What are the rudest/funniest things people have ever said to you?

[Janeyjacke]

Mine were a friend in high school (we were around 15) "You'd be so pretty if only you got your teeth fixed."
I have a long European surname, and my first name has 3 syllabes. I phoned up about a job once, told the guy my full name. He repeated it to me as a question, and then laughed down the phone at it.

Told by my abusive ex partner several years ago that I was 'nothing', and a 'parasite'. I had done nothing to warrant this.

Not really rude but just amusing, when I was 27 a friend's partner told me that if I wanted to have kids I'd really better hurry up 'with my age'. Would be interested to hear others.

@TheBigPeach

Sister when I was 8 months pregnant with my first and quite huge, came to visit and took a photo of me in my robe one morning. After she went home she copied me in the email she sent to family saying look how massive she is haha. I lost every bit of that baby weight much to her disappointment

For future reference, you should have channelled your inner Winston Churchill and replied 'I'm 8 months pregnant, in a few months I'LL be thin............'

@Finlandia

Won a prize at university for best overall performance. I was a mature student with two small children. My dad said ‘it’s a pity you don’t keep the house tidier’.

Ugh This the bane of my life ! It doesn't matter what I achieve, what I am going through, how good a mother I am - sometimes it feels like my sole worth is judged on the tidiness of my house 😡

@WalkingOnTheCracks

In the eigthies, my mum had an hour to kill up west and wandered into Harrods.

She was looking at a display of tea towels. There were some high up she liked, so she turned to the woman at the counter, who was filing her nails, and said, "Excuse me - can you tell me how much those ones at the top are?"

The woman raised her eyes from her file, casually scanned my mother up and down with an appraising eye and then said, very pointedly, "They're very expensive."

Your Mum needed Richard Gere's cridit card, obviously.

Some of your own have reminded me of things said to be, but particularly the last one. And always by NURSES!
I went for some blood tests not long after the first lockdown started. Nothing to do with fertility, etc. The nurse - who took great pleasure in telling me most other nurses couldn't find my veins because they're all basically crap unless they had been a midwife or something like she had - asked if I had children and I said no, I had a coil fitted but we were thinking about TTC some time in the future. She stopped what she was doing and said "Well you better get a move on at your age. And if you don't lose some weight you'll probably find it hard to conceive anyway." I was 36 and about 4st overweight. I burst into tears, then she hugged me (very Covid secure given how we all thought we were going to die at the time). I felt so humiliated and ashamed.

@Celoo what is wrong with people???!

When you're having medical procedures that's the time to stick the knife in??

When I was five, another boy in reception declaring I was so fat that I couldn't fit on earth.

In secondary, chavvy lad on my table going through all the girls in the class in order of who he found most to least attractive. I was last on his list. He took great pleasure in telling me that.

Countless other comments I endured.

A big fuck you to all the bullies worldwide

In secondary, chavvy lad on my table going through all the girls in the class in order of who he found most to least attractive. I was last on his list. He took great pleasure in telling me that.

I hope you told he didn’t even feature on yours.

When my exes brother met my sister (at my 30th birthday party) he commented to me thoughtfully "there's always the clever one and the pretty one with sisters"

When I told ex what he'd said (not upset, just as it was hilariously rude) ex replied "wellll, you know what he means"

That hurt.

By an ex boyfriend (context: I grew up on a council estate) ‘I’m like a flower sprouting out of the dirt’. That didn’t last long.

Another ex: I’m a s**t for not being a virgin when we met (my tally was 2 at that point, not that it matters). I told him I was going to have a great time sleeping with the next several and left.

Some proper charmers out there

There are so many bullies in the world, but important to remember they are the sad lost people.

When I was 12 I remember sitting in class and a boy repeatedly asking me if I knew how ugly I was.
Absolute bell end of a boyfriend telling his mates in the pub at the bar whilst I sat there how disgusting I looked with no clothes on.
I don't know about anyone else but these memories still hurt if I think of them.

Been asked a couple of times now if my child is my grandchild. Yes I'm an older mum, but don't look my age and I'm always well presented (make up, hair done, smart eg) And OK, I'm old enough to be a GP but if you are going to ask about a child with you, isn't it kinder to opt for "Is this your daughter?" Over "Is this your granddaughter?" Then at least you might MAKE someone's day rather than SPOIL it 😄

Ex friend and ex colleague turned out to be a self centered narcissistic bitch. She had form for regularly falling out with her friends, these friendships ending because of her selfishness. I was warned about her by mutual friends, and was one of her few friends left who believed her and that she was a sweet, kind person. How wrong I was. Long story but after I had moved away I had a horrible text from her a week later saying that "I can't be bothered to wait for you to invite me to visit and I need to make new friends, so am meeting a new group of friends tomorrow" She knew at the time that I was still surrounded by boxes, that the move had been very difficult and there were some problems with the new house but that we would see each other as soon as possible.

When I was a teen with acne on my forehead, I was at the park with friends (one of them very popular with the boys) and one friend got chatting to this group of boys from a different school and then one of them just looked at me and said “Oh my god, how ugly”! That comment still comes into my head and I’m 50 years old. Really affected my self confidence for life and I still get spots now (not as bad) even with just one spot I’m always really aware and feel that everyone is disgusted by it and thinks the way that boy did when they look at me.

@Buggersticks

Been asked a couple of times now if my child is my grandchild. Yes I'm an older mum, but don't look my age and I'm always well presented (make up, hair done, smart eg) And OK, I'm old enough to be a GP but if you are going to ask about a child with you, isn't it kinder to opt for "Is this your daughter?" Over "Is this your granddaughter?" Then at least you might MAKE someone's day rather than SPOIL it 😄

I've had that. In a charity shop. Woman behind the counter said something to DD about spending day with 'Granny'. I said, "Actually, I'm her mother." The woman looked me up and down and said, "Are you sure?" I offered to show her the scar from the emergency caesarean and she tutted and told me there was no need to be rude.

When I was around 14 a boy just turned to me in class and said 'Minger' and laughed.

A lady with dementia at the home my Mum worked in said to her 'You're the ugliest woman I've ever seen." But she later found out that she said it to every member of staff who looked after her!

Also remember being a teenager and having a pencil case which was 'Quiksilver' or whatever it was back then. A 'friend' in class said to me in the most patronising tone "Is that the only designer thing you've got?" We were 14.

I was told I was "individual looking" by someone I was dating Hahahahahah

Although this is also the guy who didn't know what coriander was... not the brightest.

@GoodnessTruthBeauty

Was in a German department store (Germans aren’t known for customer service) with my husband and tried on a padded gillet. Employee comes over and says serverely “that does NOT look good on you” but offers no alternative or customer service. My husband and I start getting a fit of the giggles and can’t stop laughing so have to leave.

When I was 12 I had a blonde bob and round glasses, I was walking home from school and a bloke across the street shouted “The Milky Bars are on me!” 😂

😂😂😂 the milky chars are on me omg that really made me laugh

When I went for my covid jab the nurse said 'oh I thought you were pregnant when I saw you but the realised you're too old to be'

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@Rrrob

FIL said DH and I were genetically incompatible after dd was born (unexpectedly) seriously ill. I will never forgive him.

I’m so sorry, that is a foul thing to say .

It’s reminded me of how MIL focused inappropriately on the medical side of things when I lost my baby at 16 weeks, saying things like ‘well X will need to know the reason, because of Y and Z!’, X being her precious daughter and Y and Z her daughter’s kids. It was all very ‘how does the recent loss of your child affect my side of the family?

@Member869894

When I went for my covid jab the nurse said 'oh I thought you were pregnant when I saw you but the realised you're too old to be'

It w

Oh cripes.

Poor nurse must have had a long day!

I had a miscarriage & couple of days later drove an hour to see a friend. She wanted to visit me but still unwilling to travel knowing I was in hospital. I had to tell her the reason why I was in hospital. The first thing she said was ' did they say why? Is it because you are too old?' I was 35 & mum to a 2 year old. She really did make me wonder if my age was to blame though. Thankfully my ds was born 10 months later

I have always had very full lips, long before it became fashionable. A girl at school used to call out "RUBBER LIPS!" every time we passed each other. The ironic thing was, she also had very full lips and I realised she was trying to make herself feel better by making me feel worse, not that I did.

I have so many sadly!
Heavily bullied through all my school years and now work in social media so you can imagine 🤣

One of them I went into my old work place with my little one who was a year old. My old manager pointed at my belly (I had gone up one dress size to a 10) and said oh and you CLEARLY having another one? Never did like her. Horrible to work for.

Another one that sticks out I was 15 in a beauty class at school (and at a self conscience age and stage) the teacher told the whole class that I had 'really uneven brows and had no chance of them matching they are weird so don't bother much time trying to make them even'

Someone once blamed DSs autism on my parenting skills. "He doesn't have autism, stop excusing your shit parenting. Your shit at everything." He was diagnosed with autism at the time....

Also I was bullied a lot through school, I was prone to meltdowns (I have autism myself) and the kids took the piss out of me every chance they got to wind me up. You have a big nose, your a tramp, your fat and ugly (by a girl much bigger than I.)
In the end I stormed out of the classroom once and set the fire alarm off and ran away from school. Only then did the teachers put a stop to it after three years of hell.