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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask if you screamed or stayed silent in labour?

625 replies

WibbleWobbleWibble · 05/03/2022 18:14

The other night I was watching an old episode of call the midwife with my mum and dad. Both of the women giving birth were screaming the place down and it got us chatting.........my brother was born at home and my dad said he never heard a sound from my mum even though he was in the next room (1971 dads were not welcome in the delivery room).
My mum said that she couldn't identify with the screaming woman as she went quiet when she was in labour, I was the same, I went quiet and didn't say a word during both my deliveries.
Judging by TV and movie representations of women giving birth everyone screams! I think just as many women stay quiet as scream, it's whatever works for you ..........

YANBU I didn't scream
YABU I screamed the place down

OP posts:
Bromse · 11/03/2022 10:19

@flyingdream

Those of you who didn't scream did you have any pain relief? Because the pain I felt was like lightning bolts x 100000000000000 in my lower stomach and even more with my second who was breech!
No, no pain relief. In any case by the time I got to hospital my labour was too advanced for anything other than gas and air - which I rejected, didn't like it. My baby was born two hours after admission. Though I didn't scream I did groan quite a bit towards the end but all in all, it was a satisfactory experience.
Trinacham · 11/03/2022 10:25

@flyingdream

Those of you who didn't scream did you have any pain relief? Because the pain I felt was like lightning bolts x 100000000000000 in my lower stomach and even more with my second who was breech!
Just gas and air during the last 20 minutes. Waters broke at 11am, got to the hospital at 2pm (this is when they told me to come in when I rang at 11!). Nobody checked up on my until 2:45 - when they did they realised I was fully dilated! I asked for gas and air, then baby popped out at 15:06! No time for any other pain relief but I never felt like I needed it (got flamed on here for saying I have a high pain threshold, which is what the midwives and doctors said!)..
3ormoredogs · 11/03/2022 10:36

I was pretty smug with DC1 and thought I had a strong pain threshold. It was painful but manageable.

DC2 if someone had given me a gun I would have put myself out of my misery. Never felt pain like it.

It’s pure luck IMO.

Trinacham · 11/03/2022 10:42

@3ormoredogs I do keep joking about it that I'll probably have an awful time next time. I've never been in much pain though and that's with breaking my leg and having a kidney infection. They weren't fun but I did surprise the doctors both those times! I'll try to remember to report back in a few years if I have another 😆

3ormoredogs · 11/03/2022 10:45

I also have never had much pain really, not even with a broken ankle. I remember the midwife joking it’s because I have ginger hair and us redheads have high pain thresholds Grin

Truly ate my words with DC2. Much bigger baby and awful positioning…bloody horrendous.

Trinacham · 11/03/2022 10:50

@3ormoredogs I am wondering if I'll have a big baby next time as I know they say subsequent children are usually bigger, and I had Gestational Diabetes this time (he was a week early and wasn't big despite this). I was 9lb 2oz which was my mum's biggest baby (last) because of gestational diabetes

HeyItsPickleRick · 13/03/2022 10:23

I imagine size does matter. My son was 9lbs9oz and really hurt (I'm small frames). 7lbs10oz DD was a dream.

TheHumanExperience · 13/03/2022 14:36

@Ohmnomnom

I screamed! And groaned, mooed, howled, shrieked and farted.
This ⤴️ However I just used a small amount of gas and air as I didn't want drugs.

I also had a 10lb baby and 6 stitches so the noise was warranted.

Awwlookatmybabyspider · 14/03/2022 14:38

Jimmy and
Nancy
Maggie
Elsie
Lottie
Maisie
Daisy
Dolly
Betsy
Marnie
Annie
Suzie

shockthemonkey · 14/03/2022 15:57

I was mostly quiet, it felt like the pain was too intense for screaming. But, I did let out quite a few strong swear words at which point the midwife said, "oh, cursing now - you're in active labour then".

Cats1234567 · 14/03/2022 16:20

I had a long labour - 22 hours! The only thing that got me through it was lots of deep breathing through the contractions, and banging my arm on the side of the bed! I suppose that was all a distraction. I think I let out a little scream when DD head crowned. My DD however, screamed the place down when she was born!

Totoro1234 · 29/03/2023 19:01

Hey! Found this thread after recently giving birth and being given terbutaline to relax my contractions. I feel incredibly anxious that the baby might have been in distress during my labour and it’s caused damage. I’ve asked for a birth debrief but just wondered how your little ones are doing and whether you had any anxiety either? Thanks xx

babybythesea · 29/03/2023 19:05

I was silent right up to the point of delivery. The baby got stuck, cord round her neck, and the only way they could free her was me on my back in stirrups. I had PGP (SPD). I couldn’t even have imagined the pain at that point. It wasn’t even slightly numbed by the gas and air or the stronger pain relief they gave me. I came very close to passing out. But it wasn’t the delivery - it was the position I had to be in. I felt as though my pelvis was being slowly ripped out. As soon as the baby was out and u was taken out of stirrups I was fine!

WalkingOnTheCracks · 29/03/2023 19:10

My wife screamed at a doctor, two senior midwives and a nurse - I calculated it at about seventy collective years of experience in the field of delivering babies - "YOU PEOPLE HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT'S HAPPENING TO ME!"

3ormoredogs · 29/03/2023 19:12

I have just given birth to DC3.

I can confirm, despite trying my best, that I screamed just as much on crowning as I did with the other 2. Experience didn’t help one bit with the pain!

Fifi1010 · 29/03/2023 19:16

I mooed during contractions they didn't believe I was in labour I could talk the whole way through I was 10cm when I arrived . The bit I screamed at was the pushing stage the crowning hurt so bad. The midwife told me to be quiet as I was wasting energy. 🤣😳.

Fifi1010 · 29/03/2023 19:17

I also had zero pain relief throughout the entire thing so I'm not ashamed the only time I was loud was the pushing stage.

Oysterbabe · 29/03/2023 19:19

I'm not a screamer. A few groans but mine popped out in no time.

EyesOnThePies · 29/03/2023 19:20

I was going ‘huuuuurgh’ on the outbreaths all the way through later contractions. No screaming or yelling.

FullaSpjäll · 29/03/2023 19:26

With DC1 I was in so much pain and screamed in terror despite an epidural. I honestly thought I was going to die. Nobody had twigged DC was stuck and would never have come out unaided.

With DC2, I was in a completely different zone, at home, hypno-birth breathing and, like PP described, emitted nothing but a low guttural grunt. No hint of pain or fear and no sounds to speak of.

EsmeSusanOgg · 29/03/2023 19:28

I didn't scream. But not was a silent. I was very chatty with my husband and the midwives. Kept my nerves calm (that and the gas & air).

89redballoons · 29/03/2023 23:09

With DC2 I was hanging out in the pool, chatting away to the lovely midwife and DH right up until crowning, which yes, did make me scream. There was a bit of a panic in the room as my baby's heart rate dropped quite dramatically and things went quickly from a happy, chatty atmosphere to "oh shit the baby needs to come out right now".

The MW wanted me to get on my back but I refused and got on hands and knees instead, screaming absolute bloody murder. MW said OK, well then you've just got to get him out PDQ, so on the next contraction put the energy you're putting into yelling into pushing.

It did work as he was born on that contraction, and according to my notes the whole 2nd stage of labour lasted all of 4 minutes. DC2 had the cord around his neck which had caused the drop in his heart rate, but he was and is just fine.

TenoringBehind · 29/03/2023 23:25

I remember saying ‘I don’t like this’ and ‘I can’t do this’ over and over again

Fedupofballs · 29/03/2023 23:32

I was high as a kite, on goodness knows what pain relief (with additional gas and air) telling jokes, while my traumatised husband had his hand held by my mother in law and my mum tried to break into the maternity ward due to jealousy over MIL being there. I think Jeremy Kyle might have been playing in the background for some of it.

Murdoch1949 · 30/03/2023 07:04

I certainly felt a twinge or 2 (!) but didn't scream, moaned a lot, especially with first. But there was a lot of screaming from next delivery suite, but once I found out it was a 13 yr old I just felt sympathy.

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