Repulsive trendy food

[TheUnexpectedPickle]

Inspired by the dried fruit hate thread...

Is it only me that thinks most trendy/"healthy" food is overrated at best, downright nasty at worst?

Cauliflower rice does not have the taste or texture of rice. It's just soggy Cauliflower. Reheated it smells and tastes of fart.

Courgetti is wet and dilutes the sauce with its green sadwater.

Pomegranate, mangos and satsumas do not belong on salad, especially with a garlic dressing.

Advocados are only ok.

Siracha is just expensive hot sauce. There are loads that are better.

Overnight oats have the texture of wallpaper paste and are absolutely repugnant.

And nothing, NOTHING, should be served on a shovel or any other nonsense receptacle.

OP not IP.

I voted yabu because I like everything on your list!

Ha, ha— I so agree with you on all these and my H loves em all. I once tried a waitrose vegan mushroom risotto and it smelt like dirty socks- disgusting!!!

I dare you to try the offerings of the Gluten Free Range.

You think you're angry now? Just wait until you've endured the abomination that claims to be a GF crumpet. It's like wallpaper paste has been left to ferment, then they've tipped off the majority of the black mould juice (although the number of sweaty mouldy GF products we've bought suggests they aren't even that careful about that stage), added the dregs of the bottom of a beehive afflicted by colony collapse disorder and then sat in five foot of foetid pondwater for three months, then set it all on fire before leaving it to sweat some more in the packaging for a further 15 weeks.

Or when you think 'Fuck it, I'll have some chips' only to find that the five different versions in the four supermarkets within walking distance have all decided that what everybody really wants all over their chips is some fucking wheatflour or fucking semolina.



Kombucha tastes like nice fruit juice that's on the turn. I still quite like it though

Shiitake mushrooms: disgusting slimy filth

I'll try again...for the quinoa haters...

@ISaySteadyOn kombucha. You remember when you were a kid, and you left a glass of orange squash in your room, and it developed a green floating crust on the surface?

It's basically a more controlled version of that.

It's a fermented drink. Fermented like yoghurt, or saukraut (another food that should be consigned uneaten to the recycling bin of hell), and not like beer.

Apparently if it starts making alcohol you've done something wrong. Apparently.

@TalkedTooMuchStayedTooLong

I'll try again...for the quinoa haters...

Avocado
Quinoa
Couscous
Kimchi
Anything vegetarian. ( Sorry )
Sweet potatoes, aka yams
Just about anything ' trendy ' really.

Thanks.

@ISaySteadyOn I do like siracha, I just don't get why it's THE SAUCE when there are plenty of other yummy spicy sauces out there that don't cost a fiver for a small bottle

@DreamTheMoors That picture has made me angry.

@Motorina WTF!? I've only vaguely heard of kombucha (probaby because my brains wanky filter kicked in)- what is floating in it!?

@Norgie I am vegetarian. I still reckon most vegetarians are up themselves.

I am so with you on cauliflower rice (it absolutely does smell and taste of fart), and cupcakes (I want a fucking fairy cake, with proper icing and 100s and 1000s, not a foot of oversweetened fluff).

But I do like kimchi (I am one of those wankers that makes their own) and kale. And I must take issue on the objection to brunch - what else is brunch but an excuse to drink before lunchtime?

Wierd pie fillings for veggies. If I doesn't go with mash and gravy it isn't suitable. I've even see the dreaded quinoa in a pie. Why?

Fruit 100% elevates a salad though. I love putting grapes into a salad

Vegan food. Don't get me wrong
I have vegan friends and I love eating at their homes. But eating out, why do all veggie options have to be vegan? I rarely eat meat but I do want proper cheese and eggs and butter. I went to a vegan/ vegetarian restaurant with a vegan friend and another friend recently. We paid a huge amount of money for vegan tapas that was beautifully presented but no substance. My other friend went to the chippy on the way home, I had beans on toast when I got home and neither of us have been able to tell our vegan friend that we did not rate her all time favourite restaurant at all

My dh will eat ANYTHING - but recently he had a jackfruit burger and he nearly vomited. It looked disgusting too.

He had one bite and left the rest - I have never seen him do this in 22 years together,
So I would say definitely add jackfruit to the list.

kombucha is a drink based fermented tea - love it (but attempts at making my own were a disaster) - can be a delicious non-sweet non alcoholic drink.

LOVE overnight oats - you must be doing it wrong
recommended to me by a nutritionist 20+ years ago, so I don't really think of them as trendy.
Perfect recipe - 30g oats, 10g raisins. teaspoon of cinnamon.
add a dash of milk when heated.

I agree with everything apart from overnight oats. I make the Pinch of Nom tiramisu ones and they are delicious.

For those who object to siracha, you need gochujang. It’s absolutely delicious (seriously, I could eat it out of the tub with a spoon) and you get change from three quid for 500g of the stuff: groceries.morrisons.com/products/ajumma-republic-korean-hot-red-pepper-paste-360914011

WTF!? I've only vaguely heard of kombucha (probaby because my brains wanky filter kicked in)- what is floating in it!?

The magic rotting thing. Which turns sweet tea into special wanky magic juice. That tastes of old tea with a tinge of compost heap.

It looks like this: www.healthline.com/nutrition/kombucha-scoby

Clearly repulsive.

Too early to nominate this one for classics?

Chia anything....texture of frogspawn.
Salted caramel....no, stop ruining lovely caramel with horrible salt
Grazing platters...vom. Salmonella's wet dream
Matcha- come on that is GROSS, it looks horrible, it tastes horrible and has no place in cakes of all places. Jog on, cake is meant to be delicious
Sourdough- too hard, hurts your mouth, no need.

Oh and I've been smelling a disgusting waft every time I open the fridge the last few days and threw away several items, thinking it was gone off meat as it smelt like a dead thing.

Only today did I realise it was the half empty can of chickpeas my dd left in there last week. Yuk.