Adult DC ended up in hospital after night out...AIBU?

[Athenea]

DC (early 20s) went out this week. Didn't come home - which isn't unusual, sometimes crashes at a mates house.

In the morning I get a call from DC, who's in hospital. No idea how they got there, last memory is being in the pub very drunk around 11.30pm, then woke up/ came to in hospital around 5am. Lost their phone (a member of staff kindly allowed them to use their device to call me).

DC eventually made it back from the hospital about 10.30am. Spent most of the day sleeping. Fine now except clearly fell over as cuts and bruises on their face (looks like they've faceplanted something rather than been assaulted or in a fight thankfully). And financially worse off as lost their phone and now have to replace it.

Since lockdown DC has been out a few times and come home in a state but never anything as bad as this.

My partner thinks I should take a firm line and that this is really worrying behaviour, DC clearly doesn't know their limits with alcohol and this is dangerous. At the same time I've got other family saying well it's what young people do...and DC's friends in their group chat are all 'typical you' 'you're such a liability 🤦‍♀️😊' etc. I have explained to DC how upset I was they ended up in hospital - when I got the call in the morning I was nearly sick it made me so anxious - but I don't want to go overboard. I do think it's given DC a wake up call anyway, and I don't want to make it worse.

AIBU not to read the riot act? Or how would you deal with it?

There’re one-off accidents, and repeated heavy binge drinking.

DH had the former (hit by a car), me the latter, but no accidents.

IMO the latter is a big concern.

[quote worriedatthemoment]@OneMoreHobnobPlease happened to my dh we think years ago , he had only Had a couple of pints then suddenly lost control of his legs and just really bad
I had drunk way more than him and was fine , he went from normal to bad really quickly [/quote]
It all seems to happen so quick, and I believe people are injected now too.

I disagree with you, @PriamFarrl: This is what you said:

“I’ll ask the doctor and see what they say”
“You are spending the weekend with your cousin, where do they live?”
“We are meeting the new teacher tomorrow, I wonder if they will be friendly”
“I wonder if that person knows they left their lights on”.

It’s easy enough to cope with “they” for a single person.

I disagree with this because in all but one of these instances you don't know what gender the person is. The only weird example you gave is the cousin one. You'd know their gender, there's no way you'd "they". The doctor example: unless it's a practice with only one GP then you say "they" because it could be anyone in the practice.

Id be pissed off that they got to that state and couldn’t maintain safe decision making skills. How many young folks have we lost to senseless accidents due to being inebriated. So many missing after a night out and found in canals etc

Round my area we had a young lad die of hyperthermia after a big night out - took a shortcut home across fields. Middle of snow storm. Found 2 days later.

And if they or their friends are that pissed and folks are disappearing off - who knows if they’ve left with someone after having a drink spiked? My son had this happen to him and luckily his friends spotted and stopped the older man trying to lead him out the club.

Have a word. Explain your worries. No rants needed.

I think you need to sit down and talk to them calmly and be very open and just chat and see what they have to say. Lots of us got drunk in our teens but did not end up in hospital but one girl always got so drunk that always was incidents that were over the top and to this day she drinks loads. What are they drinking, if it is spirits then that could explain it as when the fresh air hits them then the blackout. Talk to them and ask them to stick to bottles of beer or something and to drink the first few slow as really does make a difference and to eat a good meal before going out. So many are taking cocaine and drinking or smoking a joint and that is what conks them out. Very worrying and does not help when others say that they did the same. I hope he listens and understands that it is not normal to end up in hospital. Has the pub got no idea, can you not talk to someone there or ask the hospital who rang the ambulance. Hope chatting to them sorts something out.

To The Catterall that must have been awful to hear about and lucky his friends looked after him. Such a shame that people have to be watching their drinks as predators around. We always looked after each other but then again was 30 years ago and did seem safer.

@CurlyhairedAssassin

I disagree with you, *@PriamFarrl*: This is what you said:

“I’ll ask the doctor and see what they say”
“You are spending the weekend with your cousin, where do they live?”
“We are meeting the new teacher tomorrow, I wonder if they will be friendly”
“I wonder if that person knows they left their lights on”.

It’s easy enough to cope with “they” for a single person.

I disagree with this because in all but one of these instances you don't know what gender the person is. The only weird example you gave is the cousin one. You'd know their gender, there's no way you'd "they". The doctor example: unless it's a practice with only one GP then you say "they" because it could be anyone in the practice.

I wouldn’t know the sex of your cousin. If we were having a conversation and you said that you were going to stay with your cousin then I would ask where they live as I don’t know their sex.

All I’m trying to say is that it’s perfectly normal to use they for a single person when you don’t know the sex. In the case of the op’s child we don’t know the sex.