To ask my husband to make his own lunch?

[Nevertimeforcake]

In this new post covid (ish) era I assume I'm not the only woman now sharing her house 7 days a week with her other half? He works full time and does this from home now most days. I also work from home but do around 10 hours so very much part time hence why I do 90% of household chores and parenting. Up until now I've always made lunch for us both but I'm beginning to get a bit fed up with having to come up with something to make and making it each day. Most days this is fine but on busy days I'd rather just have a piece of toast and crack on. How do I get him to stop expecting to be served lunch every day or better still make lunch for me occasionally?! If I left him to his own devices he'd have beans on toast 5 days a week - he appears to have no idea what else to eat!

Stop being a servant and buy your husband a cookbook.

Does he ever make you lunch? Dinner? Anything?

I'd make double if I'm cooking otherwise leave him to his own devices.

Sometimes he will have any leftovers from last nights Supper .Other times he will just pop some fish fingers or BB on toast! I dont know why you have to think up ideas for lunch though! Surely its enough to think of Dinner options . He is a grown man ,surely if he wants BB 5 days a week thats OK ! (Gosh he might even go made with cheese on toast or a jacket potato!

Here are some phrases I use with my husband. Note them down and practice them:

"Have you got any ideas for lunch today? I'm out of ideas." (If the answer's "beans on toast" then great - once or twice a week won't kill you, and it's one of your 5 a day).
"I'm just having a slice of toast for lunch today, so if you want anything it's easier if you just come and get it yourself."
"Would you have time to make lunch for us both today? I'm going to be too busy to make it." (If the answer is yes, I'm too busy, that's fine, you'll both just grab a slice of toast and a banana).

It doesn't have to be a big deal. If he wants beans on toast every day for himself then so be it, he's a grown up, he can eat what he likes.

My DH I mean! He just helps himself !

What did he do for lunch when he didnt wfh? Buy a sandwich, ready meal, toast?
Just tell him to crack on with it ...

Another one here who has had beans on toast for lunch

What they all said. When you've achieved that, you'll be practiced enough to move on to dinner.

Because I bet you're one of those women who always cooks big meaty 'man meals' when you'd happily just have some soup or a bit of salmon and veg?

With cheese and pepper on top though ?

Wtf

Whilst he is making just beans on toast ask him to do you some.

Does he ever cook for you/for the family or does he expect you to organise all the food related decisions?

My DH always has a cheese sandwich for lunch because he likes it and he’d make me one at the same time, if I wanted it, but I rarely eat sandwiches. He tends to make DS a toasted sandwich if he’s at home. So not dissimilar to your beans on toast comment, I think. He’d happily make you something he likes to eat, but there’d be no variety?

How’s your communication skills? If I want DH to do something specific, then I’ll spell it out very clearly rather than make passive hinting type comments.
So “please will you make me some toast with butter on, when you do your lunch today?” rather than “ I fancy toast for lunch today”. If you said the second sentence, I’d assume you were saying out loud what you were planning to do.

he appears to have no idea what else to eat

I never understand how people can be like that. Don't they look in supermarkets, recipe features in the weekend papers, takeaway and restaurant menus, on TV, social media etc etc thinking 'that looks nice' and mentally add it to something they will eat one day?

There's an overwhelming amount of choice of food available. No-one could possibly have 'no idea what to eat'.

Maybe he really likes beans on toast OP?

DH and I both WFH and very rarely make each other lunch, mostly because I like to eat at bang on quarter to 12, whereas he sometimes forgets until 1 or 2. He did just come back from the shop with cookies for me though :D
Just make him what you're having or he can make his own.

We just help ourselves and we eat at different times. I cannot believe lunch is treated like a big thing and a duty. We don't skivvy round each other and have stupid expectations. It's 2022!

"I'm having toast and a banana. Would you like the same or are you going to get yourself something else?

It doesn't need to be anything more than that.

Make him a sandwich with laxatives as a surprise ingredient! Don't think he'll ask again 😆

Why does there have to be any discussion about lunch?

All these women saying they make lunch for their husbands because they're making it for themselves anyway. If he made lunch for you, you wouldn't have to!

I have the same thing most days I’m at home as I can’t be arsed to think of anything else. I’m still alive

@Somanysocks

Dunno but I now fancy beans on toast for lunch.

Me too, except I have just realised they were on my phone reminder list and I didn’t check it when I whizzed through Morrison’s . I did buy some daffodils though, so today my lunch will be a spiritual contemplation of the glories of spring.

I've been on maternity leave until recently. Dh has been working from home. Not once have I offered to make him lunch. It honestly never occurred to me to do this!

DH and I have been living together and sharing the cooking for well over half a century.

I make mine lunch but I'm making the baby and myself something so it's just polite really. If he's making himself something before we're ready, he'll always ask if we want him to make more and leave some for us. We are just considerate as we're both in the house.

@JofraArchersFastestBall now I want a cheese toastie 😋

@Nevertimeforcake

In this new post covid (ish) era I assume I'm not the only woman now sharing her house 7 days a week with her other half? He works full time and does this from home now most days. I also work from home but do around 10 hours so very much part time hence why I do 90% of household chores and parenting. Up until now I've always made lunch for us both but I'm beginning to get a bit fed up with having to come up with something to make and making it each day. Most days this is fine but on busy days I'd rather just have a piece of toast and crack on. How do I get him to stop expecting to be served lunch every day or better still make lunch for me occasionally?! If I left him to his own devices he'd have beans on toast 5 days a week - he appears to have no idea what else to eat!

Errr, you say 'I'm bored of making your lunch, make it yourself from now on.' Job done surely.

Do you think maybe he's posting somewhere about just wanting be allowed to eat beans on toast for lunch without his wife making a performance out of it?

He's your husband- have a conversation with him!

Well is he actually asking you to make his lunch everyday, or have you just taken it upon yourself because you don't deem toast and beans an acceptable lunch? (Yet you just want a bit of toast )