To think nursery shouldn’t be organising a Mother’s Day lunch?

[Chocolateatweekends]

It’s during the day midweek which is when a lot of mums will be at work. Feeling a bit rubbish I won’t be able to be there. I know my 15 month old won’t know, but I still feel sad

I'm not sure what the point of a Mother's Day lunch at nursery is.
DCs can have one with their DM at the weekend, genuinely what's the point of bringing DMs into the nursery setting for one during the week ?

I don't see the point of it full stop. The added pressure is just a pain.

I expect it is more of a token gesture and the sort of thing that nurseries are told to do by those higher up, who don’t actually have to organise these types of events
Doing it at drop off might be better but drop off is different for everyone, it could be any time between 7.30 and 11
Same with pick up, plus staff do shifts so there wouldn’t be enough staff to have the correct ratio and run a parents event.
The 2.30 time is obviously the best time for the nursery re staffing and organising an event. That’s their starting position. They know the time won’t work for everyone, so they have scheduled it so it works for them. Attendance isn’t compulsory. They’ve ticked the box of parental involvement by offering it.

@rookiemere

I'm not sure what the point of a Mother's Day lunch at nursery is. DCs can have one with their DM at the weekend, genuinely what's the point of bringing DMs into the nursery setting for one during the week ?

On a personal level, I'd like it. It'd break up the working day a bit and I might just take them home afterwards and not bother with any more work, saves arriving at the slightly busier usual pick-up time! If it was at the weekend, I'd likely be making it, or at least doing the washing up or something to help afterwards (young toddler and baby so they can't do it themselves), so a nursery one would be nice.

My DS’s nursery did this when he was there. I took time out especially to go and only a couple of parents showed up. It was very sad. The nursery had clearly gone to a lot of trouble to do an afternoon tea and it was a lovely idea. It did highlight, though, that most parents weren’t able to make an early afternoon event.

Tricky I’m on the fence

It’s nice nursery does something but with 2w notice many might not make it

They should have included it in dates at begging of term

Middle day is madness

Beginning or collection would make more sense. Come 30m pick up fir a cuppa and cake

Equally I expect the same for Father’s Day so @Chocolateatweekends you need to let us know on this thread if they do something in June fir dads

Why they couldn’t just make cards and cakes to bring home so an activity involving kids but mums see or have at home

There are so many comments from posters who assume that ‘most’ of the parents can’t do a particular time just because they can’t. How on earth can they claim to know that?! I am a working parent but could most likely make that time work. I would prefer it to doing it at pick up time, actually, as DD would be really tired by then. I might then take her home early and have a nice afternoon with her. Or, it’s possible I wouldn’t be able to go, and that would also be fine. Such an odd perspective to imagine your own situation as universal.

I feel sorry for nursery managers - it seems they just can’t win!!

@fairylightsandwaxmelts

The point is they shouldn't do it at all *@00100001*. It puts unfair pressure on working parents who can't just take time off during the week.

If they want to celebrate Mothers Day, they could make cards to take home or do a drawing of some flowers instead, or make biscuits or fairy cakes.

No need to drag parents out of work.

but so does everything... parents evening, school plays, sports days, presentation evenings, promise evenings, kids parties etc

and your idea of "make cards to take home or do a drawing of some flowers instead, or make biscuits or fairy cakes." and what about those who don't have a parent, couldn't get in that day etc...

Not everyone can attend everything, not every child can be included in every event, it doesn't mean these things shouldn't happen... :/

If you work this is the first of many many events that you will miss. It’s the reality of being a parent unfortunately. Most of the children won’t have a clue what’s going on anyway so I wouldn’t worry about it.

@2Hot2Handle

My DS’s nursery did this when he was there. I took time out especially to go and only a couple of parents showed up. It was very sad. The nursery had clearly gone to a lot of trouble to do an afternoon tea and it was a lovely idea. It did highlight, though, that most parents weren’t able to make an early afternoon event.

did they not get parents to RSVP before hand so they had a rough idea of numbers??

This thread makes me sad. So many women, presumably mostly mothers, jumping on another mother because she said she’s sad she can’t go to an event and questioning the nursery thinking it’s a good idea to do it at lunchtime.

OP I think it’s a strange idea of nursery. Beginning or end of day would surely make more sense. Still wouldn’t work for everybody but easier for most of those working to start late or finish early than to take time out in the middle of the day. Also less confusing for the children.

I worked in a nursery for years and the only events we invited parents to were Christmas and summer concerts which were timetabled in September so parents could arrange AL . We were fully aware that the majority of children were there because their parents were at work and not able to drop in for such events.

As many pp have said school events are different, school is not childcare, but I would still expect schools to give a good amount of notice for events, and think about the likelihood of parents being able to attend.

This thread makes me sad. So many women, presumably mostly mothers, jumping on another mother because she said she’s sad she can’t go to an event and questioning the nursery thinking it’s a good idea to do it at lunchtime.

No - it's because she thinks she can't attend so the event should be cancelled. That's pretty entitled.

No - it's because she thinks she can't attend so the event should be cancelled

From the point of view of the children, a mother's Day lunch without your mum being there is just lunch.

A sports day or assembly is different...the child can participate without a parent watching them.

The whole point of this lunch is your mum is there. It's a crappy idea

To be clear here, I am not suggesting a Mother’s Day lunch or tea should be done at drop off or pick up.

I am suggesting that these are good times to go inside the nursery.

As for the bemused ‘well when should they do it’ - Mother’s Day is on Sunday. They don’t have to do it at all.

I certainly don’t wish to prevent anyone from doing something because I cannot but there are times when doing things will cause quite a lot of pain to those who can’t - I didn’t have my mum growing up - and for those who can be potentially difficult. DH works from home and could possibly do a Father’s Day equivalent but it wouldn’t be as simple as going in for lunch then out again, DS would want to go with him I think.

Im really not wanting to be a killjoy. I just think it’s hard for children who’s mum can’t be there or for those who don’t have a mum.

@girlmom21

This thread makes me sad. So many women, presumably mostly mothers, jumping on another mother because she said she’s sad she can’t go to an event and questioning the nursery thinking it’s a good idea to do it at lunchtime.

No - it's because she thinks she can't attend so the event should be cancelled. That's pretty entitled.

Where does she say that?

It's true that as a working parent you have to suck this sort of thing up and it gets far worse at school. We had a "curriculum meeting" organised for one Tuesday which we were told about the previous Friday FFS.

And that the nursery is just trying to do a nice thing.

But I do agree that its daft having it right in the middle of the working day. It's far easier for people to come in an hour late/leave an hour early than do it at lunch when it writes off most of the working day.

I agree op.

I'm assuming a private nursery so Mom is working otherwise she'd be home with the child. If she can get the day off to go to lunch hat nursery she doesn't need to send the child in that day. Why would I pay for my child to go to nursery then book time off work to go and hang out at nursery?

As for school, it's different because you aren't specifically paying for them to go there so you can work. Kids will be in school regardless

Its an odd thing to be doing. I've worked in nurseries for years ( don't do it anymore) and it's not something that would normally be done. The children are usually in nursery for childcare while parents are at work. Most parents would keep children off if they had the day off work. And children do different days and hours so not everyone would be able to attend.

@SickAndTiredAgain

It’s during the day midweek

When else could they have it? They open during working hours because that’s when people need them.

They could have it first thing in the morning maybe, when working mothers can actually be there? Or not do it at all, just get the kids making Mothers' Day cards?

but so does everything... parents evening, school plays, sports days, presentation evenings, promise evenings, kids parties etc

Not comparable. By definition, children tend to be in nurseries because their mothers work. That doesn't apply necessarily to children in schools. Also, of course, nurseries tend to be paid for whereas schools generally aren't; and evening events tend to be more doable.

Is the nursery trying to do a nice thing though? Or are they doing a box ticking exercise to demonstrate parental involvement, at the expense of working mothers and children's feelings if they are old enough to know their mum isn't there?

Honestly, I would dispute that many people want or enjoy these events. Call me a grinch but I think people would prefer much less of this stuff and to be able to use their annual leave for actual holidays or to cover childcare in the summer!

Really shitty thing to do, not everyone at nursery has a living mum.

My widower friends would be devastated by this.

I don’t doubt the intentions are good - just feel a bit sad for DS.

@EthelTheAardvark

but so does everything... parents evening, school plays, sports days, presentation evenings, promise evenings, kids parties etc

Not comparable. By definition, children tend to be in nurseries because their mothers work. That doesn't apply necessarily to children in schools. Also, of course, nurseries tend to be paid for whereas schools generally aren't; and evening events tend to be more doable.

Kids might be at an activity group in an evening because mum works... It's certainly not implausible that a child is collected from school by childminder and dropped at Cubs at 6pm and collected by Mum at 7:30 after she finishes at 7pm.