to want a dog despite working full time and living in a flat?

[goodforyounoonecares]

My boyfriend and I have been together for 12 years. We’re 30, have just bought a flat in London and we’ll have a very inexpensive wedding soon. I’ve always wanted a dog. He’s grown up with dogs and loves them too but obviously has more experience in having one as a pet.

I really feel that a dog will significantly improve my mental wellbeing. I am aware of the stress dog ownership can bring, esp in the puppy period and I know it’s a huge responsibility.

I work 3 days a week from 8am to 7pm and one in four Saturdays. My partner works normal days, nights, weekends and long days (8am to 10pm) in equal sharing. Obviously the dog will need to go to daycare.

My partner is strongly against us getting a dog because he thinks it’s not fair to have them in day care half the week as they may be neglected by the day care owners/other dogs and that a dog should be given 100% undivided attention by their owner. He also thinks is not fair to raise a dog in a flat.

We can easily afford a dog. He thinks I’m desperate for a dog as I’m very broody which is partially true although I’ve wanted a dog long before I’ve been thinking about having our own family. We can’t TTC until we’re mid 30s for a multitude of reasons.

I don't think you should get a dog either: could you volunteer for the Cinnamon Trust or join Borrow My Doggy instead?

But I'm not liking this boyfriend of yours who is so dismissive about 'feeling broody'. It's clearly a central drive for you, as it is for a lot of people. Is he stringing you along about having children?

It's not just as simple as putting them in daycare. Some dogs don't get on with daycare, many places won't take young pups, if your dog gets kennel cough what will you then do for 2/3 weeks? Are you prepared to neuter early against the best interests of the dog just so they can continue to attend daycare?

Sounds like you’re going to ignore this advice and get a dog.

I think YABU. Flat is not suited to a dog and how can you ensure you and your bf won’t be at work on the same weekend day and not have doggy day care available.

Please don't get a dog.

I'd think twice about the boyfriend, too.

Are you on a ground floor flat with a garden? If not I’ll 100% guarantee you now that you’ll regret getting one

Please don't do It, it's really not a good idea And the poor dog would suffer

Why do day care services offer 1-5 day a week packages then?

You can want one. But no, don't get one.

Daycare can be great for dogs (our dog absolutely loves going) but he was terrified of other dogs when we first got him and was very anxious whenever he was left alone (he’d get very distressed even if I just popped out for a couple of minutes).

It took a lot of time, work and training to get him to a point where he was confident going to daycare or being at home by himself.
We were working from home so we were able to give him this time (although we basically took it in turns to go out for about 6 months). It would have been really cruel to have left him at daycare before he was ready.

We don’t have a garden, the flat is 100% ours with no restrictions on pets.

Regarding the TTC issue, he’s not ready yet for a few reasons which is reasonable and not long term. He’s not stringing me along lmao, don’t worry about that. I’d love to have a baby soon but I have some things in my life I need to do first.

I would take 6 months unpaid leave for the puppy stage

Being a good dog owner is not about what the dog can do for you, but about what you can do for the dog.

Daycare exists because the owners of doggy daycare are cashing in on people who think that you can have a dog and then farm it out to suit their work and circumstances.

Please don't do it.

Day care Ofer 5 day packages because there are lots of selfish people who ft dogs for their own needs as you are proposing to ….

Definitely not, a dog is totally dependent on you so must be considered first and this would not be in their best interest. In fact, leaving it alone all day would be detrimental to it's happiness.
Although it's what you want, please don't get a dog unless you can pay for a daily sitter/walker.

If you ttc in 5 years or 10 years, you will still have a dog (most likely). Are you certain you will still choose to prioritise doggy daycare over childcare for your actual child? Because that is not what most people do. Are you sure you will be well off enough to afford both.

Are you really going to take 6 months off work? That seems totally bizarre. How would you afford this? Wouldn't it damage your career?

Get a cat.

Get Guinea pigs

If you get a puppy and put it straight into daycare for half the week then it is very likely you will end up with a stressed , anxious dog Battersea Dogs home would 100% refuse to place a dog in a home with your situation and they have many decades of experience with dogs… I do have sympathy with you though as I am in a Similar situation OP. I also live in a flat, would love to have a dog but work full time so for me it’s something for the future, not for now.

He also finds going to daycare exhausting. I don’t think he’d cope with going 3 days in a row.
They’re also really strict about illnesses, we’ve had to cancel a couple of weekends away because he’s been unwell and can’t go to daycare/kennels. It might be an issue if you need to work and the dog can’t go to daycare.

I know it’s frustrating. Having a dog is amazing, but we had to wait several years to be in a position to have a dog because it wouldn’t have been fair on him (and would have been very stressful for us) when we were both working full time out of the home.

I think the problem is that a dog won’t necessarily fit in with your plans. They could be dog reactive and unable to attend daycare. They could get separation anxiety and be unable to be left at all. They could bark non stop and drive your neighbours crazy. What do you intend to do about toilet training with no garden? They need to go out about every 20 minutes when tiny.

Id love a dog however my life is currently not suitable so no dog.

Why did you buy a flat when you want pets and children?

Dogs need outside space, regularly. As puppies they were up to every hour, through the day and night.

They also need space to burn energy and explore. Being inside your flat all day will be extremely dull for a dog and you risk destruction as well as poor dog wellbeing.

I agree with your partner. You're broody. That's no good reason to have a dog.

Personally, I would sell the flat and buy a house outside of London.

Nope dont do it. You think you can have a dog without any outdoor space? Wait until it gets diarrhea in the middle of the night, when it's raining. Do you really want to throw on your clothes and shoes and head out into the street at 2am?
And please don't be one of those people who gets a dog because you're broody and then, when you have a baby, the dog is sidelined.

It’s an absolute ball ache taking the dog out every time it needs to go to toilet, getting lead and harness on every hour or so while toilet training, having to do it late at night, early in morning. It’s so much easier and nicer to open the back door.
It’s also unfair for a dog to be cooped up for long periods, on top of regular walks they need a garden to explore and bomb round, chase things and roll around on the grass etc
I don’t have an issue with doggy day care but seems a bit pointless having a dog when you only have them part time and don’t have a garden for them.

Notice how your whole post is 'me me me' and how you will feel. You haven't even thought about the dog, you're too busy thinking about yourself and being completely selfish! YABU