To ask my husband to make his own lunch?

[Nevertimeforcake]

In this new post covid (ish) era I assume I'm not the only woman now sharing her house 7 days a week with her other half? He works full time and does this from home now most days. I also work from home but do around 10 hours so very much part time hence why I do 90% of household chores and parenting. Up until now I've always made lunch for us both but I'm beginning to get a bit fed up with having to come up with something to make and making it each day. Most days this is fine but on busy days I'd rather just have a piece of toast and crack on. How do I get him to stop expecting to be served lunch every day or better still make lunch for me occasionally?! If I left him to his own devices he'd have beans on toast 5 days a week - he appears to have no idea what else to eat!

My dh is home for lunch every day. Due to my working pattern I am mostly indoors during the day too. This has been so for the last 30 years.
We sort ourselves out. If he's making an interesting looking sandwich I might say ooh make us one too. If I'm making a nice smelling soup he might say I'll have a drop of that with you. But mainly we sort ourselves out.
I'd never bother telling him what's in the fridge unless there's something about to turn and I want him to eat it.

It is self service breakfast and lunch in this house on work days.

I do most of the cooking in my house, we both prefer it this way. When the first lockdown happened I automatically started making us both lunch. This got old very quickly. He now makes his own lunches and is responsible for adding whatever he wants to eat for them to the shopping list. He does eat really boring/simple things but that's his choice.

I wouldn't tell him to just look in the fridge though. Tried that and he's likely to pick something which (to me) is quite obviously for a meal. Like a pack of salmon fillets or something.

@Arabellla I think discussing it beforehand is a great idea, particularly if @PainterMummy does the weekly shop and is the main cook. If people just look in the fridge and take what they fancy, they might unknowingly use something that’s earmarked for an evening meal, etc. If everyone has input to the shop and knows XYZ are their lunch provisions, things run more smoothly. And she doesn’t go to make dinner and discover that she’s out of something she needs at the last minute.

I want to see the dessert trolley

[quote Sweetlikejollof]**@Arabellla* I think discussing it beforehand is a great idea, particularly if @PainterMummy* does the weekly shop and is the main cook. If people just look in the fridge and take what they fancy, they might unknowingly use something that’s earmarked for an evening meal, etc. If everyone has input to the shop and knows XYZ are their lunch provisions, things run more smoothly. And she doesn’t go to make dinner and discover that she’s out of something she needs at the last minute.[/quote]
That's sort of what I said earlier. I just shove a note on the ridge door with roughly what's for dinner each night and what foods are their as lunch provisions. Might just be a list or might include some suggestions.

Now that it's mainly just DS1 and I in for lunch I don't do a lunch list so much as he's pretty much aware of what things i buy in based on what we like and he can see from the dinner list whether something is likely to be for dinner. He also has a tongue in his head so can ask if the sausages are ok to have for lunch and DH will do the same when making his lunch up the night before.

It's not about hurting feelings or whatever, just simply communicating that lunch is self service unless otherwise indicated. It was obviously be common curtesy to give someone a shout if you've made a pot of soup so thy could grab some while it's hot but you don't need to butter their bread and present them with it.

I hate it when people give hints as I often don't pick up on it! Just be clear. I'm not making lunch for you anymore as it disrupts my day or whatever your reason is. If you like cooking maybe just make a nice lunch one day but leave him to sort himself out on other days. Noone needs to 'crack' - just get on with your day!

@BinBandit Totally agree.

kept woman

Christ I've heard it all now.

Where is she kept? In a cupboard? Does it have a portal back to 1932?

I'm sorry you married a man without hands....

Huel is our work from home lunch solution. It's tasty and nutritious and takes 1 min to make

If I left him to his own devices he'd have beans on toast 5 days a week

Leave him to his own devices. We cook dinner together and have lunch separately, so we have something to talk about at dinner.

Be out around lunchtime. Find something that keeps you out of the house from 11-2 for a couple of days in a row, and leave it up to him to sort out.

You don't need to make your husband's lunch each day, you can do it only when you want to.
You work, do majority of housework and childcare and mental work/PA for children.
He has two arms and two kegs and can make his own lunch..

However if you want to be helpful :-

1. Buy in some fruit and banana

Get a blender Tell him to make smoothies for much when he fancies it (milk + fruit including bananas) Tell him he clears up his own meds before end of lunch break

1. Buy toastie Maker

Let him make his own toastie He can clear it up afterwards

1. Buy in cup of soups or pot noodles, he can just add boiling water from kettle

His problem. Maybe introduce him to cheese?

(Seriously?)

Stop being such a bloody sook. Go buy a couple dozen prepared meals and stick them in the freezer, and take one out each night before you go to bed. Problem solved.
And if you don't like looking after the guy you married, then piss off.

Jeeeeesus! Incel called and wants @Sunriseboy to get back in their box!

@Nevertimeforcake - You are entirely wishing your rights to have a life of your own. You are not a series of functions and features designed to facilitate a happy life for another human being. They have to also consider returning the favour also.
May I suggest you start by asking “What’s for lunch?” when he has his morning tea. (Assuming he makes that himself….) Then put in your order. Mine started walking into the room and bellowing “If you’re not busy, would you mind…” and asking me to “just pop out and get” while I was in the middle of lectures, etc. He thought that because “He was on lunch” he got to sit and relax for an hour and twiddle his thumbs and food would magically appear. Didn’t happen once.

Send him to wherever he used to get his lunch. Greggs or pret or Tesco.
Even the staff canteen his own fridge.
No way would I put up with that. He's probably quids in too.

@Sunriseboy

Stop being such a bloody sook. Go buy a couple dozen prepared meals and stick them in the freezer, and take one out each night before you go to bed. Problem solved. And if you don't like looking after the guy you married, then piss off.

You cannot be serious?

You are setting up a pattern here. It will be seen as normal for you to make daily lunch. Do you make lunch at the same time each day? Does your husband need instructions on how to make a sandwich? Leave him to do his beans!

how the fuck is he supposed to make his own lunch with man hands?

@negomi90

Give him what you're having. If that's a piece of toast then so be it. If he complains, smile sweetly and direct him to the kitchen.

No don't!!!!

Let him do his own.

Both my husband and I work from home. I do my lunch and he does his!

@Nevertimeforcake

Maybe I'll invest in a toasty machine too!

No!!!!

Let him sort it out if he wants one. Stop doing things for him!

@PainterMummy

My DH is also WFH. We discuss the night before what we’re doing the next day. What time he’s breaking for lunch. If I’m out, I tell him and advise what is in the fridge for lunch

When I sit down to plan weekly food shop, I ask him what he would like in the week for lunch and I tell him what I’ve planned for dinners, ask if he any special requests. I don’t make lunch for our DD if she’s working from home, but I do ask her what she’d like me to get in for her lunches (she takes food to work if she’s going in to the office).

Works very well. I’m under no obligation to make anyone lunch and they can have what they’ve asked for. I’ll also often make extra dinner so it is in the fridge next day for lunch if someone wants it.

Communication is key. Just talk to him.

Does he plan meals too?

haven't had baked beans in ages - I want them for breakfast now

@PrincessNutella

how the fuck is he supposed to make his own lunch with man hands?

I know. Plus a man brain incapable of thinking about all the food available and deciding which of it he may like for lunch and man eyes so he can't look at food in fridge and cupboards and distinguish between ingredients that could be turned into a meal for the entire household and something that may be more suited to lunch for one person.

So what if he mainly has beans on toast? It's quick, cheap, reasonably healthy, can be stored long term without refrigeration. He could do a lot worse, eg pot noodles or be spending a tenner a day that they don't have in Pret etc.

DH is an adult so makes his own lunch. It’s the same everyday (tuna mayo sandwich). That’s his choice.