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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Sent a naughty pic and it went wrong! AIBU?

279 replies

OhMygodddd · 25/02/2022 21:38

Name changed for this, I think I might have humiliated myself! 🤦‍♀️

So I sent a suggestive photo to my fwb, however it is still all new, 1 month and we’ve only hooked up 3 times so far. The photo was from the knees down, wearing black high heels and a lacy thong hanging of the end of one of my heels. His response was “is that you?”

Ouch! Not the reaction I though I was going to get if I’m honest and I’m feeling a little embarrassed and rather awkward now.
I said it was me, it’s not going to be someone else is it with a laughing emoji , and he just sent the laughing emoji back… would you find that response humiliating? I think I need a new fwb already 🤦‍♀️

OP posts:
Winky1 · 27/02/2022 18:12

I would have responded well to your picture

keeptheaspidistra · 27/02/2022 18:16

I'm not a heterosexual male, but I'm not sure I'd find that pose a massive turn on or that interesting. I'm not sure how I'd view it. It's not classy sexy. It's not slutty sexy. It's a bit odd. Unless he has an ankle fetish...

TheMagpie · 27/02/2022 18:19

Don't send unsolicited photos of that nature. We women get unsolicited d**k pics and rightly complain about it, then some of you turn around and do the same thing right back to men and make it look okay.

planet11 · 27/02/2022 18:21

think we need to see the photo, to be sure....asking for a friend...lol..!

howmanyways · 27/02/2022 18:21

Doesn’t sound like a sexy photo to me. In what way is hanging your pants off your shoes sexy? Men need a much more obvious message than ‘ my knickers have fallen off and got stuck on my heels’.

Mummyoflittledragon · 27/02/2022 18:21

You have great legs and that could be a stock photo. It was hardly revealing and idk if it was sexy, more suggestive. I think it would depend on the man. Loving some of these pics.

Supertree · 27/02/2022 18:22

I don't think sending a non-nude, suggestive photo to somebody you're having regular sex with is the same as receiving unsolicited dick pics tbh.

Balldog · 27/02/2022 18:23

I think you need to grow up before you do something seriously stupid!

OnlyAFleshWound · 27/02/2022 18:25

@Mummyoflittledragon

You have great legs and that could be a stock photo. It was hardly revealing and idk if it was sexy, more suggestive. I think it would depend on the man. Loving some of these pics.
It was a stock photo. Those aren't her legs. Confused
Associatepeggy · 27/02/2022 18:27

@Mummyoflittledragon

You have great legs and that could be a stock photo. It was hardly revealing and idk if it was sexy, more suggestive. I think it would depend on the man. Loving some of these pics.
It is, isn't it?

Or have I got confused?

OMG13 · 27/02/2022 18:27

Suggest you just let it go and put it down to experience! He’s probably either a) confused b) doesn’t know how to respond c) clueless!
You’ve done nothing wrong and I’m sorry you feel embarrassed, sounds like you’re quite invested in said man emotionally which is making you vulnerable, despite what you say….Just look after yourself, please. 🤗

TheMagpie · 27/02/2022 18:29

@Supertree A supposedly 'sexy' (sensual/sexy intent) photo sent without consent is indeed similar to a lewd photo sent without consent. The only difference is just how explicit.

Owl55 · 27/02/2022 18:38

Perhaps he thought a mate had sent it as a joke ?

Nocutenamesleft · 27/02/2022 18:41

Oh bless

That’s a really tame photos though. Maybe he couldn’t really tell it was your legs. They all look very similar. Lols. I couldn’t tell a pic of my legs from a big group. Haha

LemonJuiceFromConcentrate · 27/02/2022 18:43

I'm not sure what your long term life goals are or how this helps you meet them.

Grin

This could apply to so many things on mn, I love it.

StargazerAli · 27/02/2022 18:44

Next time you see him, just apologise and say you sent it to the wrong person. You sound a bit more exciting than him, so have the upper hand. Don't worry.

Annabell46 · 27/02/2022 18:57

Don’t worry about it
I sent a bikini shot of me lying on a bed like a page 3 girl. Close up of my Boobs to my ex and put look what you are missing
He didnt reply!😬
You have had sex with him so really the barriers have come down! He could have replied better! Most men love that sort of thing

Summerfun54321 · 27/02/2022 18:58

Cringe. Wondering what the male equivalent of that photo would be and how I’d respond if someone sent it to me.

Fluff3 · 27/02/2022 19:01

Ummm, sounds more than a fwb relationship to me. Arent fwb only meant to meet up have sex and then go their seperate ways and not contact each other ?, to stop each other getting emotionally involved. Thats how it was for my friends with such arrangements anyway. They dont tend to send suggestive photos. I think thats probally why he reacted like he did, a bit shocked amd didnt know how to react because its more than what he baragained for. Are you sure he is just a fwb and you are not emotionally involved with him?. I am not suggesting for 1 minute that there is anything wrong with this, aslong as he wants and feels the same way as you, and he isnt married or with a long term gf. I would suggest sitting down and finding out where you stand. Most men would be delighted with such a photo. Good luck

Mfsf · 27/02/2022 19:02

I’m no prude by any stretch of the imagination but I admit sending this sort of pic makes me cringe and that would probably be a reaction I would have as I would not be comfortable with it ?
Don’t discount him yet , unless this sort of thing is very important to you in a relationship off course , but he may just not be comfortable with communication this way ?

Mfsf · 27/02/2022 19:03

I find it cringe myself . And that would be the sort of reply I would send I guess

WiseMitera69 · 27/02/2022 19:10

Great example you're sending your kids.
This is how grooming girls start by sending pics.
You realise that any photos you send remains on the servers.

HangOnToYourself · 27/02/2022 19:19

@WiseMitera69

Great example you're sending your kids. This is how grooming girls start by sending pics. You realise that any photos you send remains on the servers.
Oh no...an anonymous and fully clothed foot is out there for all to see. The horror.
Lovemusic33 · 27/02/2022 19:19

Some people on here are taking this far too serious…..she has slept with this guy several times, it’s not as though she’s sending a complete stranger a picture of her legs? Unlike the 1000’s of men who send cock photos to random women, it was meant to be a bit of fun between 2 people who f*ck each other. He obviously thought it was a random stock photo because her face wasn’t in the photo or he’s a bit of a prude and not into that kind of thing but then you would have thought OP would know what he’s into.

WisherWood · 27/02/2022 19:22

We women get unsolicited dk pics and rightly complain about it, then some of you turn around and do the same thing right back to men and make it look okay.

Your ankles don't equate to someone's dick though. You can walk around showing your ankles to people, you'll get into trouble if you walk around with your dick hanging out.