for not choosing a flat with a garden for children

[whatsay11]

AIBU to think children do not need a garden as they grow up? My husband and I really can’t agree on such a minor issue. Bearing in mind he knows so little about raising kids anyway. e.g. he was surprised when I told him how many nappies a newborn will get through! He believes that a child needs a garden. I am 3 months’ pregnant. Both of the flats are in our budget. Sadly v expensive as we have to live in London. We are currently renting a 1 bedroom flat on the second floor of a Victorian terrace with awful upstairs neighbours, I’m worried about our baby as they have loud parties and smoke weed etc. we need to move quickly.

Flat 1 £550k
Downstairs flat in a semi-detached Victorian house. Two small double bedrooms, one bathroom with a bath, living/dining/kitchen in one room and a small garden with no grass…only stones.

Flat 2 £600k
Upstairs flat in a semi-detached Victorian house. One normal flight upstairs from the main shared front door. Split level as there is a loft conversion. Three double bedrooms, two bathrooms, separate living/dining room and kitchen.

Both properties are about a 20 minute walk away from several parks and in good school catchment areas. Thoughts?

OP I have 2 DS's, one is 2 and one nearly 6 and we have a baby on the way. We live in a split level flat without a garden (1st and 2nd floor) with 2 bedrooms.
We live in zone 4 London and we do have a car which we put the buggy and bike/scooter into so no lugging up and downstairs.
Honestly I've loved living here and the kids love it. I personally would love a garden but thats for ME, the boys are absolutely fine. After school in the summer we go to one of many parks with friends (also about a 20 minute walk so we often drive, no biggy) and at weekends we are OUT! But I love being out and about, thats why I love London as there is so much to do and we also see friends a lot. When we are in the boys have plenty of space to play, my 6 year old has never asked for a garden and is sad that we might move.

One great advantage I've noticed is that when you are in, you're in, so my toddler doesn't constantly want to go in and out traipsing mud in and making me take his shoes on and off. I'd personally choose more space than a tiny pebbled bit of garden especially if you want 2-3 kids.

Would it be possible to buy a house a little further out with your parents?

We've got a "yarden" rather than a garden and it's been a godsend. We've made it as nice as we can, put loads of pots out, grow veggies in the summer, few trays for sand and water for the kids to play with. We were out there today for an hour. We live less than 5 minutes walk from a park and that makes a huge difference - I think 20 minute walk with 1 child is ok because you shove them in the buggy and that's it, but it gets more difficult with more children, especially when you realise that scooter/balance bike which seemed like a good idea on the outbound leg is actually a really bad idea homebound.

Think long and hard about the resale value.

Flat 1 sounds best for now, as you won't be lugging a baby and stuff upstairs and it has an outside space so you could dry laundry and get some sun

Yes, a garden is definitely needed if you have the choice. YABU.

I'd vote garden but I would like to point something else out....If your partner is on shifts and you are planning children, being 30 mins away from your parents is not going to mean that you will be able to get there in an emergency....especially when you have more than one child. I do think this needs more thought about what you parents' actual needs are and how they might be met and (and I mean this nicely) how they can be met without giving you problems in your own life.....If you really really feel that you could respond reliably to an emergency at your parents and need to do so, have you looked at what is an hour away? 90 minutes away? If they need that kind of response then have they considered supported housing or an alarm monitoring system? I honestly think that this aspect of your decision making criteria is not realistic.

You might also want to google- there’s lots of great ideas online about things to do with gardens- might give some ideas about what an asset even a small garden can be.

Look a bit further out towards Worcester Park, New Malden, Merton Park.

Still easy to St George’s and near A3 for Esher.

I think either flat will work quite well for one child and okay for two while they're small. Unless you have physical limitations, a light buggy isn't so bad to lift up a flight of stairs, you soon get used to it. But you may want to space your children so that you only have one that can't get up under their own steam. (Alternatively, have them close together and suffer for a few years. It is only temporary).

I do think a garden can be useful, it doesn't need to be grassy (in fact, grass can be a bit of a pain). It's somewhere for messy play and safe exploration. When they're a little older a trampoline would give them a way to burn off plenty of energy even though it's not a big space. And a bit older than that and a garden room can be somewhere to hang out (or for you to escape to). However, it's not a necessity. You can do messy play in the house easily enough and if you walk everywhere they will burn off energy too. A 20 minute walk to the park isn't a disaster though it may well get wearisome when you're sleep deprived especially if you have a small one on foot with you.

Either way, in London, neither is terrible. Personally I would choose parking or proximity to a fast link into the centre over a garden or no stairs.

Your issue will be number of bedrooms as they get older. A two bedroom place for three kids is never going to be great and it won't work even for two when they're older if they aren't all the same sex. So if you're pretty sure you won't move for a decade I would be inclined towards the three bed.

I would suggest looking in SE London, zone 2/3 for a 3 bed garden flat or ex LA house

www.zoopla.co.uk/for-sale/details/60559827/

You’d get a house on Haydon’s Road

God no way to choosing to give up q garden. My two have spent literally hours upon hours in our garden. You just can't compare to having to take them to the park every single time. The amount of extra outdoor play they have had from us having a garden is just huge

My son plays football in our garden My daughter has done endless doll playing on blankets in the sun or bouncing on the trampoline. We do have a decent garden though.

I have to say both thr flats you suggest sound imperfect and I would look at cheaper areas

BTW. 20 minutes is a long way from a park when you have young children. !

Eg when they have a friend over and the flat feels crowded. Garden comes into its own for hosting playdates . Also you are often exhausted as a parent. Really really exhausted with babies and toddlers. Being able to just put toddler in garden to play is a world better than having yobget baby and toddler out to park every time they need fresh air or change of scene

I was knavkered today. Both boys straight on to trampoline for an hour whilst I got dinner and sat for a bit. A garden is a godsend with children.

Get a cheaper house outside of london and commute!

No, I don’t think garden is essential. It’s nonsense, IMO. Even pandemic didn’t change my mind. We are conveniently located near several wonderful parks, have got a communal garden (noone’s ever there) and have great transport connections to the city. I have no idea what I would do in the tiny garden I could have possibly afforded.

Have you considered Colliers Wood? The road is a bit gritty but it has a fantastic community, lovely parks and coffee shops (try coffee in the wood) and excellent schools- the one by the park (Sherington?)
www.rightmove.co.uk/properties/120169025#/?channel=RES_BUY

Downstairs flat with garden

www.rightmove.co.uk/properties/82858263

www.rightmove.co.uk/properties/118918862

www.rightmove.co.uk/properties/118896713

Obviously I don’t know the areas very well but there are three properties in Wimbledon here for £600,000 with better gardens than you describe and one of them is even a house.

It's not essential to have a garden, I live in a 2 bed coach house with my toddle and no garden and lots of green space around. However it would have made life a bit easier for me instead of forcing myself to look presentable to go outside rather than going in the garden in my own space etc. We get on fine but if I had the choice I'd have a garden and I'd definitely want one with more than one child just to keep them entertained more easily x

I’m going to go against the grain here and say that I don’t think a garden is essential. Although I appreciate for some people it might be- it’s a personal thing. We moved from a house with a huge garden to one with triple the indoor space but barely any garden and I would much rather have the space indoors. In the UK you’re going to spend the vast majority of your year inside the house. When the weather is nice we walk to the park 10 minutes away or we’re out doing activities most of the day. We also go round to friends houses for BBQs lots and my toddler plays in their paddling pools - I don’t feel like we miss out at all. It’s also one less thing to maintain.

Why do you have to live max 30 mins away from your parents and your dh’s job? You have over half a million £ to spend. That’s an eye watering amount. Get a nice big house with a garden and drive down to visit granny every fortnight. Your dh can commute. Plenty of people manage! Put the needs of your future dc first.

Three kids in a flat with no outside space? 😐

Why don’t you go a bit further out from Wimbledon (which is v expensive) - Raynes Park, New Malden, Sutton, Cheam. All near the areas you need to get to and near to St George’s hospital (if I am guessing the hospital correctly!), could 100% get a nice house with garden for that budget

www.rightmove.co.uk/properties/114436790#/?channel=RES_BUY