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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

To say something to nursery queue jumper....

240 replies

NoNow · 08/03/2022 21:02

Hi all!

Queue forms outside nursery gate every day. Two woman are good friends, only one of them will go to where her friend is in the queue, bypassing everyone! I think this is very rude, and it happened again today. (The other friend does not do this, even when beckoned!)
Which means she knows it's not on really....

No one else appears to be that fussed, but it bothers me because I think it's rude!

Should I say something to her?

AIBU?

OP posts:
Original poster
NoNow · 08/03/2022 22:48

@DuggeeHugPlease I appreciate you

OP posts:
shoopashoop · 08/03/2022 22:53

Is the school up north in a village beginning with O??

Original poster
NoNow · 08/03/2022 22:54

@shoopashoop behind with I

OP posts:
Mummy7777 · 08/03/2022 22:57

It really is so minor - pick your battles. This ain't one of them.

DuggeeHugPlease · 08/03/2022 22:57

[quote NoNow]@DuggeeHugPlease I appreciate you [/quote]
Awwww thanks!

I feel your pain as I really hate queue jumpers but find it hard to confront them. But if it's the same woman doing it frequently just do it. The people saying you don't want to piss her off as you may end up at the same school etc - that's even more reason to stand up to it now!

whysoserious123 · 08/03/2022 22:59

@BlackAmericanoNoSugar

Puke on her as she walks past to get to her friend. I guarantee it'll only take a couple of times before she thinks twice. Grin
Grin
PurpleSproutingSomething · 08/03/2022 23:00

I would go and stand next to the queue jumper and her friend, smiling nicely. Edging my way just in front of them.

Like a car queue, it's only polite you let the next person waiting in front of you Grin

Barrawarra · 08/03/2022 23:07

Wow I’d never jump a queue in a supermarket but in this situation I am this woman you hate, I do this regularly, join my friends and they join me. The queue usually seems quite fluid in our and starts at either end, I really don’t think anyone has a problem with this as the kids get let out in the order the teacher brings them out in, so it isn’t advantageous or not where you are in the queue. But now you will have me wondering if everyone hates me! So what is the alternative, we all stand silently and aren’t allowed to talk to our pals?

Original poster
NoNow · 08/03/2022 23:09

@Barrawarra Your situation sounds different to mine - and less annoying!

The kids get let out here in the order that the parents are in.

OP posts:
Original poster
NoNow · 08/03/2022 23:11

@PurpleSproutingSomething I might try this 😃

OP posts:
Londoncallingme · 08/03/2022 23:15

No you shouldn’t, it’s petty.

Woollystockings · 08/03/2022 23:19

You definitely should. Calling out rude, entitled, thoughtless and antisocial behaviour makes for a better society. It’s not petty. It matters.

NeverDropYourMooncup · 08/03/2022 23:19

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk guidelines.

surreygirl1987 · 08/03/2022 23:29

Yes that is rude and would wind me up. I'd mention it to management and ask for an email or something to be sent out clarifying the queuing system.

moodycore · 08/03/2022 23:31

Ahhhhhh this could possibly be about me!

I honestly did not know it was bad etiquette or a "que" per se.

I'm completely oblivious that it would annoy anyone as the way my nursery works is there isn't a "first" to get to the child or maybe there is oh I don't know!

if the nursery your child attends end rhymes with "hill". Do approach me tomorrow and we can laugh about my lack of social etiquette regarding this and squash it and I won't do it again Grin Blush

Nelliephant1 · 08/03/2022 23:36

Of course not. School and nursery gates are poisonous, just rise above it. It's really not a big deal

Original poster
NoNow · 08/03/2022 23:40

@moodycore It's not you :)
With this nursery there is an obvious line to collect the kids one by one. The kids are let out in the order their parents arrive in.

@Nelliephant1 I'm wondering why I should rise above it when it's irritating me and she is being rude?

OP posts:
Original poster
NoNow · 08/03/2022 23:42

@Woollystockings I've read the thread! It's definitely a totally different vibe to a lot of the responses I'm getting. Interesting.

OP posts:
Gilead · 08/03/2022 23:51

I did school runs for 27 years. Some people are nice, some aren’t. Some people are unaware. You have a couple of choices, get there before them, then it doesn’t matter where they are. Cause friction. Yes I know it gets on your nerves but they’re not at nursery for long, and is it really worth it. Or say nothing, but don’t seethe, she’s still getting to you. There may be a perfectly good reason of which you are unaware.

drawingpad · 08/03/2022 23:56

I probably wouldn't even notice never mind care. I naturally wait until last for things like that though. It was the same when I took the bus, I had no idea how to speak the odd invisible queue language so o just waited until last. Nursery drop offs are similar - we never lined up, it was more a gathering of people so again it would be that queuing without queuing thing. I just wait.

kateandme · 09/03/2022 00:10

When things lile this happen I try to think " how many annoying things do I do that people don't pull me up on,thank god" doesn't make them anymore right but it does calm me down a little to cope if I'm not actually brave enough to confront.

notthemum · 09/03/2022 00:46

Definitely rude. How can you be sure that other people don't have work meetings 10 mins later. Get there earlier or wait your turn .

Kanaloa · 09/03/2022 00:51

@OnceuponaRainbow18

My husband pushes in mainly because he has to go to work for a meeting 10 min after we can drop off at the earliest
Must be hard for your super busy husband to be the only person in the world with any possible commitments. How absolutely rude. If the childcare you’ve chosen doesn’t meet your needs then you look elsewhere, you don’t just push other people out of the way. Do you imagine none of the other parents every have anyplace to be?

Anyway as pps have said I’d just ignore it, but it would annoy me slightly, I just don’t think it’s worth the argument when you need to see the person daily! I would think she was rude and pushy though.

Kanaloa · 09/03/2022 00:53

Also a bit confused as to why super important meeting husband can’t wake up early and be rightfully at the beginning of the queue if his meeting is so ultra important.

Although I suppose he is being a super duper involved dad by helping out and dropping his child at nursery.

Twobirdsinatree · 09/03/2022 00:54

I think that may be perceived as incredibly petty and possibly unhinged...
Id never in a million years comment on that... mums do it all the time at our school gate... the queue isn't particularly structured tho... they do send the kids out one by one to each parent but sometimes they dont even do it in the order of the queue, they just send out whatever child is ready first to a parent they can see is there somewhere
I mean honestly what does it matter its a primary school pick up queue not a line for the last remaining concert tickets for the worlds most popular band!