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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think some mnetters are deliberately obtuse

244 replies

Soubriquet · 21/02/2022 10:23

I’m not talking about those who English is a second language but words or phrases which are said by an OP, which may not be 100% clear, but by taking in the entire post, it’s clear what the OP means.

Some posters have to reply saying “xxx. What does xxx mean? I don’t understand”

When it’s cleared up, they have to return to say “oh. I only know it by it’s proper name yyy. I can’t bear people saying xxx”

OP posts:
Hadjab · 22/02/2022 06:45

I see TEA for my evening meal too. Breakfast, Lunch, Tea, Supper. Sometimes it's Breakfast, Brunch, Tea, Supper

@BearOfEasttown serious question, what time would you be having tea (dinner?) on average, if you’re then having supper, and what would supper consist of?

JenniferWooley · 22/02/2022 07:13

@Hadjab supper to me is only really for children. DC got supper (usually something similar to what they had for breakfasts) as part of their bedtime routine.

But I use dinner & tea interchangeably for the evening meal.

Piggy42 · 22/02/2022 07:16

I would never have got nippy woowoo. I’ve never heard tangy for tangerine but that might have been easier given context. Would quite like to see the thread now!

BarbaraofSeville · 22/02/2022 07:29

@Hadjab

I see TEA for my evening meal too. Breakfast, Lunch, Tea, Supper. Sometimes it's Breakfast, Brunch, Tea, Supper

@BearOfEasttown serious question, what time would you be having tea (dinner?) on average, if you’re then having supper, and what would supper consist of?

If people call their main evening meal tea, they'd have it in the evening, time depending on work, other activities and hunger. Any time between 5 and 8/9 pm generally.

I don't think supper is widely used in the general population for the evening meal, it's more upper class terminology.

Most people use supper to refer to a milk and cookies type snack before bedtime don't they?

spottedbadger · 22/02/2022 07:43

What do you mean by ‘obtuse’ ConfusedGrin I recall a recent thread where the OP wrote ‘should of’ instead of ‘should have’ and instead of getting help with her difficult domestic situation, she got lectured on grammar Envy Loving a current one about a cat being let in by neighbours against the owner’s wish where she is being helpfully advised to cat-proof her garden (I’ve seen cats scaling an 8 ft fence with ease so I wonder how exactly you do this?!) while other posters argue over expressions used and spelling of their user name. Happy days!

Sparklingbrook · 22/02/2022 08:23

Most people use supper to refer to a milk and cookies type snack before bedtime don't they?

I always thought of that as a supper, but it's not something I do. Some on here refer to supper as an evening meal but assume it's very late? It's not on my radar.

PriamFarrl · 22/02/2022 08:29

@Sparklingbrook

Most people use supper to refer to a milk and cookies type snack before bedtime don't they?

I always thought of that as a supper, but it's not something I do. Some on here refer to supper as an evening meal but assume it's very late? It's not on my radar.

I grew up in the south with supper being my evening meal, usually about 7pm. We didn’t eat anything after that.

DH grew up eating tea at around 5pm with supper being cheese and crackers before bed.

We now have dinner at 7pm or there abouts.

Sparklingbrook · 22/02/2022 08:37

I grew up in the Midlands (but Dad was from up North) and we had tea at 5.30pm but no mention of supper.

Now we just eat whenever in the evening depending on work etc and everyone just calls it dinner. No supper anywhere still.

Lalliella · 22/02/2022 09:06

I'm 55 and I go on girls' nights out! Women's nights out just doesn't sound as good.

OnlyAFleshWound · 22/02/2022 09:24

Surely it's less embarrassing to say 'cystitis' than to say 'nippy woowoo' Confused

Fuuuuuckit · 22/02/2022 09:34

@ThinWomansBrain

Never heard of a tangie before.

Just off to eat my satsuma. (or is it a satsie?)

Satsumas are 'zoomas' in our house...
PleasantBirthday · 22/02/2022 09:50

@KatherineJaneway

Well, this is one that I have a bit of a problem with. I think it has been a very uphill struggle for women to get to the point where they have proper names for their body parts and can say them without obfuscation. I think it's really important for young girls to hear the proper words.

It's not up to you to tell other women what words to use.

I didn't, I just explained why I think it's important for young women that adult women use the correct terminology. I didn't say that everyone has to do what I say.
LadyMonicaBaddingham · 22/02/2022 10:00

@Bluesheep8

Is tangies with a hard ‘g’ or a soft ‘g’.

I thought it was tangies with a hard g and meant those really sour fizzy sweets tbh

So did I, you're not alone Blush
MistressoftheDarkSide · 22/02/2022 10:02

On a more serious note, the "faux ignorance" tactic can be used in real life situations to undermine and destabilise people already in a state of distress and can leave them open to manipulation into behaving "irrationally " so that their often genuine issues can be sidelined.

An example - I was once in a very distressing situation, and had to deal with HCPs with alot of power over me. After an incident occurred which my solicitor advised had been handled badly and did breach good practise, I was advised to communicate with the person involved and try to iron out the issue face to face. I explained as clearly as I could my concerns, and the "professional" involved put her head on one side, and said "What exactly do you mean by that?". So despite having been very clear, I tried again. Nope, she still didn't get it. After the third go, I started to feel as if I was going slightly mad, emphasised a point by bringing my palms down on my thighs as I sat, which allowed her to leave, and write a report that ignored everything about the exchange other than that she felt I was trying to intimidate her and she had left due to concerns for her own safety.

So yeah, in the context of these boards, it's unhelpful, petty and a bit of an indicator of the personality of the person doing it, plus on an anonymous forum there's a possibility that they do it because they wouldn't in real life and perhaps feel a bit of powerlessness in the real world.

stuntbubbles · 22/02/2022 10:12

I don't think supper is widely used in the general population for the evening meal, it's more upper class terminology.
Ooh, disagree – I think calling your tea/dinner “supper” is a bit nouveau. As you said later in your post, using “supper” for a milk snack before bed is more proper – short for “nursery supper”.

Source: my very posh mother. Who would only call her evening meal “supper” if it was indeed a “kitchen supper” or “nursery supper”, I.e. quite different from her regular dinner, something like a boiled egg and soldiers, eaten with slightly less ceremony than a normal dinner (fewer candles, not in the dining room).

Stravaig · 22/02/2022 10:25

Here's the polar opposite of this thread - a news reporter who does his bulletins in six languages, because why wouldn't you?

thecatneuterer · 22/02/2022 13:49

@spottedbadger A quick google would have shown you a myriad of options for cat-proofing gardens, from a completely enclosed 'catio' to specially designed additions to the tops of fences, made from either rolling bamboo sections, or netting on wire frames, that make it impossible for cats to get over the fence. There are numerous companies that do just that, as well a many DIY options. For example: protectapet.com/collections/cat-fence-barriers

fishhshell · 22/02/2022 14:01

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk guidelines.

BearOfEasttown · 22/02/2022 14:06

That video with the dogs - posted at 6am today is one of the funniest things I have seen for AGES! Grin

TroysMammy · 22/02/2022 14:12

I would have thought tangies was a typo for tagines.

BearOfEasttown · 22/02/2022 14:18

@TroysMammy

I would have thought tangies was a typo for tagines.
This. ^ I would never get tangerines from tangies..
BearOfEasttown · 22/02/2022 14:22

@OnlyAFleshWound

Surely it's less embarrassing to say 'cystitis' than to say 'nippy woowoo' Confused
I have never heard of nippy woo woo tbh.
BearOfEasttown · 22/02/2022 14:22

@OnlyAFleshWound

Surely it's less embarrassing to say 'cystitis' than to say 'nippy woowoo' Confused
I've never heard of nippy woo woo - as a replacement for cystitis - to be honest.
BearOfEasttown · 22/02/2022 14:23

Sorry, didn't mean to post twice!

BearOfEasttown · 22/02/2022 14:23

@PleasantBirthday

I didn't, I just explained why I think it's important for young women that adult women use the correct terminology. I didn't say that everyone has to do what I say.

Educate yourself. Grin A young woman can be called a GIRL.

www.bing.com/search?q=define+girl

And as I said further back, there are MANY occasions of men being called boys - in songs and TV and film etc... I don't hear anyone moaning about that though.

And I agree with a pp that it's not up to you or anyone else to police how other people speak and what phrases/words they use.

A man (aged roughly 85-90,) was in front of me in Aldi today, and said to the checkout operator 'this girl can go in front of me, she only as one item...' I am in my fifties!

Did I mind being called a girl? Did I bollocks?! I didn't care a jot, because I am not a petty, pedantic, nitpicker who gets offended at FUCK-ALL. I thanked him politely, and went in front of him. In addition he said 'I like your cat mask my lovely.' OH NO! Shock He called me 'my lovely!' What a horrible sexist git! Hmm Errr, not actually, what a lovely, friendly, polite gentleman he was!

Seriously I swear fucking feminism has done more harm than good sometimes. With so many wimmin getting so offended at fuck-all. Some men are afraid to speak these days! Even my own DH says he has to think for a minute before he speaks to the women at work, lest he offends them with a totally innocuous comment!