful circumstances that got in the way! Thank you for all your comments (completely different to my friends, I think that's probably because it's coming from married women?) I will tell him and all let you know what happens

Nothing to do with married, but just realistic.

He's moved on, he's with another woman, he's happy and you're his history!

She's now his everything.

Go and get another man.

It's nothing to do with dreadful timing, this would be dreadful timing.

@Butterfly3105

Guess what people he's NOT married yet therefore I can tell him what I like, now is my only chance to, I can't exactly tell him when he's married! I knew him first and it was always timing and awful circumstances that got in the way! Thank you for all your comments (completely different to my friends, I think that's probably because it's coming from married women?) I will tell him and all let you know what happens

Your friends are not your friends, real friends would tell you to grow up and get over yourself!

Why start an AIBU thread if you quite clearly had no intention of taking anyones comments on board?

@Butterfly3105

Guess what people he's NOT married yet therefore I can tell him what I like, now is my only chance to, I can't exactly tell him when he's married! I knew him first and it was always timing and awful circumstances that got in the way! Thank you for all your comments (completely different to my friends, I think that's probably because it's coming from married women?) I will tell him and all let you know what happens

Are we reading different threads? The responses here seem to be saying grow up and move on.

DP had a friend who declared her undying love for him after he proposed to me. She's no longer a friend she's just the crazy lady who loves drama and can't understand why she was told to fuck off

Tell him! He needs to have all the facts before he gets married. But you may not like his answer.

OP is not in love. She's just pissed off that her safe bet found someone else first.

(And he is a total dick for spouting shite about chances yet doing fuck all about it when he could)

Have you an self awareness at all?

You are coming across as so immature, bitchy, competitive, obsessive and totally lacking in realism,empathy, understand, ownership of your own behaviour.

I hope this man sees you for what you really are.

God no. Leave him be. He's told you, you missed your opportunity. You'd only be embarrassing yourself.

@SpringBeavers

OP is not in love. She's just pissed off that her safe bet found someone else first.

(And he is a total dick for spouting shite about chances yet doing fuck all about it when he could)

Yep, classic I don't want him but I don't want anyone else to want him! I'm sure he's bright enough to see through that.

Why did you even start this thread? You know exactly what you are going to do.

For the record, even before I was married I would have though this was shitty behaviour on your part, because it is. You saw him first but guess what, he didn’t want you as his wife first did he? The 10 years on and off is enough evidence that you aren’t likely to work or it would have been on, not off.

He sounds like he might be flattered and fall for a “romantic” confession of love but it’s it’s not exactly setting any relationship off for a good start if it’s founded in betrayal of someone else for selfish gains.

You are obviously going to do what you want to do but Ron coms aren’t reality and unless you can genuinely see a long term relationship with this man following your confession of love and you fully trust that his only reason for breaking off things with his current fiancé is based in genuine feelings and not just a rose tinted promise of a few nostalgic and guaranteed shags, I’d leave well alone as it seems like a recipe for heartbreak for everyone involved.

You should tell her that he was cheating on her. I think she deserves to know the man she is engaged to was unfaithful to her and was trying to play the two of you off each other.

She should know what she is marrying into.

Eh. That's not love. You're just unsettled because he's moved on with someone else which has triggered something narcissistic in you.