What are the rudest/funniest things people have ever said to you?

[Janeyjacke]

Mine were a friend in high school (we were around 15) "You'd be so pretty if only you got your teeth fixed."
I have a long European surname, and my first name has 3 syllabes. I phoned up about a job once, told the guy my full name. He repeated it to me as a question, and then laughed down the phone at it.

Told by my abusive ex partner several years ago that I was 'nothing', and a 'parasite'. I had done nothing to warrant this.

Not really rude but just amusing, when I was 27 a friend's partner told me that if I wanted to have kids I'd really better hurry up 'with my age'. Would be interested to hear others.

I can't think/remember any really rude comments but one of the funniest ones I've had was at work one day looking out the window at the torrential rain. I said to my colleague 'I'm going to get wet walking to the car park". Quick as a flash he came back with "well, whatever turns you on"

On a night flight flying back to the UK with my mum. I'd fallen asleep leaning on her and she was very grumpy. We landed, I woke up oblivious to my misdemeanour. My mum turned to me and said in a voice that could be heard throughout the plane 'the trouble with you young lady is that you've had far too much of your own way all of your life'. I was 42. I was sooooo embarassed.

That ultimate put-down runs through my mind in all sorts of situations now. Most recently, I dream of saying it to Putin.

@DialSquare

I can't think/remember any really rude comments but one of the funniest ones I've had was at work one day looking out the window at the torrential rain. I said to my colleague 'I'm going to get wet walking to the car park". Quick as a flash he came back with "well, whatever turns you on"

My mother when I topped my class while studying for my master degree. “I bet the university gives all students those grades as they’re worried they’ll lose fees if people drop out.”

It was my birthday at the time and I was visiting her after living overseas for years.

My dd loves dressing up and wearing jewellery, I am the opposite. We visited my elderly aunt once and she was very pleased that dd had dressed up. She turned to me and said "Queenie you have a beautiful daughter, that's often the case when the mother is a plain Jane!"

She's never approved of my plainess!

Just to lighten the mood.

I'd been on holiday in Ecuador, I'm atheist but parents are RC and I bought them a rosary each, they were string with knots rather than beads.

My mum was thrilled, she said, "Oh these are great, I can keep them in my purse in case of an emergency"

I burst out laughing, because I can imagine being in situations where a knife, a rope, a parachute, matches etc might be useful but not a rosary.

@TheSunIsStillShining

go with funny... used to go to gay clubs in late teens, as I didn't have to worry about harassment, pick up lines, but could have fun and dance all night. Had a boyfriend wasn't looking for hook ups. genuinely wanted to dance. one time i did go bit overboard with makeup a bit and a guy come up at the bar with the line: "honey you are so gorgeous you can only be a boy. Want to f*ck?" Best pick up line ever and I spit my drink laughing. He was not offended and we ended up being party going friends for a while. He was loads of fun :)

I don't get this. I've been trying to work it out for ages. Pls help 😂

I'd just got my hair done, in a completely new style.
I went home and my male flatmate said, "ohhh love it duvet, it's so fine and flyaway"

I have thin hair so was a bit upset for a minute that my new hairdo had made me look more balding than usual.

Then we realised he had been picking up the shampoo ads incorrectly, believing that women used pantene or whatever to achieve fine flyaway hair, instead of curing it for thicker bouncy locks

newbie, I'm assuming the OP is female and went to gay clubs to enjoy herself without unwanted male attention. Someone at the club assumed, as she was so well presented, that she was a gay man in make up and tried to chat her up. But in the same breath managed to neg by suggesting a woman couldn't look that good.

@genie10

My husband was very handsome whilst I am just ordinary and I was asked more than once by friends how come he had married me.

He also must have felt the same, as I heard him tell a friend that it was better to have a plain wife,

That is awful, not sure I could get over my husband saying that!

"Can I help you Sir?"

I mean, I'm no Bella Hadid, but I'm quite clearly Female. His colleague just stood behind him with her mouth open 🤣🤣 Luckily I'm not easily offended!