To not buy non vegan food

[Ellie198712]

I’ve recently (2 months ago) gone vegan after watching Earthlings and thinking about how I can’t honestly distinguish between eating a dog or a cow.

DH isn’t vegan and has no intent of becoming one, which is fine, obviously ideally I’d like if we could be a plant based household but it’s his life and diet!

However I feel really uncomfortable buying him eggs and meat when I go to the shops. Today it’s caused a bit of a row as I popped into our veg shop to stock up on veg and he asked me to pick up milk and eggs. I said I didn’t really want to buy them 🤦‍♀️

He’ll eat it what he wants of course but I don’t want to buy things associated with animal suffering really 🤷🏼‍♀️

You are making an ethical choice not to subsidise animal suffering and that’s totally allowed. If he wants to give money to livestock farmers then you aren’t stopping him, that’s his choice. But you shouldn’t be expected or made to feel uncomfortable about doing something you’re not comfortable with. I wouldn’t buy cigarettes for anyone, ever. Same thing

Yeah I agree. I can't imagine DP ever asking me to pick up a steak for him. My housemates wouldn't either

It's probably just because you're newly vegan OP....once he's realised you're taking it seriously he'll come round.

I don't think you are being ridiculous at all. You are taking a stand against abuse and have decided not to support that industry.

Tbh I think veganism isn't the issue here.

It's more your dh asked you to do him a small favour because you were already at the shops.

Now he'll have to make a special trip because you refused. This kind of faff creates resentment.

Now you may settle into a new normal where your dh just gets used to the fact you won't do these things anymore. Or maybe not.

You're entitled to have your beliefs just as your dh may be resentful of how you choose to act on them.

Id have thought dog would be more gamey 🤔

@ineedsun

I’m vegan, the rest of the family aren’t. I’ll buy and cook meat for them. I don’t have any right to force my choices on them.

The extremes on each side of the debate are daft.

It's not about forcing choices for some people though. It's about finding the producers.

In the same way some people choose not to buy tobacco products for smokers with their own money. Oddly no one ever describes that as 'forcing choices' .

Having saidthat@Ellie198712 if you're willing to pay for animal products online then that's exactly the same as handing the money over yourself. So you're either comfortable paying for animal products or you aren't. Your position is illogical, and that's probably annoying for your DH.

Oh God you’re going to be one of those types of vegans. God help your DH. Poor bloke.

I honestly wish I hadn’t posted this, it seems to have strengthened the resolve of people who choose to eat meat which makes me extremely sad. I get that maybe I should’ve just bought the eggs and maybe I’ll do that in future.

All I’m trying to do is reduce the suffering of animals that I think we all love. I certainly love our pets.

I honestly like the taste of meat, but I just can’t agree that you can love animals and hate animal cruelty yet still subject them to torture, pain and death because their flesh tastes good.

On that note, I’m out but I do still believe that those amazing people who love animals will do their own research.

I'm vegan and DH and DS aren't, we do the big shop online but if he wants something else during the week he gets it but then I tend to plan ahead and don't do top ups. I don't think it's unreasonable to not want to, but you'll find most people on here get defensive on threads about veganism.

Yes animals will die for crop protection and harvesting but to minimise that, surely it’s better to eat one lot of crops that grow fields of crops to feed animals and then feed those to the humans?

Don’t you remember your energy pyramids from school? Livestock needs to eat and the vast majority of the energy they eat goes to their bodily functions and not on producing food for us.

OP there is a vegan board and you might get more understanding from people on there as there will be a fair few people in your position.

Fist bump Ellie198712 it can be tricky to navigate at first but you'll get into the swing of it!

Id have thought dog would be more gamey

Not really gamey, well, maybe a bit like rabbit. Leaner than lamb but not as dry as horse. If I had to pick one thing it was most similar to I'd say kangaroo but kangaroo is nice rare and dog benefits from slow cooking.

I honestly wish I hadn’t posted this, it seems to have strengthened the resolve of people who choose to eat meat which makes me extremely sad

I really don’t think this is the case

People eat meat and continue to eat meat cos they want to, not because they are dischuffed with someone on the internet

@donquixotedelamancha

Id have thought dog would be more gamey

Not really gamey, well, maybe a bit like rabbit. Leaner than lamb but not as dry as horse. If I had to pick one thing it was most similar to I'd say kangaroo but kangaroo is nice rare and dog benefits from slow cooking.

Might depend on the dog?

YANBU to not want to buy or cook non-vegan stuff, but it does sound like you and your DH are in for a lot of faff, a lot of wasted time, a lot of wasted gas and electric cooking different meals, and you'll be spending a good amount extra money... I foresee a lot of disagreements too. Good luck with your relationship lasting if you carry on and your DH has no intention of joining you.

I am not going to jump on the vegan bashing bandwagon, or call you names, and I do know several perfectly nice vegans. I also know several insufferable ones, who I struggle to not swing for every time they open their mouth.

Live and let live and all that jazz, but no way on God's earth could I live with a vegan, or be in a relationship with one.

No offence intended @Ellie198712 I am just being honest.

@PinkSyCo

Oh God you’re going to be one of those types of vegans. God help your DH. Poor bloke.

Yeah... The type of vegan who doesn't want to support an industry they believe cruel with their own money. What total monsters.

I dont buy anyone meat or non vegan food. My son is vegan too so no problems there but my ex husband had to buy and cook his own meat.

@Dashel people can eat they like but refusing to get a pint of milk because of ‘suffering’ for your husband when billions of animals die for arable and fresh produce is hypocritical. Maybe you don’t realise the scale of animals used and dying for fresh produce and arable.

@ineedsun

I’m vegan, the rest of the family aren’t. I’ll buy and cook meat for them. I don’t have any right to force my choices on them.

The extremes on each side of the debate are daft.

They really are

@TheCraicDealer

An ex-colleague was vegan and was in the same situation. His expectations and inflexibility with respect to his non-vegan wife eventually caused them pretty serious marital issues.

Was he a vegan when they got married?

Might depend on the dog?

Very true, I do find quite a lot of variety in quality with little dogs being rubbish. Would be nice to try a proper dog steak. One day I must visit Korea, or Milton Keynes.

Going vegan would be a dealbreaker in a relationship for me, because I do most of the cooking and refuse to cook several different meals to accommodate for people’s fads.

Plenty of people have happy relationships and marriages with people who aren't vegan or vice versa, those that don't I suspect had deeper issues than food. The ridiculous lengths some go to try and prove how awful it is being vegan is weird. We do similar to OP, most meals we just adapt rather than separate meals, DH can eat meal and dairy as he pleases and the flip of that is understanding I don't want to buy it but aren't arsed if he does.

I do know what you mean but isn't it worse for the environment to force two shopping trips? I'm veggie married to non veggie and would pick him up pre packaged ham, for example, if asked. I wouldn't feel comfortable going to a butchers counter though.