Repulsive trendy food

[TheUnexpectedPickle]

Inspired by the dried fruit hate thread...

Is it only me that thinks most trendy/"healthy" food is overrated at best, downright nasty at worst?

Cauliflower rice does not have the taste or texture of rice. It's just soggy Cauliflower. Reheated it smells and tastes of fart.

Courgetti is wet and dilutes the sauce with its green sadwater.

Pomegranate, mangos and satsumas do not belong on salad, especially with a garlic dressing.

Advocados are only ok.

Siracha is just expensive hot sauce. There are loads that are better.

Overnight oats have the texture of wallpaper paste and are absolutely repugnant.

And nothing, NOTHING, should be served on a shovel or any other nonsense receptacle.

This thread has given me a right laugh, thanks OP! Green sadwater… classic!

Any kind of foam on my plate. Makes me to gag and reminds me of that horrible, dirty foam you get on the beach. 🤮

@SpaghettiNotCourgetti

Or this utter wankery… “Yeah, gimme something that somebody rode with their bare feet!”

@TheUnexpectedPickle I agree with most of what you said until you got to the part about vegan food looking like meat and 'bleeding'. I don't know how many times vegans need to say this, but, many of us became vegan because we actually don't want animals to bleed for our food. It isn't necessarily because we didn't like the taste or texture. Your mate nearly vomited. I love a Beyond burger which 'bleeds' and tastes far better than a conventional one. Not opinion, fact.

Thanks everyone for the kombucha definitions.

@TheUnexpectedPickle, I get what you mean about sriracha now. In that case, I agree with you.

My DP loves halloumi but, without ever having actually chewed a used condom, that is what it puts me in mind of. I believe the official MN term is "boak".

I agree with nearly all of the things mentioned. I have never dared voice the coconut water opinion in real life

I quite like fruit in a salad though.

I quite like beetroot itself, but I HATE it in anything especially sweet stuff. Beetroot cake, brownie etc - tastes like chocolate with a large spoonful of soil stirred in!

Agree with courgetti. Just have a bit less spaghetti if it’s a weight loss thing.

I wouldn’t put kimchi on here though - it’s not really a ‘trendy’ food, it’s a common staple food. It just happens to be Korean so not a common British food.

My contribution is not exactly a specific food but it is a food trend that I see a lot online - ridiculous kids lunches. Sandwiches cut into tiny hearts (wasting half the bread) fruit manipulated into the shape of SpongeBob, yogurt mixed with food colouring so it fits that days lunch aesthetic. It just seems silly and wasteful to me, to waste four slices of bread because it needs to be a certain shape. Although my kids get a cheese sandwich, an apple, and a Kit Kat. So maybe I’m just a lazy lunchbox mummy!

I have come to the conclusion that because chefs "create" their dishes when they aren't hungry they get their most fashionable ingredients and all their gadgets and have a little play until they get something that looks innovative and colourful. I see menu descriptions like.sous vide unicorn fillet with turnip 3 ways , green pea pearls , celeriac espuma (foam) and a white wine and mistletoe jus. What turns up is a slate or a plank with a matchbox sized piece of lukewarm meat, 3 lumps of bullet hard turnip, green balls that look like they have been produced by a rabbit , a teaspoon of bland foam and a dirty smear that turns out to be the sauce. Oh and a bill for £75 . Each. There are of course some notable exceptions (James Martin, Raymond Blanc, Gordon Ramsey, Jean Christophe Novelli,Tom Kerridge) but generally I find the more trendy the menu, the bigger the chefs ego...and don't even get me started on the ones who use tweezers to plate the meals !!!. On the other hand I had a gorgeous salad last summer, rocket, goats cheese, shredded beetroot, quinoa , pomegranate and caramelised pecans and it just perfectly hit the spot on a muggy summer day

Bbq jackfruit - yuck.

@BrightYellowDaffodil

I am so with you on cauliflower rice (it absolutely does smell and taste of fart), and cupcakes (I want a fucking fairy cake, with proper icing and 100s and 1000s, not a foot of oversweetened fluff).

But I do like kimchi (I am one of those wankers that makes their own) and kale. And I must take issue on the objection to brunch - what else is brunch but an excuse to drink before lunchtime?

Brunch itself is fine. Brunch used to mean you were eating breakfast so late it could be lunch so breakfast food and lunch food were equally acceptable.

Now though it's this whole CONCEPT where you're sold wanky combinations of faddy food that you don't reeeeally want because you'd rather have poached eggs on toast without an avocado jus or a quinoa crumble or even just a good old fry up. And it costs a fortune!

Basically if my local cafe did booze I'd be there.

Smashed avocado = overripe discount fruit mixed with a bit of pepper and lime juice. Grim. Texture and look of snot.

Overnight oats - slimy, sludgy stuff. Usually over flavoured with sweet shit.

[quote Motorina]@ISaySteadyOn kombucha. You remember when you were a kid, and you left a glass of orange squash in your room, and it developed a green floating crust on the surface?

It's basically a more controlled version of that.

It's a fermented drink. Fermented like yoghurt, or saukraut (another food that should be consigned uneaten to the recycling bin of hell), and not like beer.

Apparently if it starts making alcohol you've done something wrong. Apparently.[/quote]
Eeeeeeeeewwwwwww 🤢🤢🤢

Cauliflower rice and courgetti are a means to an end, rather than a delicious dish. Thanks to them I’ve lost 30lb and look HOT.
Worth it to me.

Salted caramel...what's wrong with just plain ol' caramel. Can't get away from everything salted caramel flavour!

@ThinWomansBrain

kombucha is a drink based fermented tea - love it (but attempts at making my own were a disaster) - can be a delicious non-sweet non alcoholic drink.

LOVE overnight oats - you must be doing it wrong
recommended to me by a nutritionist 20+ years ago, so I don't really think of them as trendy.
Perfect recipe - 30g oats, 10g raisins. teaspoon of cinnamon.
add a dash of milk when heated.

Ah. You heat it!!

The slimming world cult version is cold, straight from the fridge. A disgusting claggy bowl of depression.

I know the trend has pretty much died now, but cupcakes! I love cake, why would I want it ruined with all that sugar slime?!

Massive, outrageous birthday cakes with 3 layers and 8 feet of tooth-shattering ombré buttercream, usually seen at a child’s birthday party having cost the parents £80. Honestly cannot see what the problem is with a supermarket cake or a homemade Vicky sponge with some smarties on top. Don’t get me started on fucking vegetables in cakes. Absolutely not on. Vegetables in cake is for people who hate cake; I’m sad for them that their lives are so empty but stop spoiling it for the rest of us.

@Crinkle77

Any kind of foam on my plate. Makes me to gag and reminds me of that horrible, dirty foam you get on the beach. 🤮

This is my complaint as well - something delicious ruined by unnecessary spumey discharge.

Rocket. It's everywhere and is just horribly bitter.
And brioche buns. Sweet pap.

Cauliflower Steak.

Steak?

Cauliflower?

Nah.

I have found my tribe.
I would add smashed avocado on toast - actually avocado in any way.
Jackfruit should be made illegal
Anything that is called a meat name but isn't. I can live with things being called burgers or sausages that are meatless (love a glamorgan sausage) but don't call it chicken (or any other meat) unless actual meat.
And don't get me started on ANYTHING made from ground up insects.

oh and kale. No, just no.

@OhWhyNot

Coconut Water has a spermy taste

Kimchi

Ok - I adore coconut water and you just ruined it for me!

All the vegetarian food being replaced by vegan food. I still want to eat cheese and butter, vegan cheese needs consigning to the firey depths of Hell.

@Kanaloa

Agree with courgetti. Just have a bit less spaghetti if it’s a weight loss thing.

I wouldn’t put kimchi on here though - it’s not really a ‘trendy’ food, it’s a common staple food. It just happens to be Korean so not a common British food.

My contribution is not exactly a specific food but it is a food trend that I see a lot online - ridiculous kids lunches. Sandwiches cut into tiny hearts (wasting half the bread) fruit manipulated into the shape of SpongeBob, yogurt mixed with food colouring so it fits that days lunch aesthetic. It just seems silly and wasteful to me, to waste four slices of bread because it needs to be a certain shape. Although my kids get a cheese sandwich, an apple, and a Kit Kat. So maybe I’m just a lazy lunchbox mummy!

oh those bento box things argh!