Repulsive trendy food

[TheUnexpectedPickle]

Inspired by the dried fruit hate thread...

Is it only me that thinks most trendy/"healthy" food is overrated at best, downright nasty at worst?

Cauliflower rice does not have the taste or texture of rice. It's just soggy Cauliflower. Reheated it smells and tastes of fart.

Courgetti is wet and dilutes the sauce with its green sadwater.

Pomegranate, mangos and satsumas do not belong on salad, especially with a garlic dressing.

Advocados are only ok.

Siracha is just expensive hot sauce. There are loads that are better.

Overnight oats have the texture of wallpaper paste and are absolutely repugnant.

And nothing, NOTHING, should be served on a shovel or any other nonsense receptacle.

Overnight oats though. Nadiya's mango lassi Bircher muesli is one of the nicest things I've ever eaten.

Fake wanky non-milk - coconut, oak, soya, almond, cashew etc.

It's not milk! It's pretentious wankery unless allergic to dairy products.

@TheUnexpectedPickle - I think you’re with me here, but pretty much everything on this website

wewantplates.com/

But I have to admit, I love vegan cheese. As long as you expect it to taste like coconutty, rubbery vegetable fat and not proper cheddar with flavour it's actually ok.

@Elmrosie

Grazing boards/tables. Gross even before COVID.

On a thread about these crimes against food a comment from a poster summed up the horror very succinctly:

The ham is touching the Party Rings.

Agree with everything in your OP TheUnexpectedPickle and pretty much everything everyone else has added although I've swerved a lot of them as the look and description is enough to send me running in the opposite direction.

My theory is no-one likes any of these abominations, they just pretend to do so, I mean why would anyone like eating slimy wallpaper paste for breakfast, or anytime really? Reminds me of a soup I was once served abroad it was made from bread and had all the flavour and texture of lumpy wallpaper paste and looked remarkably like it too, I should have asked for the recipe and marketed it as the latest 'super food'.

Joystir59

Nah, oysters are delicious.

Arguably, they're just massive bogies in a hard carry case.

Smashed avocado on sourdough toast for 'brunch'.

Sorry but I think it is for wankers

[quote FireMeetGasoline]@TheUnexpectedPickle I agree with most of what you said until you got to the part about vegan food looking like meat and 'bleeding'. I don't know how many times vegans need to say this, but, many of us became vegan because we actually don't want animals to bleed for our food. It isn't necessarily because we didn't like the taste or texture. Your mate nearly vomited. I love a Beyond burger which 'bleeds' and tastes far better than a conventional one. Not opinion, fact.[/quote]
Each to their own, her opinion and preference is that she doesn't want to eat things that look or taste like meat. The whole idea repusles her.

I'm sure there are plenty of people on here who actually like courgetti...

@SpaghettiNotCourgetti

Joystir59

Nah, oysters are delicious.

Arguably, they're just massive bogies in a hard carry case.

I do genuinely love them.

I agree also with bubble tea. I have never once had a cup of tea that I felt needed to be more slimy.

What the hell is Bubble Tea

Cupcakes and the cake is like sand. I can make better cake than in any cupcake I've ever bought and I don't do it for a living. I simply use butter and fresh eggs. They cost.

@Ohyesiam

Cauliflower rice and courgetti are a means to an end, rather than a delicious dish. Thanks to them I’ve lost 30lb and look HOT. Worth it to me.

Well done 🏆

Your sad food consumption had paid off and yes, I probably need to try it

@Crinkle77

Any kind of foam on my plate. Makes me to gag and reminds me of that horrible, dirty foam you get on the beach. 🤮

I call it Cuckoo Spit.

As in the foamy arse secretion of nymph stage froghoppers on the rosemary bush out front of my house.

If there are candied fennel seeds involved, it even looks like you've got the bugs on the plate as well.

Chia stuff - looks like frog spawn.

Cauliflower rice. Cauliflower. Is. Not. Rice. Call it what it is - grated cauliflower.

The bleeding not-meat. I don't eat meat because I don't like the look, taste, texture, smell etc of meat. I definitely don't want my not-meat to resemble meat

Even though I don’t loathe kale, I buy it frozen if it’s cheaper than spinach and smuggle it into lasagna or “bolognese” pasta sauces so I can pretend to be a virtuous parent whose kids get veggies.

Marking my place to come back to this.. it's late, I'm tired but I agree with almost everything said on page one so I want to read the rest.. but pomegranates are deliciously in salad.. but garlic dressing is not!!

@Ohyesiam well done!

I started a thread about those revolting stomach churning graze boards that seem to pop up everywhere at the moment.
Sweating meat and cheese touching dry crackers with dried fruit and bits of pretzel and doughnut crammed into random crevices - just serve food normally you filthy bastards
It’s not aspirational, it looks like a fucking pig trough

@NeverDropYourMooncup lol I recently bought the gluten free Jaffa cakes, you could have sunk the titanic with them or built a house.
I recently made chia seed pudding, omg I wish I hadn’t bothered, the bland but awful texture combination. 🤮

Agree with all of this especially cupcakes!!!! Just so sickly and I love sweet things but buttercream makes me heave! I do love avocados though I know a lot of people think it tastes like wallpaper paste which would be a lot cheaper and you could just drink mint!🤣😂🤣😂

Sushi is vile. It's not gorgeous or your favorite meal.
Pickled ginger, wasabi etc are delicious though. Just have that with some rice, much nicer.
Quinoa.
Chia seeds soaked
Matcha tea. Grim.

@boatyardblues
"I feel like I’m missing the point of this thread but I won’t hear a word said against kimchi. You just don’t know how to use it properly."

I agree.....best thing EVER for cleaning stainless steel sinks

Turmeric in everything.