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Original poster

To ask my husband to make his own lunch?

167 replies

Nevertimeforcake · 24/02/2022 12:12

In this new post covid (ish) era I assume I'm not the only woman now sharing her house 7 days a week with her other half? He works full time and does this from home now most days. I also work from home but do around 10 hours so very much part time hence why I do 90% of household chores and parenting. Up until now I've always made lunch for us both but I'm beginning to get a bit fed up with having to come up with something to make and making it each day. Most days this is fine but on busy days I'd rather just have a piece of toast and crack on. How do I get him to stop expecting to be served lunch every day or better still make lunch for me occasionally?! If I left him to his own devices he'd have beans on toast 5 days a week - he appears to have no idea what else to eat!

OP posts:
Vasectomyreversalhopeful · 24/02/2022 12:43

Just let him have beans on toast every day then. I do most lunches for DH as I am a SAHP of a school age child but if I am out or just don't do it he will happily make himself something. I don't interfere with what that is though, he is an adult and can make that decision for himself.

WouldIwasShookspeared · 24/02/2022 12:44

Let him make beans on toast then.

DameHelena · 24/02/2022 12:46

@SprigofSage

Ooh OP I so feel for you 😂 I don't know the answer, apart from maybe incrementally lowering your standards or sometimes I make it sound like DH is doing me a huge favour by 'sorting himself out' or cooking us lunch and then he will fall over himself to help - men crack me up. I appreciate he works like a Trojan to give us a nice life so I don't mind but sometimes I'd just like an apple and a packet of crisps for lunch 😂😂
oooh, silly men, aren't they funny Hmm

OP, leave him to eat baked beans if he wants to. He's a grown-up.

Skyeheather · 24/02/2022 12:46

I'm a SAHM, I make lunch for DC and myself, DP wfh and makes his own. He eats the same thing for lunch everyday, that's nothing to do with me, he's a grown man quite capable of coming up with some variety if he wanted.

The only exception is if I'm making something hot like cheese on toast or bacon rolls, then I'll ask DP if he'd like some.

Just tell him to get his own in future!

gingerbiscuits · 24/02/2022 12:47

So let him have beans on toast every day then - he's not a dependent child.

My husband works FT from home & I'm out working 4 days per week - on those days, I sort myself out a packed lunch & have no idea whatsoever what he has for lunch - there's food in the house, he's a grown man & his office is 10 steps from the kitchen!

On the day I'm home, I tell him what I'm having for lunch, ask if he wants the same & am happy to make 2 portions if he does. If he doesn't fancy what I'm having then he sorts himself out - I have shit to do on my day off & I'm not running a cafe!!

Presumably your lunch is not your main meal of the day, so toast, a sarnie, salad, soup, omelette etc is more than sufficient & quick/simple to prepare.

HerbivorousRex · 24/02/2022 12:47

Is it an option to make extra the night before so he can have leftovers for lunch (and just heat them up when he’s hungry).
I’m currently studying so on days when my DH works from home I offer to make him a portion of whatever I’m having for lunch (usually salad, sandwich, soup, omelette, pasta or toastie), it’s not any extra effort to make 2 portions. But if he doesn’t fancy what I’m having, if I’m out, or if I decide to skip lunch and just have a snack then he sorts himself out (he’ll also make something for me if he gets hungry before I’m ready to take a lunch break).
Ultimately he’s a grown man, surely just saying ‘I’m busy today can you sort lunch out’ or ‘I’m just having toast and fruit but there’s stuff in the fridge if you want to make yourself something else’ is enough!

JofraArchersFastestBall · 24/02/2022 12:48

My husband has a cheese toasie every day, I had no idea I should be concerned about that. Sometimes I join him (and either one of us makes them) often I fancy something else, so make that.

Op. If you've been making various lunches for your partner for two years then he has a good idea of the options available to him. If he thinks it's worth his own time to make them, he will. If not, he's happy with beans.

Somanysocks · 24/02/2022 12:51

Dunno but I now fancy beans on toast for lunch.

SpiderVersed · 24/02/2022 12:51

Of course he can make his own lunch - that did he do when he worked outside the home?

CointreauVersial · 24/02/2022 12:51

Just tell him!

I make lunch for DH 90% of the time (we both WFH 3-4 days a week) but mainly because it's convenient if I'm making it for myself.

But every now and then I'll want something he wouldn't eat, so I tell him that's what is on offer, and if he doesn't fancy it, he's on his own. And somehow he doesn't starve. As long as we have supplies in the fridge he's perfectly capable of sorting himself out.

whynotwhatknot · 24/02/2022 12:52

If me and dh are both home we get our own lunch-just disappear at lunchtime he'll get the hint

PinkSyCo · 24/02/2022 12:52

Surely you ‘get him to stop expecting to be served lunch everyday’ by telling him that from now on you will not be serving him lunch everyday. Confused

godmum56 · 24/02/2022 12:54

@PinkSyCo

Surely you ‘get him to stop expecting to be served lunch everyday’ by telling him that from now on you will not be serving him lunch everyday. Confused
this
TheOrigRights · 24/02/2022 12:56

Have you discussed the issue with him? What behaviour or language from him has led you to ask "How do I get him to stop expecting to be served lunch every day"?

The answer to this may help us with a suitable approach.

Scbchl · 24/02/2022 12:57

How strange, if you want toast throw some beans in the microwave and give him beans and toast if he is happy to have it or just say im only having toast can you sort your own lunch please.

MyCatEatsPrawnCrackers · 24/02/2022 12:58

@Somanysocks

Dunno but I now fancy beans on toast for lunch.
😂😂
newnameforthis76 · 24/02/2022 13:01

Surely your DP can make himself a sandwich?!

DP and I both work from home full-time. We’re not cooking up meals for each other at lunchtime. If one of us is mad busy and can’t get a break the other one will offer to make them something, or occasionally if one of us fancies something that wouldn’t be worth making for just one person, we’ll have something together. But usually we both just grab something when we’re ready and it’s almost never anything that requires more effort than an omelette.

If you’re making something for yourself, make that for DP too. If you’re not, he can make himself something. Beans on toast is a totally fine and normal lunch, so I’m not sure why it would be a problem for him to have that, but he could also have sandwiches, eggs on toast, make a quick cheese omelette, heat up some soup or whatever. If you’re that hung up on him having a hot meal he could just get some single portion ready meals to keep in the fridge/freezer and stick them in the microwave for himself.

Mumsnut · 24/02/2022 13:03

We go to M&S every weekend and stock up on delicious nibbly things. Then we both just help oursleves.

nearlyspringyay · 24/02/2022 13:05

Why can't he have beans on toast every day, I eat the same lunch pretty much every day. I used to have the same sandwich when in the office and now have the same sandwich at home.

Suprima · 24/02/2022 13:09

@Nevertimeforcake

In this new post covid (ish) era I assume I'm not the only woman now sharing her house 7 days a week with her other half? He works full time and does this from home now most days. I also work from home but do around 10 hours so very much part time hence why I do 90% of household chores and parenting. Up until now I've always made lunch for us both but I'm beginning to get a bit fed up with having to come up with something to make and making it each day. Most days this is fine but on busy days I'd rather just have a piece of toast and crack on. How do I get him to stop expecting to be served lunch every day or better still make lunch for me occasionally?! If I left him to his own devices he'd have beans on toast 5 days a week - he appears to have no idea what else to eat!
‘ If I left him to his own devices he'd have beans on toast 5 days a week - he appears to have no idea what else to eat!’

So let him?

Why are you martyring yourself?

00100001 · 24/02/2022 13:09

"If I left him to his own devices he'd have beans on toast 5 days a week"

...so?

are you his mother?

CaptSkippy · 24/02/2022 13:10

If I left him to his own devices he'd have beans on toast 5 days a week - he appears to have no idea what else to eat!

Let him starve. You have enough to do without adding an adult baby into the mix.

AryaStarkWolf · 24/02/2022 13:11

@AnyFucker

Don’t ask, tell

Stop treating him like one of your children

........
Sirzy · 24/02/2022 13:11

“I’m having x for dinner today. Want me to make you some or are you sorting yourself?”

Shouldn’t be tough surely

bubblesbubbles11 · 24/02/2022 13:13

OP please leave your other half and come and marry me and make me a hot lunch every day :) :)