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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask if you screamed or stayed silent in labour?

625 replies

WibbleWobbleWibble · 05/03/2022 18:14

The other night I was watching an old episode of call the midwife with my mum and dad. Both of the women giving birth were screaming the place down and it got us chatting.........my brother was born at home and my dad said he never heard a sound from my mum even though he was in the next room (1971 dads were not welcome in the delivery room).
My mum said that she couldn't identify with the screaming woman as she went quiet when she was in labour, I was the same, I went quiet and didn't say a word during both my deliveries.
Judging by TV and movie representations of women giving birth everyone screams! I think just as many women stay quiet as scream, it's whatever works for you ..........

YANBU I didn't scream
YABU I screamed the place down

OP posts:
Bajezzeuz · 05/03/2022 19:01

I didn't scream but I made an awful sound like sounded like I was mooing 😂

The midwife told me off for swearing and said I was being aggressive because i was saying to MYSELF "fuck sake, fuck sake, I can't fucking cope, fuck fuck. My dp had to say shes not veing aggressive and shes not swearing at you, she's muttering to herself!

I'd had an induced labour without the epidural at first and it went from 0 to 100. I was throwing up the pain was so bad and it was my 3rd Labour

I ended up getting an epidural and it was fine after that

I

Gizacluethen · 05/03/2022 19:01

I was silent until she told me I was still (after three days) 3cm. I had just lost all ability to think and my body was just screaming for help I think, I had the drip so was contracting as though it was time to push and it very much wasn't.

BillyAndTheSillies · 05/03/2022 19:01

My first I was silent through. I hypnobirthed through it and was fine.

My second my husband was sent home as I wasn't progressing. But I then went from 4cm to delivered in 30 minutes and it was in one giant 20 minute long contraction. I was alone and scared and screamed and only calmed down when my husband arrived two minutes before DS2 was born.

The midwives didn't believe I was so close and I just felt out of control and screaming seemed to help and centre me again.

EarringsandLipstick · 05/03/2022 19:02

@InsideTheNet

I didn't scream, I was very quiet. Many many years ago a colleague of mine said she screamed so much the midwife slapped her face 😱
A friend had that experience too, 15 years ago. The midwife also glared at her & said 'Shut. Up'. After the baby arrived, midwife was lovely. My friend was ok with it, said she was so demented she probably needed it, to get baby out.

Still sounds a bit extreme to me!

Awwlookatmybabyspider · 05/03/2022 19:02

I slept through mostly of my contractions (epidural) Grin I ended up having to an emergency c/section.

TooManyPJs · 05/03/2022 19:02

I screamed all the way through until I started pushing. It was horrific.

BoodleBug51 · 05/03/2022 19:02

I was really quiet, DH said that it was as if I was in a trance but I've had CBT in the past and am quite happy to disappear inside my own head.

I do remember hearing a woman screaming when I had my 1st when walking into the delivery unit, and being absolutely terrified. If I could have waddled back out at speed, I would have!!

Bonbon21 · 05/03/2022 19:03

I decided during my pregnancy that my child would not be born to the sound of his mothers screams.
I gave a grunt...I am reliably informed by my birthing partner.. just as I tore...6 stitches were required later...
But apart from that I was silent....

BillyAndTheSillies · 05/03/2022 19:03

@TeddyTonks

I went from 0cm to baby in less than 40 minutes, yes I made a lot of noise! It was like being hit by a train.
Hit by a train is exactly the description for this kind of labour.
MissMaple82 · 05/03/2022 19:04

I was quiet up until pushing, then I screamed

JellyfishandShells · 05/03/2022 19:05

I certainly yelped at crowning both times, , and asserted very loudly my first time around that I didn’t want to do this today after all ( fully dilated) and could I come back tomorrow instead ?

My husband’s hand had deep marks from my short nails and he said afterwards he thought I had dislocated his fingers from gripping so hard.

foundmykey · 05/03/2022 19:05

As I got closer to actual delivery, I hit Mariah Carey type notes. I know a midwife who calls it "the turn".

Fairislefandango · 05/03/2022 19:05

I certainly made noise. I've no idea what kind of noise- I've pretty much blanked the whole process (both times) from my brain, thank goodness. If I hadn't been able to blank it out, I'd never have had a second dc!

roxisolerenshaw · 05/03/2022 19:07

I had gas and air with my first and no pain relief with my second and didn't make a sound with either. It was so painful I needed absolute silence in the room to concentrate and get through it.

Sleepyquest · 05/03/2022 19:08

I had a sort of panicked whine/ Whimper/ cry and lots of 'I can't do it, please help me'
A few hours later, I heard a woman screaming a proper horror movie scream!!

Grasping · 05/03/2022 19:08

I was quiet

I did argue with the obstetrician though.
I was right, obviously

thewhatsit · 05/03/2022 19:08

@GreMay1

I was silent too. Honestly I have always wondered was others pain a lot worse than mine?

I swear by standing up and walking around to push though rather than getting on the bed.

I wanted to do it like that and even had a doula with me but I found the pain completely debilitating. I genuinely wanted to die. I didn’t care at all about the baby or myself, I just wanted the torture to end. My body went into shock when it was all over and I had to be revived. They didn’t let me hold the baby for a few hours.

That was my second. My first was not quite as bad but still too painful to be able to move around much other than hobbling to the loo with support on either side - (couldn’t even manage that second time). I think every woman’s body is different. My contractions were too strong both times and I had to be injected with something (Googling suggests it might be called terbutaline?) multiple times to try and calm down the contractions.

ParisLondonTokyoSlough · 05/03/2022 19:08

Silent for my first, screamed for my second. Not sure why any different but I was definitely in more pain the first time - I think I was in too much pain to scream or do anything - all I could physically focus on was the pain.

Hmum0fthree · 05/03/2022 19:09

I screamed as the head was coming out but I always remember the midwife telling my sister not to scream during pushing because she was putting her energy into screaming and not pushing!

Jconnais1chansonquivavsenerver · 05/03/2022 19:09

I gave birth "naturally", totally against my will, but they misjudged me and expected my labour to last a lot longer than the 3 hours it did from when my waters broke at home to when our baby was born in hospital, so the epidural arrived too late. I couldn't get the hang of gas and air so I shouted the place down. I gave birth abroad, and had to ask my husband to translate the obstetrician telling me: "Poussez, Madame!" (I'm bilingual in French). Not my finest hour as I screeched: "This feels as if I'm shitting a large brick whilst constipated."

MozzarellaMonster · 05/03/2022 19:09

Another mooer here first time round, second I'd done more work on breathing so less mooing but definitely some swearing, no screaming though that I can recall.

Buzzinwithbez · 05/03/2022 19:09

Was quiet the first time - probably down to diamorphine. Made up for it the second time. Roared the third time just as she was on her way out.

MrsCremuel · 05/03/2022 19:10

It was more a series of prolonged grunts and a few ‘aaaaahhhhhhs’.

I do find this a weird thread though, isn’t It obvious women do both?

cheapskatemum · 05/03/2022 19:10

YABU in that I'm pretty sure I made a lot of noise each time (4 labours). It helped me deal with the pain as the only pain relief I used was TENS machine.

mswales · 05/03/2022 19:10

I was pretty silent until the pushing stage then roared and mooed and all sorts of other animalistic noises that I was shocked were coming out of me but I couldn't control and also had to be at the maximum possible volume. Only lasted an hour and I think if I'd had a home birth it would have been much quicker