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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To ask if you screamed or stayed silent in labour?

625 replies

WibbleWobbleWibble · 05/03/2022 18:14

The other night I was watching an old episode of call the midwife with my mum and dad. Both of the women giving birth were screaming the place down and it got us chatting.........my brother was born at home and my dad said he never heard a sound from my mum even though he was in the next room (1971 dads were not welcome in the delivery room).
My mum said that she couldn't identify with the screaming woman as she went quiet when she was in labour, I was the same, I went quiet and didn't say a word during both my deliveries.
Judging by TV and movie representations of women giving birth everyone screams! I think just as many women stay quiet as scream, it's whatever works for you ..........

YANBU I didn't scream
YABU I screamed the place down

OP posts:

LubaLuca · 05/03/2022 18:27

I honked like a goose, just once, but silent otherwise.

ForTheHorde · 05/03/2022 18:27

I actually remember very little (long labour, pethidine early in the night so I could get some sleep - sort of) but think by time I was in the pool is was more of an angry grunt. And lots of crying. Definitely no screaming the house down.

TheProvincialLady · 05/03/2022 18:28

Child 1 - screamed the labour ward down until the spinal and was then silent due to being unconscious. It was a very traumatic birth

Child 1 - mooed a bit but only during pushing, which took about 5 minutes max. Just as well as it was a home birth and the neighbours might have wondered what was going on!

Ottolin3 · 05/03/2022 18:28

I stayed completely silent, I don’t think I made a peep throughout.

Lemonysherbet · 05/03/2022 18:28

I probably wouldn't have screamed but mid labour I realised there's 2 places in this world you can scream as much as you want. The Nevada desert and the labour ward. I'd already done it in the desert so I actually had a go at it on the labour ward and it felt bloody good 🤣

Faywithoutane · 05/03/2022 18:28

I didn't want to speak to anyone. I would have happily shut myself in the bathroom and been alone (the fact I needed a C-section in the end means that wouldn't have been a good idea but it's what I wanted to do!)

thewhatsit · 05/03/2022 18:28

Oh God I screamed loads. And then with my second I couldn’t scream any longer and realised I was too tired to scream but was silently crying with big tears plopping down on me, God knows how long that lasted.

Thewindwhispers · 05/03/2022 18:29

Silent

Original poster

WibbleWobbleWibble · 05/03/2022 18:29

It definitely wasn't a conscious decision whether or not to scream, I was on automatic pilot trying to get through it. Both of mine were back to back, each labour was intensely painful but thankfully also rather short!

OP posts:

Ohmnomnom · 05/03/2022 18:29

@Confusedteacher

I barely said a word during labour (Gas and air helped!) But when it got to the pushing I screamed the house down - will never forget the midwife who said “push from your bottom not from your throat!”

I was told that as well! "push from your bum like when you go to the toilet, not from your face" I screamed back "This is the face I make when I shit!"

ShowOfHands · 05/03/2022 18:29

Being reserved is nothing to do with it. I was silent in one labour (didn't hurt) and vocal in another (not screaming but crying and begging to die actually). I'm a v reserved and quiet person but I had a traumatic and v painful labour with one of mine. She wasn't an elephant either. She was severely malpositioned and after a 31hr labour with 2 minute contractions with no gap, I was fully dilated for 6hrs and had an episiotomy, ventouse and attempted rotation without pain relief before it all went tits up and I haemorrhaged and had a crash CS. I would have screamed but I was numb and traumatised at the end.

SnowFoxWinterFox · 05/03/2022 18:30

I screamed. I had a 26 hour labour that despite me asking for a c-section due to the fact I broke my pelvis and spine in a horse riding accidernt 15 years before resulted in a roll of the eyes from the people who were supposed to be looming after me and a 'we'll start ypu off as a natural birth and see how far we get'. Then DS1 got very very stuck, with the cord wrapped aroun d his neck. But apparrently they could not do an ECS as the anaesthetist had gone home. he had to be rescuscittated. I had a massive pph. Ds1 was in ICU, I was well out of it and the discharge notes said I had had an easy labour of under 10 hours.

DS1 was black when he was finally out. He now has brain damage.

You fucking bet i screamed.

FairyCakeWings · 05/03/2022 18:30

I was quietly puffing away on the gas and air for most of it, but then they took it away for the final bit and when I tore I think I screamed.

FuzzyPuffling · 05/03/2022 18:30

No screaming, no swearing, just concentration and effort and the occasional bit of conversation from me. (No painkillers either). My midwife said I "spoilt it for other women" I was so well behaved.

Smug!

(These days I swear the the drop of a hot. Definitely not labour related)

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 05/03/2022 18:30

I think I was probably a mixture

I definitely had moment of quiet, especially when the gas and air thing was firmly over my face, but probably more grunting, moaning noises than screaming as such. Maybe like a farm animal , or someone having a big poo who thought no one was listening

FuzzyPuffling · 05/03/2022 18:31

@LubaLuca

I honked like a goose, just once, but silent otherwise.

This is brilliant!

HardbackWriter · 05/03/2022 18:31

I think I screamed a bit during pushing both times - it's a bit of a haze to be honest! Like a pp I sort of remember using the scream as I pushed - maybe it was more of a shout than a scream, really?

ThatsBullshirt · 05/03/2022 18:31

Groaned and made some noise with my first (LONG spontaneous) but didn't scream. With my second (induced) I was silent and really calm. Even the midwife commented on how relaxed I seemed considering I'd gone from 4cm to 10 cm in about half an hour while being alone in the hospital to calling my husband to come because I was being taken to L&D to him arriving and fainting to having the baby without any meds at all in less than an hour. It was intense but I was so quiet except to mutter once that I couldn't do it but baby was born one push later.

SnowFoxWinterFox · 05/03/2022 18:31

Excuse typos.

I am not 100% sure what the question is. Is it that some of us are more resilient by not screaming? Ds1s birth brings up so many emotions that internally I am screaming right now.

devildeepbluesea · 05/03/2022 18:31

Yeah I mooed like a cow.

girlmom21 · 05/03/2022 18:31

I definitely didn't scream. I've given birth twice and still cannot work out how people scream and push at the same time or how screaming helps.

I was quite quiet I think. The noise I did make would've been similar to the mooing mentioned!

BulletTrain · 05/03/2022 18:32

I mooed and the midwife said "Aha, that's you fully dilated."

After that I did a lot of hnnnnnrgh and hysterical laughter on gas an air.

SnowFoxWinterFox · 05/03/2022 18:32

Oh- and when my midwife handed over to the next (before the whole cord wrapped around the neck and brain damage bit) she commented in my hearing 'She's making heavy weather of it'.

hangrylady · 05/03/2022 18:33

I'm really not sure. I did poo myself twice though which was lovely

LubaLuca · 05/03/2022 18:33

This is brilliant!

Yeah, my husband thought so too

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