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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be jealous of how my friend is raising her daughter?

529 replies

woodenstuck · 27/02/2022 14:29

My best friend is a single mum to an 8 year old girl. I have 4 children, all boys, and a husband. I love them all dearly and wouldn't change them for the world but I was round at my friends this morning for a coffee and I can't help but feel a pit of jealousy when I am with her and her daughter.

Their house is so cosy and girly and they have an amazing relationship, almost 'banter'. The daughter respects her mum and they genuinely belly laugh together. They're always spending time together, going days out at the weekend. My friend just seems to have a stress free and enjoyable life.

I love my boys but I have 4 of them and work full time (friend is at uni and supported by her parents) as does my husband, so it's hard to spend time with them all individually so I guess I don't have that close close bond I see my friend has with her daughter. All they do is fight and bicker and I have other things to be getting on with at the weekend so days out are few and far between.

Being in their house this morning, everything is so calm and quiet and happy and she can sit in peace in the kitchen and enjoy her coffee and read her book or just genuinely enjoy her daughters company. I feel like the way she is raising her daughter she is already a lot more mature than her age and I worry I am doing my boys some sort of disservice.

It's making me feel resentment towards my friend. Like when she says she's stressed with uni work I just want to scream because I'm like you don't even know the meaning of stress! Her life seems serene.

I don't know what I'm asking really I just needed to Vent I suppose.

OP posts:
georgarina · 03/03/2022 18:43

@Ted27

sorry *@Lookingforphev that should be for @georgarina*
@Ted27 that's great for you. I know I was an only child of a single mother until I was 9 and while there were good things, and my friends would say they wished they lived at my house, I was also jealous of my friends with big families. And I'm sure the opposite for them. So I can only speak from my experience. You clearly do not look at anyone else's life with envy which is excellent.
JackieWeaverHandforthCouncil · 03/03/2022 19:07

Don’t know why people are trying to make the OP feel better by fake pitying single mothers with one child? I have two single mother friends. Both had only children (boys) until the kids were in their teens and had great, close relationships. One met a new man and went on to have two additional kids and wishes she’d stayed at one and the other stuck with one and has a fantastic relationship with her son who’s now in uni.

Unless the OPs going to reveal she has quads, nobody forced her to have 4 kids. She doesn’t sound like much of a ‘friend’ either.

Brocoleavin · 14/10/2025 14:12

Bebeschitt · 27/02/2022 14:39

That 8 year old will be 14 soon.
14 year old girls are vicious.

All of them?! Eek

Brocoleavin · 14/10/2025 14:32

SalsaLove · 27/02/2022 14:52

I can’t believe that someone who chose to have 4 children would actually complain about not having a peaceful life. That’s not what you signed up for.

What if the second child turned out to be triplets?! It’s not always a choice.

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