Okay to stay out when married?

[LalaOIOI]

So there's a situation with DH which I'm not sure whether he's unreasonable or not or whether it sounds a bit controlling/ what other people are comfortable with.

Basically he isn't really a go outer, he's much more introverted than me. I go out a lot more than he does with friends out into town or local for drinks things like that.

Some of my friends live a decent 20-30 min taxi ride away and so sometimes if it gets quite late (or early in the morning!) I'll think I'll just stay at my friends on their sofa or something. However whenever I suggest this to DH he is never happy about it and thinks I should come home regardless of the time. He really doesn't like the idea of me staying out. Whilst he'd never tell me I couldn't do it, I know he'd be in a bit of a huff the next day if I do.

Now I know it's a little bit of a sore subject as this is exactly what his ex wife did, told him she was staying with a friend and was actually having an affair so I can understand why it makes him a bit nervous. But I'm not her and I feel like he should trust me now. We've been married for 3 years together for 6.

Should I just do what I want in this respect or should I make sure I'm home every time I go out?

Whether you stay out overnight, or not, should have nothing to do with whether you're married. It should be about whether you want to do it, if it's more convenient, easier, safer, appropriate.

Your relationship status shouldn't be a factor.

The number of women (not men, WOMEN) on here that shame other women for having the temerity to want to spend an evening in their friends company and, wait for it, stay over.

Holy fucking shit.

Yes, @Bookworm20, that is my attitude to relationships if you want to be blunt. I think it’s a shame so many women think having a partner = always putting yourself second.

I make it clear to whoever I date that I like my life the way it is and won’t be changing anything, and I see a relationship as an added bonus, not something I’m going to sacrifice my independence for. If they don’t like that I’d rather they didn’t date me.

I do wonder if anecdotally there's a correlation between age you got together and attitude to this. Obv not completely as op was young when she got with her partner.

But I met DH at 29, he was 36. We'd forged our own lives. Our friendship groups don't overlap although i do see his friends and he sees mine, but rarely. There's no friends that we've made as a couple because our shared interests aren't conducive to that in the way they were with ex's when I was younger.