Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2 ··· 7 8 9 10 11 12

Original poster

WWYD- BIL has ‘spoiled’ dh weekend away

285 replies

LoveDaisy · 25/02/2022 12:33

DH’s brother surprised him a few weeks ago with a weekend stay following an outdoor event that will take up most of the day. It was so they could have some quality time away and as gift for dh, he paid for mostly everything. His brother had booked it for a weekend where Dh and I was supposed to celebrate an anniversary so, we changed dates so he could go on the trip. For context, Dh absolutely deserves some time away for himself, so no issue with the trip itself although the timing was off, I was ok changing the dates for him.

Dd was teething this week and ended up with a nasty cold which has meant little sleep for us all. I’ve now caught her cold on top of the infection I have which I’m antibiotics for. So I’m feeling like I’m on my knees trying to push through. But now dh has called to say he is disappointed in his brother… as he has booked tickets for their nephews too (their sister’s children age 3 &4) and had no intention of telling dh! It slipped out and Dh is now saying the vibe of the whole trip has completely changed. It’s not quality time, it’s baby sitting for a weekend. Nephew (3) is not potty trained and they both have never stayed away from their parents. Brother in law has a tendency to do this kind of thing 🙄
With myself and dd sick and the two toddlers attending, Dh is torn as he wants to cancel but his brother has spent a lot of money. The trip is for this weekend and dh has only just found out now, despite his brother booking over a week ago.

OP posts:

BuyDirt · 27/02/2022 12:23

There's no point in bothering with forums at all unless you assume some kind of good faith.

But people are not bad for not updating, most likely just busy or just can’t be bothered, the problem went away or........
Even when they post on a forum, it doesn’t actually make it your business. I assume many threads are made up, because they are.

BuyDirt · 27/02/2022 12:25

It just makes the site more interesting if there aren't lots of abandoned threads. It's not just this one, there are loads. There has to be some level of engagement to make the site worth using. Even if it is all made up bollocks like most of the internet

Some of the best threads are where OP has only posted once or twice and all sorts of crazy posts are made. It’s light entertainment in most cases.

ClariceQuiff · 27/02/2022 12:32

But people are not bad for not updating, most likely just busy or just can’t be bothered, the problem went away or........

No, not bad - just discourteous.

Even when they post on a forum, it doesn’t actually make it your business.

I disagree - by asking for advice on a public forum, they are making their problem the 'business' of forum users who respond.

In real life, if you'd had a long conversation about your selfish BIL or whatever, and the next day the person you'd talked to asked whether you'd managed to resolve the problem, most people would consider it rude and odd if you replied 'That's none of your business.'

BuyDirt · 27/02/2022 12:43

But it’s not real life and you don’t know the person and that makes all the difference. And in real life, if someone asked for my opinion one day and said they didn’t want to talk about it the next, I wouldn’t say it was rude, no. In fact if they didn’t bring it up, I’d assume they didn’t want to talk about it. I’m not a nosy person, I don’t feel like I need an ending to every situation someone talks to me about. The people I know that do, are gossips and like drama. That’s not for me.

We don’t agree which is fine, I prefer my thinking on this.

ClariceQuiff · 27/02/2022 12:51

Yes, I think we'll have to agree to differ.

WallaceinAnderland · 27/02/2022 12:57

It's not real life but it is a mildly entertaining pastime to engage with people on 'real life type scenarios'. That is the purpose of the site.

If every thread fizzled out with no engagement from the OP then people would stop using the site because it's boring. Fortunately for MN, there are enough threads to keep people at least mildly interested. But all I am saying is that it's becoming so common that I tend to check OP's contribution before engaging because they often don't post again and generally turn out to be very dull threads.

There are exceptions, as you say, where the thread takes an amusing turn. And, of course, there are people posting in places like Relationships, Bereavement, etc. where support is freely given and really valued and no one would expect anyone to update.

whynotwhatknot · 27/02/2022 15:20

Did he go op? maybe shes too tired too post or too embarrassed because the man actually left her to look after his nephews instead of his own kids

Tigger1895 · 27/02/2022 18:55

@Teeturtle

Perhaps he thought it would be nice to spend time with the nephews?

I cannot imagine myself cancelling something because I found out my young niece was attending.

Re read

Tetchy · 28/02/2022 10:39

I would expect DH to cancel , he has babysitting to do at home !🤔

TempName01 · 28/02/2022 15:58

Regarding the OPs not updating, I agree it’s frustrating in the same way as if you miss the last episode of a tv show. It’s just nice to know the outcome! Hoping this OP will be back 🤞🏼

Flip

1 2 ··· 7 8 9 10 11 12