to want a dog despite working full time and living in a flat?

[goodforyounoonecares]

My boyfriend and I have been together for 12 years. We’re 30, have just bought a flat in London and we’ll have a very inexpensive wedding soon. I’ve always wanted a dog. He’s grown up with dogs and loves them too but obviously has more experience in having one as a pet.

I really feel that a dog will significantly improve my mental wellbeing. I am aware of the stress dog ownership can bring, esp in the puppy period and I know it’s a huge responsibility.

I work 3 days a week from 8am to 7pm and one in four Saturdays. My partner works normal days, nights, weekends and long days (8am to 10pm) in equal sharing. Obviously the dog will need to go to daycare.

My partner is strongly against us getting a dog because he thinks it’s not fair to have them in day care half the week as they may be neglected by the day care owners/other dogs and that a dog should be given 100% undivided attention by their owner. He also thinks is not fair to raise a dog in a flat.

We can easily afford a dog. He thinks I’m desperate for a dog as I’m very broody which is partially true although I’ve wanted a dog long before I’ve been thinking about having our own family. We can’t TTC until we’re mid 30s for a multitude of reasons.

I wouldn’t get a dog in those circumstances, unfair on the dog.

Hell no.

Do your wants overide the needs of a dog though? Your bloke is being sensible.

I think YABU, personally, yes.

There are too many dogs in the UK and too many are living in unsuitable homes.

You do not have to answer of course but why can you not TTC until mid-30s?

Not unreasonable to want one, but it’s absolutely not fair to the dog- so no, you shouldn’t get one.

Unless you afford to put it into daycare for 2 days a week whilst you are at work? This isn’t cheap- and if you aren’t TTC due to financials, then I doubt it

Try a share/walk my doggy site instead, its not fair to have a sog under those circumstances or volunteer at a dog charity

It would be very unfair to get a dog. You don't have enough time to give it.

I don't think that the dog or you would benefit from the set up you're suggesting.

I want a lot of things but I know it’s a bad idea so I don’t

Sorry but no

You honestly do not have time for a dog. It’s all very well saying they could be in day care but what happens if your doesn’t like other dogs?

I have two, but I’m at home all day. Even when I was working, I only worked dawn shifts, so someone was still home with them

It’s completely impractical and unfair on a dog with your working patterns. I’m sorry but it’s not feasible or fair.

Absolutely not

No, I don't think you should get one. Especially as you will potentially have a baby in 3-4 years. What about the dog then? Will the dog get any attention once the baby's here? I'm going with no. Dogs are loving social creatures who need love and attention and exercise, and their owner spending time with them. Dumping him in daycare is just pointless and unfair on him.

No. Very unfair on the dog, sorry. They cannot be left alone for long period of time.

I can understand that it’s not ideal, but is day care for 3 days a week that bad for a dog? What’s the point in day care then?

We can afford a dog and daycare. We are not able to TTC due to career restraints and we want to get married first. Boyfriend doesn’t feel “ready” either so there’s that.

You are clearly unreasonable (and v selfish). Please do not get a dog.

It's really bloody hard work having a dog in a flat, I looked after my dad's two when he went away when i was in a flat. It's not something 'I would choose to do. What's the point if they'll be in daycare half the time and presumably you'd then be with the dog for 25% of the other 50%. If you were in a house / somewhere with garden access it would be better but still not ideal.

How will you continue to afford daycare when you have a baby in a few years? It is a big expense. I wonder if you have thought this all the way through.

My dog would get massively stressed in day care.

And it’s incredibly selfish to get a dog “for your mental well being”. Owning a dog is like having a kid - their needs come first.

Dogs are great so it’s not unreasonable for you to want one but your circumstances are not suitable for one at the moment. It would be very unfair on the dog.

I think the reality will be unpleasant for both you, your partner and the dog. I have 2 DC and a dog - when I first got the dog I felt like I should have had another baby instead because it was easier. The idea of toilet training a puppy whilst in a flat is awful. The restrictions the dog will put on you is really life changing too.

YABU .

In the kindest possible way, please don’t do it. Is it fair to get a dog in those circumstances? An hour an evening and sleepovers essentially?

I say this as someone who would love a dog and has accepted that it’s not possible until we retire, due to incompatible hours on our part and also our lifestyle of being out a lot. It’s very sad, but our fiercely independent rescue cat is more than enough for us at the moment (and I feel guilty enough that I can’t be at home to watch him sleep 18hrs a day!).

Are you even allowed dogs in your flat, poor thing will be in daycare for at least 12hrs a day 3 days a week, if your bf if not keen then are you going to look after the dog, clean up, take it out.

Are you allowed a dog in your flat even?

Most dog care providers won’t take puppies. They are really very similar to babies in terms of commitment and need in the early weeks and months. You simply aren’t in a position to provide that care currently.

If you opted for an older rescue dog you will struggle to find a rescue centre that will accept you.

I would put out feelers at local vets, the Cinnamon Trust and similar for people who would appreciate help with their pet. There is certainly a need for that. In my experience Borrow My Doggie is a bit like online dating and best avoided if possible.