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To ask my husband to make his own lunch?
167

Nevertimeforcake · 24/02/2022 12:12

In this new post covid (ish) era I assume I'm not the only woman now sharing her house 7 days a week with her other half? He works full time and does this from home now most days. I also work from home but do around 10 hours so very much part time hence why I do 90% of household chores and parenting. Up until now I've always made lunch for us both but I'm beginning to get a bit fed up with having to come up with something to make and making it each day. Most days this is fine but on busy days I'd rather just have a piece of toast and crack on. How do I get him to stop expecting to be served lunch every day or better still make lunch for me occasionally?! If I left him to his own devices he'd have beans on toast 5 days a week - he appears to have no idea what else to eat!

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MyCatEatsPrawnCrackers · 24/02/2022 12:14

Let him have beans on toast every day then Confused

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Snowdon564 · 24/02/2022 12:17

Let him have beans on toast then, why is that a problem? (Your not his mum)

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Arabellla · 24/02/2022 12:20

Let him have beans on toast.

Don’t let him guilt trip you.

He’s have to sort his own lunch at work so he sorts it at home too.

You are a SAHM / PT worker, not his house keeper.

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SprigofSage · 24/02/2022 12:21

Ooh OP I so feel for you 😂 I don't know the answer, apart from maybe incrementally lowering your standards or sometimes I make it sound like DH is doing me a huge favour by 'sorting himself out' or cooking us lunch and then he will fall over himself to help - men crack me up. I appreciate he works like a Trojan to give us a nice life so I don't mind but sometimes I'd just like an apple and a packet of crisps for lunch 😂😂

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ISmellBurnings · 24/02/2022 12:21

So let him have beans on toast. Let him get on with it.

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billyt · 24/02/2022 12:21

I work from home full time at the moment and I manage to sort my lunch myself . Even though my OH is home as well at the moment.

I'm a big boy! I even manage to get stuff from the shops as well Grin

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negomi90 · 24/02/2022 12:21

Give him what you're having. If that's a piece of toast then so be it. If he complains, smile sweetly and direct him to the kitchen.

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Hotcuppatea · 24/02/2022 12:21

Why do you give a crap about what he eats for lunch? Would you be thinking about it if he was working out of an office full time?

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PeskyRooks · 24/02/2022 12:22

Yes what they said!

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Glowinglights · 24/02/2022 12:22

What would he say if you just tell him that from tomorrow he needs to sort his own lunch?
It’s up to him what he chooses to eat, not your responsibility.

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ibblebibbledibble · 24/02/2022 12:23

What’s wrong with him having beans on toast every day?

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GalesThisMorning · 24/02/2022 12:24

If you dont want to make a cooked lunch for another adult every day (I wouldn't) then you also can't police what the other adult chooses to put in their own mouths! Why do you care what he eats for lunch?

DH and I both work from home. Whoever gets their lunch first will generally check in with the other - I'm making tuna mayo, want some, there's some leftover pasta on the side if you want it, etc... if there is time. If not, we each sort ourselves out. That is what most adults do.

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pinkyredrose · 24/02/2022 12:25

You're both working from home and i bet your hours are a lot longer than his if you're also doing 90% of house and kid stuff. Given that then why doesn't he make lunch every day?

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Koalaslippers · 24/02/2022 12:26

I make mine and DS lunch, DH makes his own. Occasionally we make each others but most of the time we just sort ourselves out on working days.

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GalesThisMorning · 24/02/2022 12:27

@SprigofSage

Ooh OP I so feel for you 😂 I don't know the answer, apart from maybe incrementally lowering your standards or sometimes I make it sound like DH is doing me a huge favour by 'sorting himself out' or cooking us lunch and then he will fall over himself to help - men crack me up. I appreciate he works like a Trojan to give us a nice life so I don't mind but sometimes I'd just like an apple and a packet of crisps for lunch 😂😂

Why do you make it sound like your husband is doing you a favour when he manages to feed himself?!??!!?

These insights into other people's lives are why I keep coming back to mumsnet. I dont know a single person who does that
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namechange30455 · 24/02/2022 12:27

So sometimes you just want to have some toast and crack on, but think it's somehow not good enough for him to make beans on toast?

Yeah, I don't get it, sorry.

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ChazzaGirl · 24/02/2022 12:28

Agree with PPs, just give him what you’re having or tell him to help himself from whatever’s in the fridge!

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OnlyFoolsnMothers · 24/02/2022 12:29

sure he'll navigate this way ok through the perils of sandwich making, or leftover heating- not your job!

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TurdCrapley · 24/02/2022 12:32

My DH has always worked from home and I've been a SAHM for 3 years. I think I've made him lunch a handful of times😂just let him make what he wants, why do you care?🤷‍♀️

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AnyFucker · 24/02/2022 12:32

Don’t ask, tell

Stop treating him like one of your children

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kitty1993 · 24/02/2022 12:35

I'd probably just be really honest with him and explain that you feel since wfh that the responsibility of making lunch every day has fallen to you and that you'd be happier if he could make his own lunches. He can't argue with you for being honest about how you feel. If he gets annoyed about it then that's his problem. At the end of the day he's an adult and needs to respect your wishes if you say you don't want to do something for him anymore.

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moose62 · 24/02/2022 12:36

why do you feel it is your responsibility? My husband is working from home, I work full time (not at home) and somehow he manages to feed himself! He is an adult....

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PeacefulPrune · 24/02/2022 12:37

Why not let him have beans on toast? You just want toast some days.

My dp makes his own lunch on Sunday for Mon to Thursday. He freezes the Thursday one and the rest just go in the fridge.

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Quartz2208 · 24/02/2022 12:40

If I am making something exciting or interesting I do made DH lunch but otherwise we do our own thing - which for him 80% of the time is marmite toast and peanut butter sandwich. It is fine for him to have beans on toast and for me to have soup

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MunchyMonsters · 24/02/2022 12:42

I'm having 'such and such' do you want some? If not grab whatever it is you fancy.

Or tell him from now on he will be making his own lunch.

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