Repulsive trendy food

[TheUnexpectedPickle]

Inspired by the dried fruit hate thread...

Is it only me that thinks most trendy/"healthy" food is overrated at best, downright nasty at worst?

Cauliflower rice does not have the taste or texture of rice. It's just soggy Cauliflower. Reheated it smells and tastes of fart.

Courgetti is wet and dilutes the sauce with its green sadwater.

Pomegranate, mangos and satsumas do not belong on salad, especially with a garlic dressing.

Advocados are only ok.

Siracha is just expensive hot sauce. There are loads that are better.

Overnight oats have the texture of wallpaper paste and are absolutely repugnant.

And nothing, NOTHING, should be served on a shovel or any other nonsense receptacle.

I've never had bubble tea but I bet that's disgusting, too. Like frogspawn coming up through your straw

Grazing boards/tables. Gross even before COVID.

Agree chai pudding 🤢

I love cake but cup cakes are horrible all that icing is just too much a home made fairy cake with watery icing is much nicer

I'm with you on the overnight oats. Bowl of slime and hungry again an hour later.

I'm adding kefir to the list of grim. I wanted to like it, but it tastes of rotting something and the "raw" version I tried was possibly the worst thing I have ever tasted. DP has never forgiven me for saying yuck try this.

@Madmaxxy I've never tried it because it looks absolutely revolting and I can't imagine having to put that in my mouth.

@SpaghettiNotCourgetti Ditto bubble tea, I just can't imagine trying it. Ugh.

Remember when wheatgrass was the in thing? That was like munching on fresh lawn trimmings

You mean like this?

@DreamTheMoors

You mean like this?

I mean, there's no excuse for it if you're not cooking it in the firebox of a steam engine, is there? Utter wankery.

@SocksAndTheCity

Courgetti is absolute shit and I cannot forgive myself for the nice sauces I've wasted on it trying to make it edible. It also rots down to vile smelling pond slime within five minutes of the bag being opened, just in case anybody had thought about not using the whole lot at once.

The most repulsive posh thing I have ever eaten was a sea urchin, and I was at a work dinner I wasn't paying for so I just had to grit my teeth and get on with it. I still inwardly retch a bit when I think about that.

I haven't touched courgetti after the time I cooked a pot in the microwave as directed and then opened it to discover it had rotten in the middle (depsite being within date). It took me hours to get rid of the smell 🤢

Cocktails in a kilner jar. If I wanted to drink out of a screw top.

Actually, scratch that. I'll never want to drink out of a screw top.

Especially at £18 a drink.

I did once send a fry up back because it came on a shovel on a stupid stand thing. I think that might have been a Jamie Oliver nightmare. I insisted they put it on a proper plate. With a rim. To stop the baked bean sauce dribbling off. Bastards.

I do quite like kale, though.

I'm really old but I don't get 'bottomless brunch'. Really ordinary chain pub type places do it. Who's going to be sitting in there eating crappy fry up with endless prosecco?

At some trendy restaurant a while ago, the bread came with ‘cultured’ butter.
TBH it just tasted rancid. In other words, foul.

The trend of serving burgers in brioche buns.

They’re sweet. I don’t want a sweet burger! I just want a burger bun. Ordering a burger that’s not in brioche so virtually impossible now.

And foams. Glad they seem to have passed by now. It always looked like someone had gobbed on your plate.

Cupcakes aren't trendy any more are they? Thought they went out with the ark

Bubble tea is the most recent 'emperors new clothes'. It will soon have its day and go the way of other fads. Because it's a fiver each and just not nice. When I had one my teen said I acted like grandma does in macdonalds

We are VERY angry with food tonight aren't we??? Was just going to mention "grazing tables" and "munchie boxes" can I add "protein balls" too.. ?? Those things that look like fat balls you put out for the birds. Vile. Surely nobody could even pretend to like them?

Also kombucha. It looks like the sort of mad scientist experiment that a deranged 14 year old would come up with, all glowing and with a hairy clot floating in it. They call it 'the mother'. Probably because it looks like a placenta.

Why? Just why??

cupcakes were trendy in 2008

@SeedsSeedsSeeds

I'm with you on the overnight oats. Bowl of slime and hungry again an hour later.

I'm adding kefir to the list of grim. I wanted to like it, but it tastes of rotting something and the "raw" version I tried was possibly the worst thing I have ever tasted. DP has never forgiven me for saying yuck try this.

Also kombucha. I got some ginger kombucha, big swig and a taste of gone off snuck in. Also anything that’s supposed to fit in your mouth but is twice as high, like stupidly tall burgers. So tall it needs a skewer to hold it up.

Sourdough. I know the clue is in the name, but as well as being sour it is almost impossible to cut, toast, or bite. Totally overrated.

Quinoa. Ohhh, sorry, keeeeenwahhhhh. Because you can show your level of pretentiousness by how you pronounce the pointless, gritty stuff.

I really want to go vegan from veggie and could live on dal and veg curries every day especially if people made them for me!. but the meat and dairy replacements are all just grim. I can't stomach soya at all. Seitan = satan And vegan cheeze. Its all just so packed with additives. Proper cooked veg food is better. This is why they call this vegan stuff plant-based. As in there is the basis of a plant in there somewhere!

Grazing platters

It's a messy display cheese and ham

Ramen.
Watery noodles with a soft boiled egg floating in it 🤮

I too disagree with OP about sriracha but that's because I am a strange person who loves spicy sauces in all possible versions. I agree with everything else.

And quinoa makes me think of snot.

Also, can someone explain to me what exactly is kombucha? I had a vague idea it was an alcoholic drink but it isn't, is it?

You are so right , IP.
I'm fed up of almost every single meat, in a restaurant, being 'pulled!'
Why?
And shrimp butter??? On so many starters? And mains.

Triple cooked chips... I might want double cooked chips. Maybe I'd just like chips?!

And don't get me started on beer battered fish.
It never tastes of beer and is , inevitably an over fried, tiny sliver of nondescript white fish in a huge, puffy, greasy crust .

Pie. A pie is ensconced in pastry. It's not a stew with a pastry lid in a separate dish.

I could bite for ages.