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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To be annoyed by DH scoffing birthday chocolates?

193 replies

user1499609760 · 03/03/2022 09:33

It was my birthday earlier this week and as part of my gifts DH gave me a box of nice chocolates.

I opened them yesterday to have one with our post-lunch coffee (both WFH) and offered him one. He then asked for another, and another, while I only had one, trying to savour them. Then after dinner, he asked for more! I said one each and he got annoyed, saying it was offensive that I wouldn’t share with him. AIBU unreasonable to not want to share my birthday chocolates like this? I would always offer him one of anything I’m eating but he then takes more and more, so inevitably I end up with about one-third of the treats. Since he specifically bought them for me for my birthday, I think I should be able to say no. Or am I being massively petty?

(Mostly lighthearted, as I realise this is a microscopic problem in the wider context! )

OP posts:

girlmom21 · 03/03/2022 14:14

@CityHigh yeah but you're not talking about chocolates her husband bought for her, are you?

Deadringer · 03/03/2022 14:17

I thinking eking them out one at a time is a bit weird, we would have 2 or 3 minimum at a time, but no way should dh be having more than you, it's your present.

Eggs2022 · 03/03/2022 14:17

@Ohsugarhoneyicetea

I wonder how the dick panderers on here would feel if another woman treated them like this. Would you be perfectly understanding if you opened the birthday chocolates your girlfriend gave you and offered her one and took one yourself, she then helped herself to 3 more, and later on demanded more and sulked when you said you wanted to keep them for later. Would that be all fine for your friend to behave like that? I find it very unattractive.

I dunno why it’s coming down to being a ‘dick panderer’ or a man v woman thing, where you won’t say no to a man… I got my husband his favourite chocolates for Valentine’s Day, a week later my sister was over and we watched a film and ended up eating most of his chocolates - he came home and sent the rest of them home with my sister cos he knows they’re her favourite too. Under no circumstances did any of us think it was a massive deal. They were expensive, they weren’t replaced and my DH thought no more of it cos he knows they’re JUST CHOCOLATES and was glad we had a nice evening. That’s why I have no problem sharing anything with him, we just don’t see it as a big deal

Notjustanymum · 03/03/2022 14:18

I don’t eat chocolates unless they are really expensive (it’s a diet trick that I’ve mastered to avoid buying them unthinkingly) so if someone gives me a box of milk tray, the rest of the family know they can help themselves to as many as they like.
Woe betide anyone helping themselves to any gift that came from Charbonel & Walker though! I can make a box of truffles last for weeks as I treat the as a pure luxury.
So if OP’s chocolates were “her luxury”, she shouldn’t be sharing them with the person who bought them FOR HER, knowing that was the case (although it is nice to share - if someone other than DH gifted them only!)

CityHigh · 03/03/2022 14:19

[quote girlmom21]@CityHigh yeah but you're not talking about chocolates her husband bought for her, are you?

I didn't say I'd be confused if he wanted to save them for later. I'd find it a bit strange if I was only allowed 2 because he was 'savouring' them or because he thinks you have to moderate chocolate on your birthday. [/quote]
Why does it make a difference if he bought them? Him buying them doesn’t mean he can just eat her gift? If he thinks that then he clearly bought them for himself and not her.

Savouring them means to save them for later? It’s OPs birthday chocolate if she doesn’t want to eat them all in her birthday, presumably to stop her husband who thinks they’re ‘sharing’ her gift, then she should be able to do that.

Brefugee · 03/03/2022 14:22

Wtf, I don't know a single person in real life who would think someone wanting more than one chocolate is a repulsive pig.

don't be daft. He bought her a birthday present of a box of chocolates. She doesn't have to share them with anyone, but she has been sharing them, one for one so far, with him. But he has overstepped by a) asking for more and b) sulking at hearing a no.

I wonder if mumsnet was around when he was a child and his parents were some of those who never said no to their son. And this is where these idiots come from: they are badly brought up.
People should be asking their new boyfriends what their mum's (or dad's) mumsnet name is so they can check stuff like this.

Moonface88 · 03/03/2022 14:23

Going well and truly against the grain, but this wouldn't bother me whatsoever! Food isn't to be rationed out or savoured, everything gets scoffed in my house 😂 even if it's a present

girlmom21 · 03/03/2022 14:27

@CityHigh it makes a difference because as I said earlier he probably bought them as an 'extra'... for them to share...

Nobody rations boxes of chocolates like that unless they're really expensive.
Really expensive chocolates tend to either be shit or too rich to binge on.

phoenixrosehere · 03/03/2022 14:28

*Were they your only gift? If they were, fine, I get it.

If they're a little 'extra' then let's be honest, they were bought to be shared.

I'd be a bit confused if DP put the chocolates we were sharing away because he wanted to 'savour' or 'moderate'*

That’s completely irrelevant since they were a gift to OP and since it is her gift she has every right to do as she sees fit with it and that includes limiting how much she wants to give someone. Her DH could have bought a box for himself if he wanted to choose how many and often he liked.

Food gifts can be a treat/luxury for some because they wouldn’t often buy it for themselves for xyz.

I’d be confused why anyone thinks it’s nice or ok to buy a gift for someone you plan to use up more than the actual receiver. It’s not really a gift then.

girlmom21 · 03/03/2022 14:29

I wonder if mumsnet was around when he was a child and his parents were some of those who never said no to their son.

More likely that they're like OP and take part in competitive under-eating and only let him have one square of dairy milk every 7th Sunday.

rainbowmash · 03/03/2022 14:31

@Moonface88

Going well and truly against the grain, but this wouldn't bother me whatsoever! Food isn't to be rationed out or savoured, everything gets scoffed in my house 😂 even if it's a present

"Tee hee, I'm so low-maintenance! Pick me! Pick me!"

Hugsgalore · 03/03/2022 14:35

My god the responses here are making me laugh! It's a box of fucking chocolates!! Get over yourself. And also one chocolate at a time ffs! Are you trying to make them last until your next birthday

phoenixrosehere · 03/03/2022 14:37

More likely that they're like OP and take part in competitive under-eating and only let him have one square of dairy milk every 7th Sunday.

Or people know themselves and know that they struggle with certain foods in their home knowing they would overeat?

Why is that a bad thing? Why is that something to be mocked for? If it was someone who limited alcohol, would you say the same or is food “different”?

Whatever the case, it is OP’s gift, her property, and her DH is being worse than a toddler for sulking over something he could likely go out and buy himself but rather eat OP’s.

betwixtlives · 03/03/2022 14:38

@Hugsgalore

My god the responses here are making me laugh! It's a box of fucking chocolates!! Get over yourself. And also one chocolate at a time ffs! Are you trying to make them last until your next birthday

yeh this! i find it so cringe when mumsnetters describe ‘savouring’ their ‘very rich’ ‘luxury’ treats. Ugh I’ve just made myself shudder

TravellingFrom · 03/03/2022 14:41

@Hugsgalore

My god the responses here are making me laugh! It's a box of fucking chocolates!! Get over yourself. And also one chocolate at a time ffs! Are you trying to make them last until your next birthday

Everyone is different thoough.

My FIL used to eat one chocolate organge at the time and one "orange' would last months. His present, his choice.
DH is more likely to eat it whithin a day or so and looks at his dad . Again his present, his chpice.

why the need to be judgemental about how someone is eating their chocs??

Ohsugarhoneyicetea · 03/03/2022 14:42

People seem to be confused about the meaning of the word 'share' - it means to partake in an equitable portion - not gob down the lot while your friend/partner is still eating their first. That's not sharing, its gobbling, and I think its ugly.

AnybodyAnywhere · 03/03/2022 14:42

[quote KitKattaktik]@AnybodyAnywhere blimey are you married to a bear?[/quote]
@KitKattaktik

Pretty much sums him up…although bears are more cuddly 😂😂

There’s never a dull moment and although my friends and I often have a laugh at his expense he takes it all in good part.
He just loves food, especially things that aren’t good for him!….but he’s still slim 😒🤷🏻‍♀️

Comefromaway · 03/03/2022 14:43

When you don;t have much spare money then expensive chocolates are a luxure and yes, I do make them last.

My absolute favourite Fortnum & Mason biscuits I made last for a year. My Laderach & Venchi chocolates I make last 6 months.

girlmom21 · 03/03/2022 14:44

@phoenixrosehere

More likely that they're like OP and take part in competitive under-eating and only let him have one square of dairy milk every 7th Sunday.

Or people know themselves and know that they struggle with certain foods in their home knowing they would overeat?

Why is that a bad thing? Why is that something to be mocked for? If it was someone who limited alcohol, would you say the same or is food “different”?

Whatever the case, it is OP’s gift, her property, and her DH is being worse than a toddler for sulking over something he could likely go out and buy himself but rather eat OP’s.

It's just bonkers that people get upset over a box of milk tray once a year...

Moderation is a good thing but Jesus Christ you're allowed a little splurge on your birthday!

MrsPsmalls · 03/03/2022 14:54

@AladdinPrincess999

Sorry I had to giggle with this one. 🙈 Stop being so precious with a box of chocolates and just enjoy sharing. Sharing is caring and all that

Bollocks

50DaysAF · 03/03/2022 15:00

Lots of threads about greedy husbands/partners on here at the moment. Most unpleasant.
Just say no?! Or give them to him and get him to pay for another box for you.

rainbowmash · 03/03/2022 15:05

@girlmom21

I wonder if mumsnet was around when he was a child and his parents were some of those who never said no to their son.

More likely that they're like OP and take part in competitive under-eating and only let him have one square of dairy milk every 7th Sunday.

Looks like we've had a visit from the side of MN who call any attempt to limit sugar/junk food "an eating disorder". Same set who call anything under a size 16 "skeletal" and "bony", no doubt.

diddl · 03/03/2022 15:06

I'm surprised that so many seem to think that this is OK.

He has bought & given a gift.

Been offered some of the gift, which he took, but is sulking because he wanted more!

Nanny0gg · 03/03/2022 15:17

@Eggs2022

If it’s food then yea! Come on they’re chocolates imagine telling a grown man he can’t have another one cos they’re yours, when he was obviously enjoying them… him being called a greedy selfish man by other pps is such an overreaction

He allegedly bought them for the OP as a present.

As he was so keen on them, he should have just bought them for himself.

Why is it ok to take her present back when it's chocolates? Should he do that if it was jewellery? Or clothes?

In fact, why did he bother in the first place?

Nanny0gg · 03/03/2022 15:20

@Hugsgalore

My god the responses here are making me laugh! It's a box of fucking chocolates!! Get over yourself. And also one chocolate at a time ffs! Are you trying to make them last until your next birthday

People are allowed to eat their own chocolates any way they see fit. So you get over yourself

Maybe you're as greedy and selfish as the OP's husband?

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