DH has suggested division of childcare/housework unfair...

[ooooopsididit]

Just that really!

DH works full time, from home until recently, but is now back in the office two days per week.

I am a SAHM of two nursery age children.

Both children are at nursery four half days and one full day per week.

DH and I split the morning get up and ready routine, and bedtime routines between us.

The housework is also split about 50/50, although I do more cooking and all laundry.

I also do all lunchtime pickups of DC.

For the complete picture I do have a little cleaning job of about four hours a week, but I could give that up if I wanted the extra time back.

I thought this was fine but DH his just said he thinks it's a bit unfair... I suspect he may be right.

AIBU to expect this to be fine
YABU to split this way as he works full time

Again, the dh isn't getting nothing from this arrangement - he gets to go about his life knowing that his wife has childcare covered and never has to leave work cos the kids are sick or to get to nursery on time or turn down after work drinks or waste his leave on childcare. There's pressure to being the sole earner, no doubt but there are also elements which relieve pressure. OP didn't impose this on him - presumably he sees the value in having his kids looked after by their mum and not in paid childcare

@ooooopsididit sounds like you have a strong marriage with open communication, good for you! As a fulltime working parent (my dh currently not working) I do all morning routines, homework support, as well as all bedtime routines. These are NOT chores. If I didn't do them my boys would never see their mum. I rubbish at cooking so dh does that (inc food shop and meal planning) but I do breakfast and packed lunches. Housework is a tad inflammatory at the moment as we both feel we are doing more than the other. But we'll work it out.

I can understand that some will find it odd I have a cleaning job. That's understandable.

The reason I do it is because it's flexible, there isn't really anywhere to volunteer near us, and it gives me a chance to have an adult conversation with someone other than DH.

Not everything is about the money or what makes sense to everyone else. My cleaning job could just as well be an office job. I do it to have some social interaction with people other than my family.

@ooooopsididit no the division of housework 50/50 is not fair! Your DH works full time while you seem to have a lot of time on your hands with both children in daycare everyday either for half or full day... what do you do with all your spare time ?

They aren't both in daycare at the same time though except for the 1.5 days. She usually has one with her.

I would leave things the way they are. I am a Sahm with 3 young children. I do everything for 5 years now. Slowly as the years went on he did less and less. Now he does zero apart from cooking maybe once or twice a week(usually if he fancies something different to eat himself). The truth came out one day as he said I'm at home all day he said it is my responsibility to look after the house and all I have to do all day is to bring the children to school. I am burnt out at this stage. He said he is looking after us all (bring in money). So sorry I gave up my job when he said that even if the money I earned would go on child care. I feel sad about my situation and you can't change someone's mindset. I just have to keep on top of everything for children/school or the house would be a tip as well. Just some advice from my situation. If you give an inch some take a mile as the saying goes.