To say something to nursery queue jumper....

[NoNow]

Hi all!

Queue forms outside nursery gate every day. Two woman are good friends, only one of them will go to where her friend is in the queue, bypassing everyone! I think this is very rude, and it happened again today. (The other friend does not do this, even when beckoned!)
Which means she knows it's not on really....

No one else appears to be that fussed, but it bothers me because I think it's rude!

Should I say something to her?

AIBU?

@Twobirdsinatree So clearly you haven't read the thread which is ok. But, it's a nursery pick up. The queue to the gate continues past the gate to the door of the nursery once the gate is opened, snd the kids are let out to the parents in the order that the parents arrive in.

Maybe that still means fuck all to you, and you don't care..:but I do 😅

Thanks for everyone's comments so far. I really regret not being a bit clearer in my OP regarding the queue not being a free for all once we are at the door to the nursery.

I think this is always going to irritate me, I will try my best not to say anything BUT it does feel like a bit of an injustice to me and it really winds me up!

I think if it's ever just me snd her in the queue first I may politely tell her though, I actually don't really care if she hates me forevermore, or our kids don't play together etc because her doing this for the last 6 months is making me dislike her anyway.... hmm.

I am moody, early pregnancy is probably magnifying this for me because I want to get in and out as quickly as possible before I do vomit on someone, so maybe I'll wait until the second trimester and reassess...just incase.

@OnceuponaRainbow18

My husband pushes in mainly because he has to go to work for a meeting 10 min after we can drop off at the earliest

As long as it's a busy important man I guess

@Kanaloa

Also a bit confused as to why super important meeting husband can’t wake up early and be rightfully at the beginning of the queue if his meeting is so ultra important.

Although I suppose he is being a super duper involved dad by helping out and dropping his child at nursery.

Yes, the super-dad needs a medal. I'm sure none of the mums dropping off are working so what does it matter if they're a few minutes late for their gym class or cleaning the kitchen?

This sounds annoying, OP, but I really would just try to chill about it. She's not pushing in to get to the front but because she wants to talk to her friend. And the nursery isn't going to run out of children to hand out.

Tell the nursery.

I had some pushy cow try to get in front of me at the grocery line once, with quite a bit of stuff. Said she was in a hurry.

i replied, aren't we all? Turned my back on her and never heard a peep. Some people really are disgusting.

That would annoy me as would the pushing in husband. What annoys me more though re the nursery queue are the parents who faff and are utterly oblivious to the queue of people building up behind them to drop off.

I would say something

The nursery queue is annoying. Its cold at the moment and sometimes im there for ages. Ypu buzz, they take a few minutes to get your mid ready. Bring them out. Each parent gets a debrief for 5 mins. I just want to get home at the end of the day and start bedtime
Routine with my tired and grumpy kid before i cook dinner

If somebody pushed in front, I'd be really miffed

faff and are utterly oblivious to the queue of people building up behind them to drop off.

That’s one reason we jump the queue, my kids happily walk in, takes 2 secs and I don’t feel the need to tell the poor workers, how they slept, what funny things they said at eve and what their mood is like, what’s inside their bag, and what are the plans for the day…!

My friend shouted at/criticised (not rude but upset) another school Mum about her parking/driving in reception year.
The other Mum didn't speak to her again through the whole of primary despite their daughters being in the same class throughout.
I think you shouldn't confront her.

This thread has me really irrationally annoyed - firstly because of rude pushing in mum

• secondly the number of posters who fail to understand that it's a nursery queue where children are brought out in the order the parents arrive and inevitably at this age there is a handover which takes at least a few minutes.

I have one DC at primary and one at nursery and the queuing etiquette is completely different.

@DuggeeHugPlease

This thread has me really irrationally annoyed - firstly because of rude pushing in mum

• secondly the number of posters who fail to understand that it's a nursery queue where children are brought out in the order the parents arrive and inevitably at this age there is a handover which takes at least a few minutes.

I have one DC at primary and one at nursery and the queuing etiquette is completely different.

Yes 🙌

@OnceuponaRainbow18

My husband pushes in mainly because he has to go to work for a meeting 10 min after we can drop off at the earliest

So your husband is more important than everyone else? How entitled!

You both need to get up earlier and be more organised.

As a one off it wouldn't bother me too much, but if she's doing it a lot it would really piss me off.

Don't say anything! We had this on the nursery class WhatsApp, one person being disgusted about perceived queue jumpers. It soured things for ages.

Same thing as yours, children let out in the order parents arrived. I couldn't get worked up about it.

We've since been told not to queue, but to huddle, as queuing was for COVID

Not sure why said husbands time is any more important than anyone elses, and as for seeing this woman for the next few years, who cares? Why would you want to be friends with such an entitled madam

@Thatsplentyjack it's been a couple of months now.

@nocheesegromit "perceived queue jumper" or actual queue jumper? 'Cos this one is actually doing it.
I'd never announce it on the WhatsApp chat though, prefer to tell her to her face if I was going to do it.

This would drive me bananas too, but given you might encounter her over and over throughout infants and junior school etc and pick-ups and drop-offs are fraught with politics and terrible people like @OnceuponaRainbow18’s family, I’d avoid saying anything and just quietly roll my eyes and/or passive aggressively have a baby, take it to pick-up in the sling, and repeatedly coo and baby-talk to it saying “That’s right, that woman IS spectacularly rude”. That, or move house and use a different nursery.

OP, you could have a word with the nursery and suggest the nursery changes how the pickup is arranged - ie, it’s done by the order the kids are ready/queuing, and not the parents. So the nursery just calls out, in their order, “Max’s mum”, “Ava’s mum.”

I just internally laugh at people like this who are either so entitled or so oblivious.

I bet queue jumper doesn't join friend if friend is further back in the queue!

And as for special pushy husband, maybe get the maid to wake him earlier?

Just reminded me of this episode of Curb Your Enthusiasm - the chat and cut.

You announce all this proudly, instead of being ashamed. This is the problem, people who are so rude and entitled that they genuinely don’t see that they are doing anything wrong. Terrible example to their children too, who will no doubt be brought up in the same selfish manner.

👏🏼 What a rude attitude to have. I'd be embarrassed declaring that proudly.

@OnceuponaRainbow18

My husband pushes in mainly because he has to go to work for a meeting 10 min after we can drop off at the earliest

Where does he think everyone else is going? Does he know everyone else’s schedule? How does he know he’s not pushing in front of someone in a similar position?