To think nursery shouldn’t be organising a Mother’s Day lunch?

[Chocolateatweekends]

It’s during the day midweek which is when a lot of mums will be at work. Feeling a bit rubbish I won’t be able to be there. I know my 15 month old won’t know, but I still feel sad

I could take time off in the day to go, but it would then upset him to not come home with me, so I'd actually have to have the whole afternoon off. Personally, I think this stuff only works at pick-up time, but then I have an emotional one and maybe some kids aren't fussed.

i temped and was so grateful that i could attend so many of my dc events

But some mothers will be able to make it. It seems a bit petty - just because you can't make it then no-one should be able to? There will be lots of events that you will or wont be able to make over the years, your child will only think it's a big deal if you make it into one. Poor nursery, they try to do something nice but no good deed goes unpunished and all that..

The ones who can make it might appreciate the chance to meet other mums who are free around lunchtimes

I get why you might be sad not being able to attend but other mums will be able to go. Why should they miss out because you can’t attend?

I agree - DS' nursery had a few things like that, and whilst we always managed to get one of us or a grandparent to go, it was really hard.

It’s completely inappropriate. They should make a card / little bouquet or something and clearly not try and get a working mum to come back from work to spend time at the place she’s paying good money for. Not the same as school doing it at all. A 15 month old will not expect you there

It's a daft idea. Can't see the point of it tbh.

@TabithaHazel

But some mothers will be able to make it. It seems a bit petty - just because you can't make it then no-one should be able to? There will be lots of events that you will or wont be able to make over the years, your child will only think it's a big deal if you make it into one. Poor nursery, they try to do something nice but no good deed goes unpunished and all that..

It doesn’t sound like it’s an early years setting if OP’s child is 15 months? It sounds like a paid nursery where you take your child when you are at work?

@NativityDreaming

I get why you might be sad not being able to attend but other mums will be able to go. Why should they miss out because you can’t attend?

How will they be able to go? Won’t they be at work?

Actually maybe the question to ask is how will the nursery ensure that DCs whose DM can't come or perhaps those with no DM, don't feel left out when they see the other DMs coming in.

You can explain you are a teacher. People seem to grasp that female teachers can't leave school for these things, in a way that they don't for those of us with womany officey jobs which clearly we're doingbfor pin money and can nip out at will.

If they keep the DCs separate and have fun activities for the others during this time, then it will be ok.

It's 100% the kind of thing I'd book annual leave for. It's a shame if you can't but there are plenty of things you'll be able to do in school holidays etc as your LO grows that other working parents will miss.

Hospital staff will miss Christmas Day with their young children sometimes. Would you really begrudge them a Mother's Day lunch?

If you are a teacher, especially primary, you are doing the same thing. You know that loads won't be able to make an event but it's the only time that will fit in with everything else. It can't be helped, whatever you do there will be others complaining. I would imagine they have thought the timing would be best for those WFH who could break for lunch. Maybe that's their biggest demographic who knows. Whatever, they are not doing it to upset you on purpose.

@Chocolateatweekends

when else could a nursery be open to working parents during the week

At pick up and drop off.

Oh - are they still keeping it restricted at those times? That I would think is worth raising with them.

Maybe you send a photo of yourself with a note on the back saying that you'll see her at home time for hugs and kisses.

I am a little surprised that Nursery are doing this as it adds either stress or guilt to your working life, needing to take a long lunch/or a morning/afternoon off to be there. Plus if some mums can and some can't it potentially unsettles the kids whose mums can't.

Not thought through imho. They'd be best sticking to creating Mothers/Carers Day gifts/cards for the kids to take home. This is doubly useful as it saves Dad having to get a card/gift. My kids went to nursery and I have a treasured collection of stuff they made especially those which involved a photo of my child or their hand/foot/finger prints.

our nursery are doing this. but after some probing from some of the mums (the more vocal ones on the pre-school room whatsapp group), they are moving it to a breakfast. i've told work i'll be in just after 9 on the day.

Actually maybe the question to ask is how will the nursery ensure that DCs whose DM can't come or perhaps those with no DM, don't feel left out when they see the other DMs coming in

This is a good idea. I'd definitely ask

@arethereanyleftatall

I'm so bored of the attitude...

'I can't make X event because of my particular situation Y so therefore no one should be able to go to said event.'

That could apply to literally everything ever.

The only way around this is to have zero events, so that we can all race to the bottom in our quest to ensure everyone is equally miserable.

Yabu.

For example your breakfast solution - there will be someone who can't make that because they have school drop off or something. So, they would start a thread saying 'cancel the event because I can't make it and it's not fair.' My point being there will always always be someone who can't make something.

This ^^

I hear you OP. We don't have grandparents and I'm a teacher - I don't have annual leave. It's not as easy for lots of people and I think it's a pretty daft idea. But don't feel bad - there will be lots of people in the same boat x

If you could get the time/day off would you still think it shouldn't go ahead or would you think it's a nice event and want to go? Try take some leave/flex and if you can't (my job never allowed flexi time) don't worry too much, you can make any day mother's day even if you can't do the actual day, just mark it in a way you and dc enjoy

You are seriously over thinking this ... if it means so much to you just take annual leave. I attended many of these events over the years and they are pretty dull and tedious ... and my DC didn't care one way or the other whether I attended or not. It won't have any long term effect on your DC's development so why feel guilty/sad about it?

@Chocolateatweekends

when else could a nursery be open to working parents during the week

At pick up and drop off.

Bit I can't stay at drop off, I have work. I also can't stay at pickup because I have to collect other kids.

Great solution thanks 👍

Poor schools and nurseries can never seem to do right. Always someone moans...

Things you miss out working: Playgroup events, nursery events, assemblies, plays, spending all day with your child.
Things you gain: money to pay for rent/food, your sanity, a career.
For me part time was best, we were skint but I was able to be flexible to go to these things, and had a good excuse to miss the boring things.

Do you expect the Nursery staff to put a Mothers day lunch on at the weekend ? Many of the Nursery staff will have children and i am sure they won't want to give up their time with their own children to make you feel better.