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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To say something to nursery queue jumper....

240 replies

NoNow · 08/03/2022 21:02

Hi all!

Queue forms outside nursery gate every day. Two woman are good friends, only one of them will go to where her friend is in the queue, bypassing everyone! I think this is very rude, and it happened again today. (The other friend does not do this, even when beckoned!)
Which means she knows it's not on really....

No one else appears to be that fussed, but it bothers me because I think it's rude!

Should I say something to her?

AIBU?

OP posts:
DuggeeHugPlease · 08/03/2022 22:18

[quote NoNow]@DuggeeHugPlease the second one![/quote]
That's what I thought originally reading your post but some of the replies seem to be thinking otherwise.

I would have to say something if she's pushing in front and it's an actual queue to collect children rather than just get inside the gate and wait. I'm sure other people are also annoyed by the queue jumping.

WorraLiberty · 08/03/2022 22:24

@WorkCleanRepeat

I'm genuinely surprised so many people are bothered by this. I wouldn't bat an eyelid.
Yeah I wouldn't give a shit either if she's just talking to her mate.

Mr Manly Man with his big manly job and important attitude would piss me off though.

ScotInExile · 08/03/2022 22:25

@YesIReallyDoLikeRootBeer

I remember someone posting on here that a father was cutting the queue and everyone on MN was furious about it. I'm a little surprised that in this case its no problem for most people because its a mother.
It was a slightly different scenario though. The dad was just bypassing everyone and marching straight to the front to get his child first. In this case the mother is jumping the queue to chat with a friend while waiting in line. It's still a shitty thing to do but not nearly as entitled as the dad who just felt he was too important to have to wait in line at all.
Woollystockings · 08/03/2022 22:27

The other thread is here: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/4427372-Rude-school-Dad-AIBU-to-say-something

I don’t see any difference between the two scenarios. The mum here is just being more sneaky about it.

Normandy144 · 08/03/2022 22:27

I can't get worked up about this. There's little point to the queue anyway because as soon as the doors open the children go in and it's a free for all. I deliberately avoid queuing and stand somewhere else but people love a queue! If I see a friend then I'll go and chat to them. Break the queue mentality and liberate yourselves!

MissTrip82 · 08/03/2022 22:28

@OnceuponaRainbow18

My husband pushes in mainly because he has to go to work for a meeting 10 min after we can drop off at the earliest
😂😂😂😂😂😂

I’d be going from the queue to my job of resuscitating people. But your husband’s penis has a meeting to go to he should definitely push in front of me.

This would annoy me too OP everyone’s busy and has somewhere to get to.

RockingMyFiftiesNot · 08/03/2022 22:28

Does it really matter? It's not like only the first x number of people are allowed in. I'd say you need to chill a little being kindly honest.

Woollystockings · 08/03/2022 22:29

@RockingMyFiftiesNot

Does it really matter? It's not like only the first x number of people are allowed in. I'd say you need to chill a little being kindly honest.
Yes, it does matter. It’s rude and entitled. It’s a dreadful example to children too.
Rupertgrintismyguiltypleasure · 08/03/2022 22:31

Got a few of these that do it at our school, they think people don’t notice them because they are just chatting to another parent, despite walking past 30 people in a queue to do so. I don’t say anything usually as I’m usually the first in the queue , no one has pulled them up on it though.

YesIReallyDoLikeRootBeer · 08/03/2022 22:31

Even within this thread its a double standard. The dad who pushes in horrible man how dare he. Yet still saying its no big deal the mum does it, dont make enemies with her. It's wrong for anyone to be doing it, male OR female.

Original poster
NoNow · 08/03/2022 22:31

I'm going to have to post @DuggeeHugPlease response to me to try to explain to people that it's not a free for all once your through the gate, there is still a queue!

""That's what I thought originally reading your post but some of the replies seem to be thinking otherwise.

I would have to say something if she's pushing in front and it's an actual queue to collect children rather than just get inside the gate and wait. I'm sure other people are also annoyed by the queue jumping.""

OP posts:
Original poster
NoNow · 08/03/2022 22:33

@Normandy144 once the gate opens there is still a queue to collect the children one by one.

OP posts:
DuggeeHugPlease · 08/03/2022 22:33

@RockingMyFiftiesNot

Does it really matter? It's not like only the first x number of people are allowed in. I'd say you need to chill a little being kindly honest.
The OP has clarified it's a queue and children go in one by one so someone pushing in front does matter. It's not a free for all. Chatting to her friend or not she shouldn't just push in front.
PoshPyjamas · 08/03/2022 22:36

It’s a grey area cos shes meeting a friend. Twat fella from the other thread was just barging to the front.

Original poster
NoNow · 08/03/2022 22:38

So if I'm meeting a friend it's ok to jump to the front of the queue? Right.

OP posts:
Original poster
NoNow · 08/03/2022 22:38

@Woollystockings I'll check it out thanks.

OP posts:
DuggeeHugPlease · 08/03/2022 22:39

@PoshPyjamas

It’s a grey area cos shes meeting a friend. Twat fella from the other thread was just barging to the front.
Her friend should join her at the back of the queue if they want to chat.
RockingMyFiftiesNot · 08/03/2022 22:40

Yes, it does matter. It’s rude and entitled. It’s a dreadful example to children too.

I agree about it being poor manners, and I would explain to my child why I think it's rude. But no-one is being disadvantaged by the queue jumping (unlike a shopping queue or a queue for restricted entry to something ). You need to teach children about perspective too. I think OP is overreacting a little TBH. And I never queue jump so I'm not justifying my own actions.

LovePoppy · 08/03/2022 22:42

@BeforeGodAndAllTheFish

Very different answers on here when compared with a recent similar thread.

In that thread, it was a dad who walked up to the front of the queue and everyone was cheering the OP on to tell him off and when she did, she got a lot of applause on here.

Very different on this thread when it’s a man or a woman
whysoserious123 · 08/03/2022 22:43

@NoNow

It's the principle isn't it...you are all probably right that I should just let it wash over me. She does like to talk a lot, she is the only one you can hear talking all the time 😂

She is a fun person, good to talk to when I have previously.

I guess it's just the fact that I wouldn't do it...why can she?!

I am a fast so I do overtake them on the way back. But at the moment I'm pregnant and suffering from all day sickness and I think that's adding to my huge irritation at the situation.

If she likes talking a lot can't you make friends with her and then when she is ahead of you in the queue you can join her and go to the dark side ?
Woollystockings · 08/03/2022 22:44

If the mum wants to chat to her friend, fine. She needs to arrive at the same time as the friend. Or she can chat, and then when the gates open ready for pickup, she should then join the queue at the right place, which is now at the very back.

DuggeeHugPlease · 08/03/2022 22:45

@RockingMyFiftiesNot

Yes, it does matter. It’s rude and entitled. It’s a dreadful example to children too.

I agree about it being poor manners, and I would explain to my child why I think it's rude. But no-one is being disadvantaged by the queue jumping (unlike a shopping queue or a queue for restricted entry to something ). You need to teach children about perspective too. I think OP is overreacting a little TBH. And I never queue jump so I'm not justifying my own actions.

But the OP is being disadvantaged as they queue up and collect children one by one so by pushing in front, rude woman gets her child sooner and OP is still stood in the queue waiting for her turn.
Original poster
NoNow · 08/03/2022 22:46

@RockingMyFiftiesNot I think it's just unfair, and rude. It is a disadvantage because she's going ahead of me.
I think I'd be overacting if I shouted at her to get back to her spot at the back of the queue, which I haven't done (yet!)

OP posts:
Woollystockings · 08/03/2022 22:47

But no-one is being disadvantaged by the queue jumping

Of course they are disadvantaged! Every person behind the queue-jumper is disadvantaged.

RockingMyFiftiesNot · 08/03/2022 22:47

Fair enough.