To think nursery shouldn’t be organising a Mother’s Day lunch?

[Chocolateatweekends]

It’s during the day midweek which is when a lot of mums will be at work. Feeling a bit rubbish I won’t be able to be there. I know my 15 month old won’t know, but I still feel sad

Happy mother's day! Now juggle your working life around trying to make it a special day....for everyone else obviously. Nothing says motherhood quite like that hey?!

@unfortunateevents it’s not so much the event I am objecting to as the timing.

I am aware there are some exceptions but mostly, very young children are in nursery so parents can work. If not for work, to give the parent some downtime. It completely goes against this to hold such an event.

@DixonD how many times am I going to have to repeat the same points over and over again?

My mum died when I was three. I have experienced every shit form of mothers day school activity you can imagine.

I really thought nurseries and schools would be more tuned in to childhood bereavement these days.

Generally all the stuff was adapted to 'as you haven't got a mum you can make a card/cake/craft for any other random woman instead' and thats supposed to be caring and tactful. When you want to be like everyone else and just have a normal mum thats actually alive. Making a card for a grandparent or the lady next door or the teacher, is not the fucking same. 'List all the ways your mum helps you'.... erm... the lady next door keeps a spare key for me and takes in parcels....

This is very very crap of the nursery. Everyone who is lucky enough to have a mum can celebrate on Sunday. No need to make it worse for those who haven't. There is plenty of other things that are 'safer' and don't hinge on one pivotal person. E.g. Spring.

I really thought nurseries and schools would be more tuned in to childhood bereavement these days

I know right! Not only that, but there's all sorts of different family set ups nowadays. I just think it's best avoided

I am genuinely sorry you're missing it. Have you no leave owed?

Happy mother's day! Now juggle your working life around trying to make it a special day....for everyone else obviously. Nothing says motherhood quite like that hey?

Amen!

You are being massively unreasonable. My DD is 4 years old. She has been in childcare since 15 months, first at a private nursery then school. It has been 2 years since I have stepped foot in a nursery or school. It's most likely the same for all other parents. Why shouldn't the nursery arrange something for the parents? I'd do anything to be able to attend something like this, we've missed out on so much. DD private nursery used to arrange this, I only got to go to one as the following year it was cancelled. Admitably it was later in the day at 4pm however unless your school is very close to the nursery you still couldn't get there. It's irrelevant that it's for Mother's Day, if it was a sports day for example you still wouldn't be able to go. Our nursery used to keep the children whose parents couldn't attend in a separate room so they didn't get upset. Even if they didn't your child is 15 months old, they won't know anyway. It will be more challenging explaining to a 4 year old why you can't attend I assure you! Should schools cancel sports day and assemblies etc so those parents who can't go don't feel shit?

[quote WaterBottle123]@SleepingStandingUp

Well you win none of the wars you don't fight. If we collectively stopped buying into Hallmark holidays and challenged schools to do the same we'd win,

Shrugging your shoulders just because it's challenging won't achieve change, no. [/quote]
Well I think some battles are achievable - getting school to ban it for example. But it isn't just MD and FD cards. Its Valentines Day as people have lost partners
Any Xmas or birthday card stating any close familial relationship. And not just cards but pubs etc not advertising special promotions.

I'm not shrugging indifferently, your child could be any of our children tomorrow, no ones immune to their child growing up without a parent or both. I just don't think you can tell people they can't celebrate things because it upsets some people and where it's celebrated there will be market forces behind it.

You've changed your corner and maybe that will give other parents in your position the strength to change their for their kids too

All the people saying "I really thought nurseries and schools would be more tuned in to childhood bereavement these days" I realise it's sad if some kids don't have a parent or have 2 mums/dads or whatever but the vast majority will have a mum and a dad, even if they arent together. There's nothing nicer than receiving a hand made card as a mum. I hear that some kids might be sad but that doesn't mean other kids can't make their parents a card, I think it'd be harsh to deny the majority for 1 child, they can always make a fathers day card instead.

@NoSleepNoSleep

All the people saying "I really thought nurseries and schools would be more tuned in to childhood bereavement these days" I realise it's sad if some kids don't have a parent or have 2 mums/dads or whatever but the vast majority will have a mum and a dad, even if they arent together. There's nothing nicer than receiving a hand made card as a mum. I hear that some kids might be sad but that doesn't mean other kids can't make their parents a card, I think it'd be harsh to deny the majority for 1 child, they can always make a fathers day card instead.

The pleasure DS gets from making me a MD card specifically at SCHOOL vs the pain to one of his peers who's Mom has died isn't comparable. I love my hand made cards but I'm fully in support of not doing them if it's going to cause one child pain

And if the argument is going to be that some kids are too poor to afford a piece of paper and some crayons, then that's something school can tackle creatively. Not say well NO sleeps Mom has to have a card so I don't care if Moira is sitting in the corner in tears

@NoSleepNoSleep

Literally one of the most heartless things I have read on here in a while. Sod the bereaved kids so everyone else can get a card.

Newsflash. Kids can make cards at home.

I do fully agree with that @SleepingStandingUp

@NoSleepNoSleep

All the people saying "I really thought nurseries and schools would be more tuned in to childhood bereavement these days" I realise it's sad if some kids don't have a parent or have 2 mums/dads or whatever but the vast majority will have a mum and a dad, even if they arent together. There's nothing nicer than receiving a hand made card as a mum. I hear that some kids might be sad but that doesn't mean other kids can't make their parents a card, I think it'd be harsh to deny the majority for 1 child, they can always make a fathers day card instead.

This is children. Some children do not have a mother or father alive. Some never ever see their mother or father. Kids can do this kind of thing at home. It is pretty insensitive to children who do not have or see their mother and/or father. Why do that to children for the sake of making a card?

None of this is something special for the children though is it. It's so the nursery can tick a box for ofsted. The knock on effect of which is costing parents in terms of AL, money (since they are paying for nursery without getting the benefit of childcare) and guilt if they cannot rearrange their lives to accommodate this!

@ImAvingOops

Trust me, ofsted won’t be looking at whether mums get invited in for breakfast on Mother’s Day 😅

No, but they do expect the nursery to show evidence of parental involvement.

Nursery has invited us to an event but it's worded so that anyone who is special can go to be with the child - mum, dad, grandparent, auntie, friend... I may or may not be able to go as I am working (obviously - whole point of them being in nursery) but I'm not going to lose sleep over it.

That does sound pretty stupid. School is one thing, but practically everyone who uses my children's nursery uses it so they can work. We pay £80 per day per child so that I can keep my career, so I'd find it really odd if we were invited to an event at the nursery in the middle of the day. Start or end of the day would still be a bit weird but better. We have never actually been into our boys' nursery as we moved house during covid and they've not opened their doors to parents since. I'll be okay with school events, some of which I know I'll need to miss for work, but when I'm shelling out £140 per day for nursery so I can go to work, I'd find it a really odd decision to do an event like this!

That said, my nursery is a 7:30am-6pm nursery and is definitely for working parents. Some others have shorter opening hours and parents use them who don't work. It would make more sense in those contexts I guess.

Perhaps mention to them the fact most women are sending their young DC to nursery because they’re at work, not SAHM’s wanting a break from their child so they should perhaps change it to a pre nursery Mother’s Day breakfast?

@NoSleepNoSleep

All the people saying "I really thought nurseries and schools would be more tuned in to childhood bereavement these days" I realise it's sad if some kids don't have a parent or have 2 mums/dads or whatever but the vast majority will have a mum and a dad, even if they arent together. There's nothing nicer than receiving a hand made card as a mum. I hear that some kids might be sad but that doesn't mean other kids can't make their parents a card, I think it'd be harsh to deny the majority for 1 child, they can always make a fathers day card instead.

Are you for real?! Or just very self centred?

I am a mum, my kids have made me cards, yes it's sweet but it's really really not something that there is 'nothing nicer than'.