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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think it’s not fair to say I’ve ‘cancelled 4 times’?

483 replies

floorbird · 06/03/2022 13:01

NC as identifiable.

Fairly new friend, we met via an activity our DC attend. She saw an ad for another activity (for DC but to be honest it’s more of a parent social thing as babies don’t get much out of these things I suppose) and we agreed to go together.

The first time we planned to go to this activity I stupidly mixed the dates up. I have no idea how, I just had it in my head it was on one day but it was the day before. She went, asked what happened and I explained and apologised. We then went to the next one together and had a great time.

The next week, I couldn’t go as I was waiting for PCR results (neg).

The week after that, I had to cancel as I’d been in contact with a covid pos person. Can’t be helped. She went alone. I wondered if she seemed a bit short in her texts but assumed I was imagining it because it’s not like I could do anything about being in contact with a positive person.

The next week (a couple of days ago) I was unable to go because I’d been visiting sister in another city and with the baby being up all night and one thing or another the day got away from me (as it does with a young child!) and I wouldn’t have made it back to the place the activity is on time. I explained this to her and apologised profusely (I understand this would have been really annoying but it couldn’t be helped). She didn’t reply.

I texted her today to arrange us going to the next event together and she said seeing as I’ve cancelled four times she’ll just see me there if I make it. I haven’t cancelled 4 times?! The first time was a genuine mistake. 2nd time was waiting for covid test result. The 3rd time I was isolating. The 4th time yes I will admit I cancelled. But that’s one time. I haven’t replied yet, I’m annoyed that she’s acting like I’ve said ‘can’t be bothered’ 4 times! Confused

AIBU to be annoyed that she’s annoyed? Also it’s not like me not being there means she can’t go or enjoy the event. It’s not as if I had invited her round to mine and then just not answered the door!

OP posts:
SD1978 · 07/03/2022 00:10

She's completely reasonable. Whether the reason was legitimate or not- and they all are, you are not reliable to attend. I would not want to base my travel around you either as you're not a reliable option, which is fine. I would also juts prefer to make my own arrangements and if you're there, great, if you're not, then makes no difference. You being miffed is completely unreasonable!

Theblacksheepandme · 07/03/2022 13:44

I think she's better off cutting ties with you OP. Perhaps she will realise sooner rather than later to do this. You don't sound very nice.

AssemblySquare · 07/03/2022 14:08

I would have done the same as her OP. You sound flaky and not bothered.

monicagellerbing · 07/03/2022 14:12

Yeah I couldn't be arsed making plans with you either OP. You sound flaky and not bothered about letting her down. Ok the having to isolate one when awaiting results, fair enough, the other 3 are just shit excuses.

Seenoevil1 · 07/03/2022 17:46

Just read that you are meeting up for a coffee.

Better latte than never Grin

Please buy a diary, turn up and be treat this woman to a free Brew Cake

Seenoevil1 · 07/03/2022 17:47

Oops...
Be kind 🐝 🌠

Ihopeyourcakeisshit · 07/03/2022 17:58

@Seenoevil1 Grin

Nevermindthefragglerocks · 07/03/2022 18:14

Sounds to me like you are actually both in agreement:
you are struggling to make and see through plans as you have a new baby.
As you don't know each other very well she is assuming you are a flake for making excuses. Likewise, you are assuming that she is rude because she has a direct style of communication.
If you take all of the emotion and assumptions away from the situation, you are both going to the social event when you can make it and will see each other there.
OP, you need to stop being so sensitive about this and go along to the thing when you can. Maybe you're not destined to be best friends - you sound quite different and that doesn't always work out (but when it flukily does it's usually a great friendship!)

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