What are the rudest/funniest things people have ever said to you?

[Janeyjacke]

Mine were a friend in high school (we were around 15) "You'd be so pretty if only you got your teeth fixed."
I have a long European surname, and my first name has 3 syllabes. I phoned up about a job once, told the guy my full name. He repeated it to me as a question, and then laughed down the phone at it.

Told by my abusive ex partner several years ago that I was 'nothing', and a 'parasite'. I had done nothing to warrant this.

Not really rude but just amusing, when I was 27 a friend's partner told me that if I wanted to have kids I'd really better hurry up 'with my age'. Would be interested to hear others.

To be told by various people that I've done a very good job raising my son "especially as you've done it on your own" . I find this very rude! Yes I'm a mum, yes I'm single, I don't need the title of single mum, it's irrelevant!

When I was about 14 I moved to a different area and school. I was at a park with my friend and on of the bully girls was there and asked where my surname came from. My friend told me not to say anything but even though I was shy I didn't care so said it's German. She then asked if I was a 'nancy'! I can only assume she meant nazi! I just smiled and said yes I'm a Nancy! Funny thing is her surname was Petit but she pronounced it pet- it!

A 'friend' I hadn't seen in a number of years congratulated me on being pregnant. When I told her I wasn't she said "but you used to be really thin". As though her rudeness was my fault for not staying the same size for 10 years.

@KylieCharlene

You seem to hit the jackpot of arseholes in your life. Please tell me that even after all the put downs and hoffic things that were said to, that you realised they were the ones with issues and not you. I hope this didn't affect you in later life. You poor thing. Are these people still in your life?

There's a really funny checkout operator at my local supermarket. She's totally dead pan and comes across as grumpy and friendly at the same time. One day she was scanning my shopping and said in the most monotone disinterested voice "you but the same old crap every week don't you?!". It was such a comedy moment...she's classic!

In the eigthies, my mum had an hour to kill up west and wandered into Harrods.

She was looking at a display of tea towels. There were some high up she liked, so she turned to the woman at the counter, who was filing her nails, and said, "Excuse me - can you tell me how much those ones at the top are?"

The woman raised her eyes from her file, casually scanned my mother up and down with an appraising eye and then said, very pointedly, "They're very expensive."

A very little pupil in my school once said ‘my Dad says you’re really pretty but need to lose a bit of weight’. I asked him to pass on my thanks to Dad!

I worked in a primary school. One of the other parents (who also worked there) saw me at the end of the day, and said "did you hear what #*¥ (her DS) called after you at lunch time today?" I said that I hadn't heard (I'm partially deaf). She said "he called out 'Miss, you're really fat and have a big bum' ".

I mean, why tell me this???

My mum once saw my friend out for lunch with her mum and the conversation went something along the lines of “ hi kate, how are you? Haven’t seen you for ages. Where did you get your jacket? Trudij123 has been looking for one for ages but can’t find one big enough”… luckily my friend knew exactly what mum meant and took the Mickey mercilessly out of my poor mum who was mortified… 😂😂😂

Years ago I asked a guy on a date who tbh I didn't actually fancy I was just bored.

His reply was: "I don't date women over 5 ft 10" & he wasn't actually joking. (I'm punching 6 ft - he was about 6' 2")

As I don't date twats it was a lucky escape.

@Kerensa70

A very little pupil in my school once said ‘my Dad says you’re really pretty but need to lose a bit of weight’. I asked him to pass on my thanks to Dad!

This made me laugh! Can you imagine that mortifying conversation! 'Daddy, Miss said thank you. ' 'What for sweetie?' 'Ooh calling her pretty and that she just needs to lose a little bit of weight'

The thing is I've found is these people who are so fucking rude can't take it when it's dishes back

My step-mother shouted at my father (in a caravan (on holiday) where everyone could hear her: "She (me) is a liar, a cheat and a thief and I hate her". She considered herself pretty middle class. My mother had died months before and I had to go and live with father and her. I was 12

I don't understand why so many MILs are so vicious and nasty like that. Could it be jealousy of 'losing' their sons to their respective wives? Feeling threatened?

If someone made a rude comment about my appearance or weight like that in front of me I'd tell them where to shove it and never see them again.

On a hen do once and one of the group was taking pictures of everyone there. She took one of me and another member of the group said “take it again, that looks funny” (peculiar, not haha). The one with the camera said “no, that’s just how she looks.”
All well within my earshot.

I was 20 and had very dry eyes which made me blink a lot. I was on a day out and a friend of a relative was there, she was in her 40s.
She loudly said 'I noticed that you keep doing that with your eyes' then did an impression of me.nice.

Another time I had a dinner party at my aunt's house and a friend of hers was there, who I'd never met. For a start, we were conversing in a language that I wasn't fluent in, and I was shy. Still, I made a little conversation with her, but because I wasn't extroverted enough for her she proceeded to go on and on all night about how shy and quiet I was, ask me why I was shy, and so on. Non stop.

I made my excuses and left early. I don't even think she thought she was helping me, she just wanted to make me feel bad for whatever reason. I should have told the stupid cow to close her trap and mind her own business

I was a fairy in the village pantomime. Afterwards, my very good friend said 'Ooooh I never realised how big you were until I saw you onstage.'

Been to the hairdresser thought my hair looked nice walked into work and my colleague looked at me with a shocked face and said “ what the f**k have you done to your hair!” £60 well spent then😆

When’s the baby due? I wasn’t pregnant

Hi Maverickess

I haven't posted here in a long while but I found your post very moving and just wanted to say I am so sorry you experienced that. It was horrendous for you and utterly despicable behaviour on both their parts and must have had such a negative impact on you. Wishing you lots of love and encouragement and hope you have a good life now.

I was about 6 months pregnant at a work event, putting some plans in place with the project lead at the co-hosting organisation for a future event. I said "I'll be off on maternity leave then but I'll make sure to brief the person covering for me and will introduce you once they are appointed." She said, "Oh, you are pregnant are you? I've been wondering all day. I thought perhaps you were just really chubby."

I didn't do pregnancy very well, we travelled to our Head Office one day where another member of staff was also pregnant. She looked great, really glowing and happy. Boss spent the whole journey home enthusing how well she looked, followed with "Poor you, Toastfiend, you've really struggled haven't you. You look so tired and grey all the time." Yeah, cheers for that.

So many vile 'friends' and relatives on here.
My Mum could be tactless, and had a bit of a weight obsession, but she wasn't deliberately cruel.
MIL wept, stroked my hair and kept telling me I was 'amazing' after I gave birth to both of our sons. She was the best of people. Miss her loads.

‘Your hair looks the same, it looks awful’ said by someone I went to school with and bumped into when I was visiting home.

Love the mil ones, I’ve heard all of them from my own.

My mum rubbing it in my face that my sister has 'living, breathing children'.

Fyi this was at my dad's death bed

Also fyi this was after 6 years TTC and countless miscarriages

@Matildatoldsuchdreadfullies Am I missing something? Does the accent change the words or do Russians have a saying relating hirsute arms to another characteristic?