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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To be annoyed by DH scoffing birthday chocolates?

193 replies

user1499609760 · 03/03/2022 09:33

It was my birthday earlier this week and as part of my gifts DH gave me a box of nice chocolates.

I opened them yesterday to have one with our post-lunch coffee (both WFH) and offered him one. He then asked for another, and another, while I only had one, trying to savour them. Then after dinner, he asked for more! I said one each and he got annoyed, saying it was offensive that I wouldn’t share with him. AIBU unreasonable to not want to share my birthday chocolates like this? I would always offer him one of anything I’m eating but he then takes more and more, so inevitably I end up with about one-third of the treats. Since he specifically bought them for me for my birthday, I think I should be able to say no. Or am I being massively petty?

(Mostly lighthearted, as I realise this is a microscopic problem in the wider context! )

OP posts:

TheChronicalTales · 03/03/2022 11:54

being annoyed it wasn’t 50/50

Also if my husband bought me a box of chocolates for my birthday and ate 50% of them I would be annoyed. How is it a gift if he’s going to eat half of them?

EuphoriaHigh · 03/03/2022 11:59

The man is your husband 😂 surely you’d like your husband and be happy he’s enjoying himself??

I do share with and like my DP. I would and do offer him some chocolates. But he also recognises that gifts belong to me. Being married doesn’t mean you can’t have anything that’s yours anymore, what an absolutely miserable way to live.

How far should I extend this? If I come home with a sandwich for my lunch and he eats it should I be happy he’s enjoying himself and not be annoyed he’s eaten what’s mine? I guess it doesn’t matter as long as the man is happy?

Comefromaway · 03/03/2022 12:00

@Eggs2022

Do you not like your husband or something?Why can’t he have the chocolates he’s enjoying just because their your ‘bday’ ones? Are you 5

Because the OP would actually like some chocolates left for herself seeing as they were supposed to be HER birthday present.

Namechangeroo1234 · 03/03/2022 12:10

Lol my dh did this with some Valentines choc ate all the good ones. I told him that was shitty. However, he did buy me a better box of chocs next day and said he wouldn't eat any to make up for it

Thenose · 03/03/2022 12:21

I always end up with a fifth of mine because I see the kids' little faces and become unreasonably charitable. However, I think you're right: they're yours, and it's up to you whether you give him ten, one or none. It was very rude of him to pressure you to give him more than you offered. If I didn't offer, DH and the kids wouldn't ask except for perhaps a glance at the box and a raised eyebrow. If I said I was keeping them for myself, they'd accept it graciously. I'd be embarrassed if they started haranguing me for them, and if DH criticised me for not giving him more than I was comfortable offering, I'd be reluctant to offer him anything at all.

I mean, ^^this all sounds a bit serious when we're talking about chocolates, but you get my drift.

Sweetpeasaremadeforbees · 03/03/2022 12:30

Usually it's a taste & then further offers are greeted "with oh no its your gift you have them"

This^

The sulking is just pathetic.

And yes what on earth happened to the cake in that photo?! It looks like it's been mauled by a savage dog.

Billybagpuss · 03/03/2022 12:39

@AnybodyAnywhere

My birthday was earlier this year. Our neighbour gave me a Cake the day before, just a supermarket one but a lovely thought and I was really touched 😊.

Just been diagnosed borderline T2 diabetic so given up sugar and wouldn’t eat it….in his defence DH knows this..but I was going to put it out on the table when friends came round for Birthday tea.

I woke up to this.

Do you not own a knife? It looks like it’s been attacked by a ravenous hoard.

LizBennet · 03/03/2022 12:42

Nah that's not on 😐 You can't buy a food item as a gift and expect half/most of it (unless you say it's to share).

RoastedFerret · 03/03/2022 12:46

@HailAdrian

How do you put up with these greedy, repulsive, gorging, scoffing pigs 😂

Really he is a greedy, repulsive, gorging scoffing pig' because he wanted to eat more than one chocolate in a sitting? Wtf, I don't know a single person in real life who would think someone wanting more than one chocolate is a repulsive pig.

autienotnaughty · 03/03/2022 12:52

@hamsterchump patronising much??

autienotnaughty · 03/03/2022 12:57

@Satingreenshutters

This is such a non issue. Buy another box of chocolates. I never understand this non sharing shite. No they are MY chocs, no only ONE each, SAVOUR them...life is too short for that crap, it's a box of bloody chocolates.

Buy another box and hide them under your bed, do a tuck and roll into your bedroom when you fancy one and shove it in your gob when you are on the ground, chew fast before he sees you and come out like nothing happened.

Why should she?

JunkIsland · 03/03/2022 12:58

Some bizarre justifications for the husband on here. I got some very expensive chocolates for Christmas from my dp, which I love but would never dream of buying for myself. They’re definitely something you receive as a present. If be gutted if he’d eaten more of them himself that I got as once they’re gone, they’re gone.

Also haven’t seen the op imply she’s ‘teeny tiny’ anywhere!

YvanEhtNiojYvanEhtNioj · 03/03/2022 13:01

Does he just know he's not allowed any so doesn't ask
Great, except he did ask for a chocolate and was given multiple. This was all after op had willingly shared a chocolate.

Your hyperbole and your lack of reading comprehension is embarrassing.

Original poster

user1499609760 · 03/03/2022 13:04

I’m definitely not teeny tiny! I would put away a box of chocolates no problem, but I try to enjoy them & make them last, and because it’s probably better for me to be moderate…

OP posts:

Ohsugarhoneyicetea · 03/03/2022 13:05

I wonder how the dick panderers on here would feel if another woman treated them like this. Would you be perfectly understanding if you opened the birthday chocolates your girlfriend gave you and offered her one and took one yourself, she then helped herself to 3 more, and later on demanded more and sulked when you said you wanted to keep them for later. Would that be all fine for your friend to behave like that? I find it very unattractive.

LottyD32 · 03/03/2022 13:10

@AnybodyAnywhere

My birthday was earlier this year. Our neighbour gave me a Cake the day before, just a supermarket one but a lovely thought and I was really touched 😊.

I woke up to this.

Wtf, did he eat it by just taking bites? No hands? 😂

SamphiretheStickerist · 03/03/2022 13:11

@Eggs2022

If it’s food then yea! Come on they’re chocolates imagine telling a grown man he can’t have another one cos they’re yours, when he was obviously enjoying them… him being called a greedy selfish man by other pps is such an overreaction

Imagine being the person who buys someone a treat for their birthday specifically because you would enjoy more of it than they would.

ANameChangeAgain · 03/03/2022 13:14

@SoberSerena

We share everything in our home. If dh has a nice box of chocolates or I do, then we share. Gorging yourself on someone else's birthday present is greedy though. If we've have a couple or more then the box goes back in the cupboard before our next chocolate binge session.

Is a couple of chocolates really a "binge" to you, or were you using hyperbole for comic effect? Genuine question as humour doesn't always translate into text

Odd question, but I'll answer. No, a couple doesn't constitute a binge to me. To paraphrase Op said they had a couple in the day, which I what I would have done, then I would have saved the rest for a binge later. (when I said next chocolate binge session I meant after the Christmas one, not the two chocolate one!) We don't have chocolate often, but when we do we'll have a layer with the children whilst watching a film.

girlmom21 · 03/03/2022 13:22

Were they your only gift? If they were, fine, I get it.

If they're a little 'extra' then let's be honest, they were bought to be shared.

I'd be a bit confused if DP put the chocolates we were sharing away because he wanted to 'savour' or 'moderate'

lockdownhasbrokenme · 03/03/2022 13:25

@hamsterchump
It is up to the person who receives the gift to decide how much they want to share or not.
Rather than saying mumsnetters are controlling you could say that many on Mumsnet live on a budget and can't afford to have their husband eat as he pleases, what might cost £2 for 2 bags of biscuits for pack lunches for 2 children lasting a week soon becomes much more once you've had to re buy those 2 bags and then more add to that if the same happens with crisps, cheese strings etc plus add in travel costs, finding the extra time and current food production issues all because a grown man can't use self control. Or are we expected to just magic up the extra money from thin air.

To be annoyed by DH scoffing birthday chocolates?

KitKattaktik · 03/03/2022 13:30

@AnybodyAnywhere blimey are you married to a bear?

SartresSoul · 03/03/2022 13:32

Obviously bought them for himself.

jackstini · 03/03/2022 13:32

YANBU

I only like dark chocolate and usually ask for a small box of a specific brand I love

I only eat one every couple of days as a special treat as they are expensive and very rich

DH would polish the box off if I didn't hide it - even though there is loads of other chocolate (that I don't eat) in the house

Generally up for sharing everything - but if it's one box of 10 or so very indulgent chocolates given as a gift, they're mine!

diddl · 03/03/2022 13:52

"DH would polish the box off if I didn't hide it - even though there is loads of other chocolate (that I don't eat) in the house"

What is that all about I wonder?

CityHigh · 03/03/2022 14:11

@girlmom21

Were they your only gift? If they were, fine, I get it.

If they're a little 'extra' then let's be honest, they were bought to be shared.

I'd be a bit confused if DP put the chocolates we were sharing away because he wanted to 'savour' or 'moderate'

You’d be confused if your partner put their birthday chocolates away because they didn’t want them to be eaten in one go? Really?

I’ve just bought my friend an expensive box of her favourite chocolates. I’ve also bought her a necklace (it’s a big birthday). If she wants to share them with her DP then that’s absolutely fine as it’s her gift and her decision, but my intention when I bought them was absolutely not for her to share them as an ‘extra’. If she told me he was eating them as she was trying to put them away I’d be annoyed, because I didn’t buy them for him.

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