for not choosing a flat with a garden for children

[whatsay11]

AIBU to think children do not need a garden as they grow up? My husband and I really can’t agree on such a minor issue. Bearing in mind he knows so little about raising kids anyway. e.g. he was surprised when I told him how many nappies a newborn will get through! He believes that a child needs a garden. I am 3 months’ pregnant. Both of the flats are in our budget. Sadly v expensive as we have to live in London. We are currently renting a 1 bedroom flat on the second floor of a Victorian terrace with awful upstairs neighbours, I’m worried about our baby as they have loud parties and smoke weed etc. we need to move quickly.

Flat 1 £550k
Downstairs flat in a semi-detached Victorian house. Two small double bedrooms, one bathroom with a bath, living/dining/kitchen in one room and a small garden with no grass…only stones.

Flat 2 £600k
Upstairs flat in a semi-detached Victorian house. One normal flight upstairs from the main shared front door. Split level as there is a loft conversion. Three double bedrooms, two bathrooms, separate living/dining room and kitchen.

Both properties are about a 20 minute walk away from several parks and in good school catchment areas. Thoughts?

@SixteenTwelve

www.rightmove.co.uk/properties/82858263

www.rightmove.co.uk/properties/118918862

www.rightmove.co.uk/properties/118896713

Obviously I don’t know the areas very well but there are three properties in Wimbledon here for £600,000 with better gardens than you describe and one of them is even a house.

The house one is for auction. That is a guide price and will go for a lot more.

Also on the hot summer weeks I spend days at a time at my mums house so my son can use the garden, play with water etc its not feasible or always safe in the boiling heat (not that its often) to go to the park for fresh air (it gets hot and stuffy in a flat very easily).

No, a garden really isn’t needed, mowing a lawn, wedding etc, no thank you. I did rent a flat with a garden for a short time (the only time I’ve lived anywhere with a garden), the only time I went in it was to put something in the bin. If you like being outdoors (we do), you don’t really want to be trapped in a garden.

We just did lockdown in a flat with no garden with kids. It was a miserable experience. If you can afford a small bit of outside space, go for it

@Wedonttalkaboutboris In the UK you’re going to spend the vast majority of your year inside the house.

I’m from up north and, as dc, my siblings and I played in our really big garden pretty much everyday. It didn’t matter if it was cold and rainy (unless it was torrential rain).

I would keep the flexibility of renting for now and look to buy as you're getting ready to choose a school for your firstborn. You'll have a better idea of your long term needs then.

If you're looking at the Wimbledon area, have you tried Merton Abbey /Colliers Wood? They're only a stone's throw from Wimbledon itself but a lot cheaper (Or even Modern, though I prefer the other two).

If you are thinking of wimbledon, then seriously consider Morden. You can get a house with a garden for that money and only 10 minutes from Wimbledon. Good school and fantastic parks too.

Yabu. Children do indeed need a garden. You may be thinking “but there’s a park” but you aren’t going to go there whenever the children want everytime it’s sunny are you?

Truet me your life too will be much easier with children who are able to run in and out of garden!

Garden is absolutely essential imo. Having access to a secure outside space from your home is an important factor for me and has been beneficial for my kids who love being outside.

In the UK you’re going to spend the vast majority of your year inside the house.
Not true at all. And even less true as the climate changes – recent autumns have been hot, sun-tan lotion weather right through to late October.

OP, even if you’re not a garden person, and by some miracle you have 3 children who are all resistant to the garden, they all love parks. And 20 minutes is FAR at toddler speed. We’re 8 minutes from a brilliant park (adult speed; about 3 hours at 3yo speed) and it’s still awful on the homeward leg when, as pp says, you’re carrying the kid and the scooter and the bag and the special rocks and the important teddy and they want to take their coat off and and.

You’re round my way OP. How can you be 20 mins from a park?

DH works at St G’s - quickest way to work is motorbike. Would yours consider that? It decreases reliance on public transport.

If your parents are in NH that rather ties you to the district line.

If it has to be a flat then I would prioritise less stairs - ground floor garden flat if possible. Forget the nuisance of having a pram and stairs! If you really have to then private storage downstairs for prams and coats, bags etc.
If you want more children before moving again you need a 3 bedroom really. I would look at areas closer to Esher for your parents help and consider moving again around school age.

Honestly? 20 mins walk is way too far from a park if you have no garden.

With that budget your standard of living would be much better further out and commuting in.

Wimbledon is an expensive area. If your DH works at St Georges', moving to somewhere like Mitcham or Morden would be much cheaper and probably nearer.

We live in an upstairs flat without a garden, and it’s fine. There are loads of parks and playgrounds nearby, I don’t like gardening, and I’m happier living here than living in z5 with a big garden.

This is Mumsnet, you’ll get a lot of people who live in big suburban houses telling you they couldn’t manage without a huge garden/playroom/double garage, but it’s perfectly possible to raise happy kids in a flat.

This is a tough one, an outside area is great to have but the baby won’t be going outside by themselves for several years. And you won’t be sitting outside with them for at least half the year when it’s colder. The extra bedroom is much more practical, especially if you expect to be there for any second child you might choose to have. Many, many people live in cities without a dedicated outdoor space of their own. It’s completely normal.

@SixteenTwelve

www.rightmove.co.uk/properties/82858263

www.rightmove.co.uk/properties/118918862

www.rightmove.co.uk/properties/118896713

Obviously I don’t know the areas very well but there are three properties in Wimbledon here for £600,000 with better gardens than you describe and one of them is even a house.

Haydons Road and Plough Lane are main roads - the latter is particularly grim.

But the Cottenham Park one is a good find, leafy, near various open spaces incl Wimbledon Common and near Raynes Park train. It’s no use for getting to Notting Hill easily tho, you’d have to get over to Wimbledon tube.

My parents would have told to me to bugger off trying to live half an hour from them if it meant limiting what I could provide for my own children. Is it what your parents really want? In an actual emergency it's the emergency services who will attend your parents.

@RebeccaManderley

Wimbledon is an expensive area. If your DH works at St Georges', moving to somewhere like Mitcham or Morden would be much cheaper and probably nearer.

They have no easy access to Notting Hill though for childcare. They’re also quite grim. New Malden and Worcester Park are nicer and very good value, but they have the same problem of lack of access to the district line.

Lugging baby/ buggy/ shopping/ toddler/ recalcitrant 2/4 year old and a newborn up and down a flight of stairs every single time I want to go out would be the deal breaker - and in a Victorian house it is very unlikely there is a lift. By the time you have more than one you have to work out which one to leave downstairs as you lug the other upstairs. Then you have to abandon one at the top to go down and get the other. (Um is it that evident how glad I am that I don't live in an upstairs flat anymore??)

Would you be able to keep the buggy downstairs or would you need to lug it up every time? Also you can easily make any size garden/ yard another room with gazebo/ awning/ tiny shed etc. Trips to the park are easy with one but by the time you have a second having a small outdoor area for the toddler to play in while the second one naps at awkward hours of the day could be a godsend - definitely easier than lugging the bloody buggy up and down stairs (yes ok maybe I am very biased here )

Somehow I knew this would be Wimbledon.

You could get a 3 bed with a garden in Streatham, Norbury and even towards Tooting (if you’ll compromise on aesthetic). All still London, half hour ish to Notting hill and a bus ride to St George’s. You don’t have to live in Wimbledon. You just have to choose whether the nice area is more important than space for your family.

I can’t imagine liking any area enough to put up with raising children in a flat with no garden, if I could afford a house and garden just 3 miles down the road.

Thanks for the links! The other problem is that my husband is very keen on one very specific area of Wimbledon, it cannot be terraced and curb appeal is very important to him. It has limited us quite a bit to be fair. I’ve seen houses in the general area for our budget but most have been vetoed for one reason or another.

Honestly the replies here have been so eye opening (thank you). Things I really hadn’t thought of, life with 1-3 toddlers in particular. I think I’ll need to convince DH to look slightly further afield.

20 minutes to a park in London is pretty crap to be honest. I’d go for the garden.

And you won’t be sitting outside with them for at least half the year when it’s colder.

Eh? The uk is a mild country! We go outside for walks/to the park almost year round, it's got to be pretty piss poor weather for us to stay in.