Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask if you screamed or stayed silent in labour?

625 replies

WibbleWobbleWibble · 05/03/2022 18:14

The other night I was watching an old episode of call the midwife with my mum and dad. Both of the women giving birth were screaming the place down and it got us chatting.........my brother was born at home and my dad said he never heard a sound from my mum even though he was in the next room (1971 dads were not welcome in the delivery room).
My mum said that she couldn't identify with the screaming woman as she went quiet when she was in labour, I was the same, I went quiet and didn't say a word during both my deliveries.
Judging by TV and movie representations of women giving birth everyone screams! I think just as many women stay quiet as scream, it's whatever works for you ..........

YANBU I didn't scream
YABU I screamed the place down

OP posts:
GrandRapids · 05/03/2022 18:33

Silent. And no pain relief (long story). To this day I have no idea what was going on, it was like my mind just shut down because it was so fucking painful

nomoremsniceperson · 05/03/2022 18:34

Screamed like a banshee during my first labour. Was silent as a ghost for the second. The difference was that I used self hypnosis/breathing techniques for the second to manage the contractions. Screaming isn't inevitable for birth.

FolkSongSweet · 05/03/2022 18:34

I was really quiet for both of mine. With my first they wouldn’t even believe I was in labour until my waters broke everywhere in triage and when they examined me I was fully dilated. Second time I screamed as she was crowning. Was expecting an easier birth than the first time but she was 9lbs with a head over the 100th centile.

RoyKent · 05/03/2022 18:34

Screamed and screamed. "I WANT TO DIE" I yelled over and over. To the point I tired myself out. In-between contractions I did apologise.

OldMillenial · 05/03/2022 18:34

Screamed and shouted like a fishwife. Sent DH out to the corridor after yelling at him to ‘fucking stop staring at me.’ I just wanted it to be me and the midwife, although he came in again just before the baby actually came. I was all happy and smily when DD finally shot out but while in labour I was in a foul temper

FuzzyPuffling · 05/03/2022 18:34

*hat, not hot. Well, I would swear if I dropped something hot.

girlmom21 · 05/03/2022 18:35

@OldMillenial

Screamed and shouted like a fishwife. Sent DH out to the corridor after yelling at him to ‘fucking stop staring at me.’ I just wanted it to be me and the midwife, although he came in again just before the baby actually came. I was all happy and smily when DD finally shot out but while in labour I was in a foul temper
Fucking stop staring at me 😂😂
HardbackWriter · 05/03/2022 18:35

@ThatsGoingToHurt

I didn’t scream at all during my first labour. Because I wasn’t screaming the midwifes wouldn’t believe I was in labour. In the end I had to do some fake screaming and tell the midwife I was pushing to get them to believe I was in labour. Surprise surprise I was fully dilated and pushing!
That was basically what happened to me with my first, too - I nearly gave birth on the triage ward because no one would believe me. But they finally examined me, conceded that they could see the baby's head and moved me not long before I started crowning and at that point I was screaming!
cherryonthecakes · 05/03/2022 18:35

I screamed. It helps give me an extra oomph although I bet some people will want to conserve their voice so their energy is concentrated in their muscles.

DogsDryWineAndCheese · 05/03/2022 18:35

I didn’t really remember but thought I’d screamed my way through Labour. My mum told me I was silent apart from the last minute where I roared.
I do remember whimpering afterwords when I felt the consequences of having tested back to front with nothing other than bloody paracetamol in my system though Wine

Sexnotgender · 05/03/2022 18:35

I didn’t scream. I mooed like a motherfucker though 😂

DuesToTheDirt · 05/03/2022 18:35

SnowFoxWinterFox

That is horrendous Flowers.

TravellingFrom · 05/03/2022 18:36

I can’t say I screamed but I wasn’t quiet either. More of a very deep loud grunt maybe?

What I know is that, with Dc2, the part if me that hurt the most was my throat Grin. But it was a quick easy birth. Very different from Dc1 where, yes down below felt ‘sensitive’ but I didn’t make a noise because I had an epidural!

stargirl1701 · 05/03/2022 18:36

I chanted. Aaaaaaaoooooooommmmmm.

ShowOfHands · 05/03/2022 18:36

@FuzzyPuffling

No screaming, no swearing, just concentration and effort and the occasional bit of conversation from me. (No painkillers either). My midwife said I "spoilt it for other women" I was so well behaved.

Smug!

(These days I swear the the drop of a hot. Definitely not labour related)

"well behaved"

I'm so glad I'm post birth trauma counselling these days as for years I felt like a big fat failure having had such a bloody mess of a labour and delivery. If I'd read that and assumed that in comparison, I was "badly behaved" when enduring the worst two days of my life just because I cried and made noise, I'd be back to flashbacks, nightmares and utter self flagellation.

We really need to stop comparing experiences and attaching value judgements to birth. My friend quite happily said she was glad she avoided a cs as her baby "deserved better". I mean the wtf are we doing to each other?!

CeleriacOfTheNight · 05/03/2022 18:36

My mum, who is usually lovely btw, hated when women on TV screamed the labour ward down as she said 'normal women didn't make all that noise'.

I found out with my subsequent three labours that I mustn't be normal, because I made an absolute racket, every fucking time.

Ttcfinalbub · 05/03/2022 18:36

I mmmmmmmmd and groaned and moaned apparently in a very sexual manner :/ only know by being told after. Despite drug free births I barely remember much tbh from the start of pushing to being handed babies which I find very strange curios if anyone else was the same ?

Slipperfairy · 05/03/2022 18:37

I didn't swear, which is highly unusual for me.

I had been a bit freaked out hearing other women screaming, while I was waiting for a delivery room to go in to. According to dh, I mooed with dc1. Told them I couldn't do it- at the crowning bit.

I was off my tits on gas and air with both. I talked a lot of shit with dc2. Still. Feel sorry for for the student midwife who delivered dc2.

Isgooglebroken · 05/03/2022 18:37

Back to back baby -ventouse & episiotomy-with only gas and air, despite begging for an epidural Angry but only moans & groans with the occasional ‘shut up’ aimed at DH because he wouldn’t stop twittering on to the MW & he was doing my head in.

AcrossthePond55 · 05/03/2022 18:37

I had no pain relief of any kind with either of mine, gave birth in hospital. No actual screaming, but pretty loud 'UHHHHHHHH'-ing. More than a groan, less than a grunt. But I think my 'noise level' was due mostly to knowing there were other labouring women in the vicinity. If I'd had a home birth I probably would have been much louder.

I was louder with DS1 than DS2 but I'm pretty sure that was because, no matter how many women tell you it really HURTS, you have no real idea what that means until you're right in the middle of it!

Overtheroadroundthecorner · 05/03/2022 18:37

I was quiet, I remember years ago hearing that it was a waste of energy screaming in labour. Not sure how true it is.

Glwysen · 05/03/2022 18:37

I had a bit of a yell with my second, a young doctor told me i should be quiet so i screamed more then. I still remember him - said i should be quiet and then said if I didn’t try harder he would have to use forceps. Bloody arse

SnowFoxWinterFox · 05/03/2022 18:38

@DuesToTheDirt

SnowFoxWinterFox

That is horrendous Flowers.

Thanks. I cannot tell you how angry I am now. For 12 years I thought i had done something wrong. Currently in the middle of a FOI request for my medical notes. Oddly enough things have been sluggish at the hospoital end shall we say.
girlmom21 · 05/03/2022 18:38

@Ttcfinalbub

I mmmmmmmmd and groaned and moaned apparently in a very sexual manner :/ only know by being told after. Despite drug free births I barely remember much tbh from the start of pushing to being handed babies which I find very strange curios if anyone else was the same ?
I don't really remember much either - especially from the first birth. Maybe our brains just go into survival mode and our memory isn't that important?
FluffyBooBoo · 05/03/2022 18:38

I can't vote. I was neither silent nor was I screaming.

How odd to think those are the only two options.