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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to want to study some more?

234 replies

Swedes2Turnips1 · 02/01/2008 23:39

I am a Bachelor of Laws and have a postgraduate journalism qualificaton. I also have 4 (very lovely) children: 5 months, 2 years, one just joined senior school and one about to sit GCSEs. I really fancy studying philosophy. Would it be terribly selfish?

OP posts:
pinkyminky · 03/01/2008 00:36

I was wondering how that works with OU. I did my MFA part time at the local Uni- it made it easier to pay for and mix with work. Not sure how the cost compares with OU.

hatwoman · 03/01/2008 00:37

in one sense it isn't a great deal different to gym bunnies. but the fact that when I stared out dh and I had several real heart-rending conversations/debates/rows that were part of adjusting to our new schedule, that led in one case to me walking out, sitting by the river in the middle of the night crying my heart out about life, my dreams, my kids, my relationship, indicates that it was perhaps something a little bit more important than a label with the word bunny in it might imply. thankfully we were able to talk our way through it and reached a very happy understanding.

pinkyminky · 03/01/2008 00:38

Sorry, I'm talking about tutorials, not mortar boards!

ShinyHappyPeopleHoldingHands · 03/01/2008 00:41

Didn't GO to your ceremonies Pinky??! Why why why???!!!

I just want to wear one for the photo really.. and God I will NOT burn it however horrific I look. (I may not hang it if I look that horrific which is a possibilty but I will keep it forever and ever to prove to myself that I WAS "university material" after all! And that I did it through all those terrible beastly years with SN DS being terrible and beastly and not letting me sleep hardly EVER.. although no doubt he'll still be being terrible and MORE beastly by then.. )

ShinyHappyPeopleHoldingHands · 03/01/2008 00:42

As you can note, I am rather obsessed with unimportant details.. .. bear with me, I'm just an undergraduate..

pinkyminky · 03/01/2008 00:43

Because I have terrible self-esteem issues, basically. I'm working on it. I regret lots of things like this and would definitely go now.

ShinyHappyPeopleHoldingHands · 03/01/2008 00:45

Oh Pinky.. I do to actually, but I think attending my ceremony will help with that!

Anyway, the ceremony's not really the important bit is it.. that's just me being pedantic. Nobody can take away from you what you achieved.

RosaLuxMundi · 03/01/2008 00:49

I am starting my second year of OU - and taking on the full 120 points. I think that is slightly different from being a gym bunny.
I am doing it because after five years as a SAHM I want to change direction, I can't find work where I am living now anyway but MOST OF ALL for the sheer enjoyment of using my brain again and studying a subject I have always loved. The discipline of studying at degree level (and I have already got one degree)is so very, very different from just reading around a subject that I can't see how you can really suggest that they are in any way comparable.

pinkyminky · 03/01/2008 00:50

That was the excuse I made to myself, but you were right in the first instance, I believe. Get your whole family there, with a big banner with your name on it, then go for a meal or have a bit of a party. These things are very important, too.

Niecie · 03/01/2008 00:52

I think it is lovely to go to the ceremony as it marks the end of your course and all that effort. I went to my ordinary degree ceremony in my 20s but I didn't get a ceremony for my post-grad conversion with the OU and it was a bit of an anti-climax in the end. I will definitely go to the MSc one (if I ever get there). It is good for my boys to see that mummy has achieved something even if they don't understand what it is all about.

DH didn't wear a mortar board at his OU graduation btw. It is a shame but the gowns are good!

ShinyHappyPeopleHoldingHands · 03/01/2008 00:55

Who mentioned gym bunnies first anyway??! I can't find it in order to judge the context!!

I am a OU student AND a gym bunny; they're not mutually exlusive to my knowledge...

RosaLuxMundi · 03/01/2008 00:59

It was Quattrocento. I am feeling a bit precious about 'my studies' at the moment clearly

pinkyminky · 03/01/2008 01:03

I would consider going to the gym a real achievement. I've tried those keep fit classes but I always seem to go right when everyone else is going left...I stand at the back. I'm not big or anything, just not very coordinated!

ShinyHappyPeopleHoldingHands · 03/01/2008 01:07

Ah! Well ALL of mine is funded by "someone else" (that'll be the government so you guys ) but I'm not learning to arrange flowers and I DO have a long term objective.. and that's to get the hell out of this situation I'm in and earn a decent wage to support my (bloody government-fund draining. ...and I'm not kidding ) family!

ShinyHappyPeopleHoldingHands · 03/01/2008 01:09

Pinky, gym is probably for you then.. you don't have to "co-ordinate yourself" at the gym.. you just bung in your iPod. get on with it and ignore everyone.. And they ignore you.. it's really NOT like that Eric Prydz video...

ShinyHappyPeopleHoldingHands · 03/01/2008 01:10

(Which is all lycra, legwarmers, heaving breasts, bulging biceps and smoldering looks, in case you are too cultured to know.. )

pinkyminky · 03/01/2008 01:18

Self betterment has to be a worthwhile goal, regardless of who pays for it, or whether is makes you rich.
Having said that, education is a great way of helping your family situation, as you put it. As I mentioned before, my DH's SIL worked her way up. She left school with nothing, and has studied her way into a good career. It is very hard work and you deserve all praise and support.
What would the detractors prefer that the 'husband's money' (i'm really not happy with this distinction) was spent on?

pinkyminky · 03/01/2008 01:21

I think I may have to try this 'gym' thing you speak of.. But the video sounds a little risque

Vacua · 03/01/2008 01:22

Am a huge believer in no education ever being wasted, irrespective of it making a direct contribution to one's career or earning capacity. Just don't think we're alive for long enough not to do what inspires or fulfils us really.

pinkyminky · 03/01/2008 01:31

I agree, Vacua. A shame if you just do your Ba at 21 then think learning is over, I think.

bamamama · 03/01/2008 04:23

Another OU devotee here. I'm doing the post-grad diploma in psychology and although I have a long term plan I think that all further education is a good idea, esp if you're older and take it seriously. My dh is a philosophy lecturer and when I tell him what I was like as a student the first time round he just despairs. No one should be allowed to do a degree until they're at least 25. I love studying now - then it was an excuse to leave home and sit in the students union for 3 years. (wish I'd thought of my career plan 20 years ago though)

kama · 03/01/2008 09:20

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

lucyellensmum · 03/01/2008 09:57

tellusmater, i have biochem degree too, and PhD, considering PGCE in september, um, there seems to be a pattern emerging - please tell me you only have 2 children.

couldnt find the gym buddy comment, but i did used to set up my experiments and then bugger off to the gym for a few hours - is that what they mean?

lucyellensmum · 03/01/2008 10:10

ah, now i have found the gym bunny comment i feel i have to address it.

Firstly, most bachelors degrees are funded by student loans or self funded (i am correct aren't i?). Secondly, many post-graduate degrees are self funded, however it is EXPENSIVE, so hardly hobby material. Thirdly, if you have ever done a degree/post-grad qualification you will appreciate that unless you are a genius with a loop hole in time, that "hobby" can turn into something extremely stressful and hard work, this is multiplied by a factor of one million and four when you have children as well. Most importantly, the criteria for achieving a PhD (and masters i think) is that the fisnished research "contributes a significant and totally new contribution to knowledge". In fact, much, if not most of the "basic" medical research carried out in this country is undertaken by post graduate students.

I do understand where the resentment regarding funding arises though, as i have heard of some research programs that i think are pretty useless and a waste of public money, when this money could be available for medical research or social research etc. However, funding comes from relevant government bodies and often charities set up to forward their particular research areas.

Of course, for some, being a gym bunny is a serious commitment, i would imagine paula radcliffe spends a fair amount of time in the gym, and dame kelly holmes, all making a significant contribution to the community as a whole.

hatwoman · 03/01/2008 10:30

bamamama - so true your comment about age. I too came to the conclusion that undergrad degrees are wasted on 20-year olds .