DP not affording date day

[toptrumpsyes]

On the whole my DP is lovely but I don’t know if I’m being unreasonable or not.

I’ve had a really rough few weeks and today DP said we can go for a nice lunch. I packed nice clothes for this when visiting him this weekend (we don’t live together). Next weekend he is going out for a meal and go karting with his friends and he has just bought a festival ticket too.

In fairness he doesn’t go out loads and he has had these planned a while. But also I know that if his friends asked him to get a takeaway etc he would.
He said he can’t afford to take us out today anymore and I do feel like a lot of the time we spend staying in and cooking and saving money. He’s been nice about it but I can’t help but feel like second best?

You get what you accept.

Go home he’s taking the p@ss

Tread carefully. It’s possible that he isn’t yet ready for 100% commitment. 🌸 Good luck

Sounds like a miscommunication which is now resolved.

But I'd be annoyed at being invited out for lunch and then being let down. It would be the last minute change of plans for no good reason that would annoy me, not the lack of lunch out.

Bit surprised at so many posters being sooo very grateful for any male attention and for breadcrumbs.

Go home again or go out with friends instead. If he can't make am investment on your relationship not worth it.

He sounds nice, OP. Please don’t listen to the massive overreacters who haven’t read your update!

@ChairCareOh

Why aren’t you paying 50:50?

For the same reason she hasn't Cancelled the Cheque...

FGS. Read the updates

Why are you saving for a deposit when you have only been together a year? Surely you should still be at the going out having fun stage?

@MRex

The message I see here is: don't try to date if you're poor, your personality isn't enough.

Is it that some of you can't earn much themselves so they need to know a man can provide for them?

No! No! Thrice No!

The message you should be getting is that you don't promise your SO a lunch of some description then tell her bluntly that you have planned a few jaunts with your mates and now can't afford a sandwich for her.

You don't treat anyone you like that way, let alone someone you are supposed to be in a loving relationship with.

It has bugger all to do with how much someone earns. It's about making sure you don't make someone you want sex from feels as though they don't matter unless they are in your bed!

@Skelligsfeathers not really the point of this post… does this matter?

If the saving is making you feel you are not his priority then chances of it working were you to move in together are pretty low. Put that on hold and enjoy getting to know each other more. Surely he can still save and keep his promises, it just may take a bit longer.

It does matter yes. Not having a social life because you are saving for a deposit is a big thing and implies certain things about the relationship and its seriousness.
If he is feeling that he is missing out on life and wants to have fun, it maybe that he doesn't want to make such big plans with someone he has known such a short time. Maybe if you slow down a bit, you will both get more if you want.