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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be annoyed by DH scoffing birthday chocolates?

193 replies

user1499609760 · 03/03/2022 09:33

It was my birthday earlier this week and as part of my gifts DH gave me a box of nice chocolates.

I opened them yesterday to have one with our post-lunch coffee (both WFH) and offered him one. He then asked for another, and another, while I only had one, trying to savour them. Then after dinner, he asked for more! I said one each and he got annoyed, saying it was offensive that I wouldn’t share with him. AIBU unreasonable to not want to share my birthday chocolates like this? I would always offer him one of anything I’m eating but he then takes more and more, so inevitably I end up with about one-third of the treats. Since he specifically bought them for me for my birthday, I think I should be able to say no. Or am I being massively petty?

(Mostly lighthearted, as I realise this is a microscopic problem in the wider context! Smile)

OP posts:
girlmom21 · 03/03/2022 15:23

@rainbowmash funny - I'm a size 12 and think everything's fine in balance. Obviously half a layer of milk tray in one sitting isn't a good idea every day but you've got to have a splurge occasionally, surely?

I don't understand people who think anything more than two small chocolates makes you a disgusting pig... that doesn't make me overweight or whatever your soft suggestion was

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 03/03/2022 15:26

People are allowed to eat their own chocolates any way they see fit. So you get over yourself

100% this!

phoenixrosehere · 03/03/2022 15:31

Moderation is a good thing but Jesus Christ you're allowed a little splurge on your birthday!

Yes and it is OP’s GIFT not her DH’s so she can choose to eat, share, and do whatever she chooses without her DH getting the hump because she won’t share her gift like he wants her to.

Hugsgalore · 03/03/2022 16:14

Quite the opposite in fact which is why I think arguing over some chocolate is fucking ridiculous.

People on here are so fucking precious about gifts and dragging the arse out of a box of chocolates is stupid. I bet the op is an absolute kill joy.

diddl · 03/03/2022 16:30

"People on here are so fucking precious about gifts and dragging the arse out of a box of chocolates is stupid. I bet the op is an absolute kill joy."

People are so hung up on it being chocolates.

It was a gift given to the Op for her to enjoy as she wishes.

PinkForgetMeNot · 03/03/2022 16:31

I'd probably tell him he can have half. Or if 3 in the family a 3rd etc

phoenixrosehere · 03/03/2022 16:35

*People are so hung up on it being chocolates.

It was a gift given to the Op for her to enjoy as she wishes.*

This. It’s the principle. You don’t buy a gift for someone and then be off with them because they don’t do what you want with it. What’s the point?

user1471538283 · 03/03/2022 16:36

I would be murderous! My bf will eat any kind of chocolate but I'm quite particular and it was your present.

PinkSyCo · 03/03/2022 16:46

I admit I can be quite greedy, but who only eats one chocolate at a time? Confused Saying this, after your DH had his 3 chocolates earlier in the day, he should have left you to enjoy the rest of them on your own in your own time instead of badgering you for more like a wee child.

diddl · 03/03/2022 16:57

@PinkForgetMeNot

I'd probably tell him he can have half. Or if 3 in the family a 3rd etc
Why?
LottyD32 · 03/03/2022 16:58

@PinkForgetMeNot

I'd probably tell him he can have half. Or if 3 in the family a 3rd etc
Why do you think your present should be split equally with all family members? Confused

It would be for you, not them, they don't get a stake or claim to it.

The martyrs are out in force on this thread, I bet they all give penis portions too.

Why would the man be entitled to his wife's present? Because he's so important he gets a share of EVERYTHING?

Would these posters expect the men to share their presents?

Fwiw, my dh wouldn't have any of something for me, I have to make him. We share everything though, except toffifees (his) and mcds chicken nuggets (me).

MurmuratingStarling · 03/03/2022 17:02

@SamphiretheStickerist

Give him the box. The whole box. Don't eat any more if them yourself. Then ask him if he liked your birthday chocolates.

He's a greedy, selfish man-child.

Sometimes you have to play childish with childish. So cut off your nose to spite your face and see what his reaction is.

But mostly, he is selfish and doesn't seem to mind showing it.

This. I don't care how 'petty' it sounds, this would really piss me off. I would be buying some more chocolates, and hiding them, and making sure he didn't get ONE.

What a selfish greedy pig! How horribly off-putting. Hmm

YANBU @user1499609760

MurmuratingStarling · 03/03/2022 17:05

@AnybodyAnywhere

My birthday was earlier this year. Our neighbour gave me a Cake the day before, just a supermarket one but a lovely thought and I was really touched 😊.

Just been diagnosed borderline T2 diabetic so given up sugar and wouldn’t eat it….in his defence DH knows this..but I was going to put it out on the table when friends came round for Birthday tea.

I woke up to this.

LTB! Immediately! Shock
stimpyyouidiot · 03/03/2022 17:12

@HailAdrian

Uh oh, another greedy husband SCOFFING everyone's food! Are you also 'teeny tiny' OP?
🤣🤣
MurmuratingStarling · 03/03/2022 17:15

@diddl

"People on here are so fucking precious about gifts and dragging the arse out of a box of chocolates is stupid. I bet the op is an absolute kill joy."

People are so hung up on it being chocolates.

It was a gift given to the Op for her to enjoy as she wishes.

This. ^ You can tell the entitled greedy feckers on here can't you? Grin

hides tube of pringles....... Shock

MurmuratingStarling · 03/03/2022 17:21

It's not just about a few simple chocolates though is it? It just shows a lack of respect and consideration from the OPs husband towards her.

Only an entitled greedy pig scoffs all his wife's chocolate that was a GIFT. It's rude and inconsiderate.

And no, I am not teeny tiny! (Wish I was!) But I would be royally fucked off with my DH if he did this to me.

The posters taking the piss out of the OP and dismissing this issue, clearly think it's OK to steal someone's gift. That IS what her DH has done. As I say, it may only be chocolates, but it's the tip of a deep iceberg, as it screams to me 'greedy selfish entitled twat.'

BeHappy91818 · 03/03/2022 17:25

It’s a bloody Chocolate. Who cares how many had.

Thank god I don’t live with some of the petty people on here crying and name calling over a few chocolates 😂

Hugsgalore · 03/03/2022 17:25

Jesus this place really is full of man haters. "Penis portion" massive fucking eye roll. No wonder the divorce rates are so high.

BeHappy91818 · 03/03/2022 17:26

@MurmuratingStarling

It's not just about a few simple chocolates though is it? It just shows a lack of respect and consideration from the OPs husband towards her.

Only an entitled greedy pig scoffs all his wife's chocolate that was a GIFT. It's rude and inconsiderate.

And no, I am not teeny tiny! (Wish I was!) But I would be royally fucked off with my DH if he did this to me.

The posters taking the piss out of the OP and dismissing this issue, clearly think it's OK to steal someone's gift. That IS what her DH has done. As I say, it may only be chocolates, but it's the tip of a deep iceberg, as it screams to me 'greedy selfish entitled twat.'

Stealing😂😂

MN is golden sometimes.

BeHappy91818 · 03/03/2022 17:27

@Hugsgalore

Jesus this place really is full of man haters. "Penis portion" massive fucking eye roll. No wonder the divorce rates are so high.
Totally agree… but if I was a man I wouldn’t want to be with any of the men haters on here. No wonder they have affairs and get a divorce.
Beamur · 03/03/2022 17:39

I love my husband very much but he can keep his sticky paws off my treats. He has plenty of his own.

phoenixrosehere · 03/03/2022 17:46

I love my husband very much but he can keep his sticky paws off my treats. He has plenty of his own.

Agree. I’d side-eye anyone who thinks it is ok to pout like a toddler because they weren’t allowed to have someone’s gift. Doesn’t matter what it is.

hamsterchump · 03/03/2022 18:05

Why would you assume only women share their presents in relationships where sharing is the norm! That's mental! Who would put up with that? We're not all doormats thanks.

Part of the reason why I'm happy to share any consumable gifts with OH is the certain knowledge that he will also willingly share his with me. This was just the default that we both expected and not something we had to train the other to do, I consider it good manners that should be taught in childhood to be honest.

We also both like sharing and eating/drinking whatever it is together and have no problem with the other one having some of what we have off our plates etc (also verboten here I suspect). It would just seem really weird to me to be sat there eating my chocs and not offer him some and vice versa I'd be really shocked if he didn't automatically offer his to me, it just wouldn't happen. It also just wouldn't occur to me to feel the need to sneak them somewhere so I could keep them all for myself.

It means we get more shares of nice things throughout the year. I'd rather have half a box of chocs/bottle of naice wine etc more times a year than a whole box/bottle fewer times. I'd actually rather share my consumable gifts, because it feels more of an occasion that way, we can try whatever it is and talk about it if it's new or fancy or just enjoy a pig out with a film or something together.

I don't plate any dinners up so I don't serve portions, penis or otherwise. If I make someone a sandwich, regardless of what I suspect their reproductive organs to be, I ask them how many slices of bread do you want? Then I make the requested number of sandwiches. I put dinners in serving dishes and we take what we want and usually ask the other if they want the last whatever item before taking it (if we both want it, we'll split it in half).

JunkIsland · 03/03/2022 18:05

People on here are so fucking precious about gifts and dragging the arse out of a box of chocolates is stupid. I bet the op is an absolute kill joy.

The thread contrarians are creating ever more extreme and baseless interpretations, I see. Op has been accused of miserliness, being a boastful ‘teeny-tiny’, lying and now being a killjoy. Posters have got annoyed that she’s not eating chocolates at an appropriate pace, and some clearly have taken against expensive chocolate (‘tastes like shit’, I hate people savouring posh chocolate, etc.). All because she’s none too happy at having her gift requisitioned.

Thread is both ridiculous and fascinating.

Heronwatcher · 03/03/2022 18:08

Nope he’s a greedy git. Quite apart from anything else him begging for chocolates like an overgrown Oliver Twist would give me the massive ick, completely unattractive.