To think some mnetters are deliberately obtuse

[Soubriquet]

I’m not talking about those who English is a second language but words or phrases which are said by an OP, which may not be 100% clear, but by taking in the entire post, it’s clear what the OP means.

Some posters have to reply saying “xxx. What does xxx mean? I don’t understand”

When it’s cleared up, they have to return to say “oh. I only know it by it’s proper name yyy. I can’t bear people saying xxx”

It's not as annoying as the OP explaining why they can't do the obvious thing, x, and asking for advice and posters saying why don't you do x.

@Aderyn21

daim what do you mean by "so what?" That it's okay to be an arsehole to someone in distress?

Where did I say that?

There are arseholes on here.

There are arseholes in real life - so what?

Sometimes it's annoying though, I recall the jelly MIL.

@incognitoforthisone

Mumsnet attracts far too many people who basically treat it like Mean Girls for middle-aged women. Some people seem to come here solely to look for things to critique, usually in a way that screams 'snob'.

Excuse me, some of us are not middle aged!

Is tangies with a hard ‘g’ or a soft ‘g’.

I thought it was tangies with a hard g and meant those really sour fizzy sweets tbh

I agree! Or someone posts, I'm so upset, I think my husband is seeing another girl.

And someone has to reply, Do you mean your husband is dating a child? I don't understand.

Come on FFS

It happens a lot on threads about childrens parties when people are talking about Coca Cola type drinks. I’ve seen it referred to as things like pop, fizzy and fizz. Then you get 127 posts asking what pop is. I’ve never used that word but I know what the OP means, especially in context.

The last one was the best. Poster asking if serving fizz at a (I think) 5 year olds party was ok as it’d happened at a party her kid just went to but another mother was complaining about the sugar content and tooth damage. There was some posters apparently very confused that someone would serve champagne to 5 year olds

@Cheeseandlobster

I know what you mean op. Its like when someone in distress posts something like this. Obviously in a hurry...

Op "Can anyone help me please. My dh has physically assaulted me and locked me in the houde"

Obtuse poster "Houde? What do you mean house?"

It's obvious what the op is saying yet some people just love to correct others, even where its obviously inappropriate. I saw it on a thread recently with the second reply to a post. Some people are proper arseholes.

Agree.

I have never heard 'tangie' being used to refer to a tangerine. So perhaps some of us are inadvertently obtuse.

Or alternatively, (and perhaps additionally) there are some posters who forget that most grown-ups don't understand the twee home-grown expressions that they use with their toddlers.

For some reason I hate the word ‘vulva’. It’s not that I’m a prude, it just grates on me. I don’t know why. Informally I would describe my ‘vulva’ as my fanny or my privates. In a formal sense I’d describe it as my vagina, or just outside my vagina. But oh no on MN it’s vulva or nothing. Ffs you know exactly what I’m talking about.

@BrambleRoses

Oh yes, the I Do Not Understand —goady fuckers— posters.

‘Why on earth did you walk to work rather than get a taxi? I don’t understand! ’

‘But I don’t understand! Explain it to me!’ almost always means ‘I understand perfectly - I just want a bitchfest on said topic, but don’t want to get my post deleted’.

It’s amazing how many people don’t understand when the topic relates to gender…

It's sanctimony at its finest. I must admit we get only the best on mumsnet.

I agree OP. Although sometimes posts are so 'eh?' you do have to question it. I wouldn't understand what tangies mean either.

There are also threads like
that hilarious 'owl noises' thread where people where questioning this term because it was so utterly ludicrous. But the OP was in fact actually making the noises of an owl

@SalmonEile

Or someone will say hubby and the first 400 replies are “Yabu for saying hubby” and no other advice or comment on the OPs dilemma

The irony is, the same people are happy to use DH, DD, DNDN, DWomanImetin1989anddidntlike etc. I get that people find ‘hubby’ cheesy, but at least it’s a real phrase people use.

Yes a lot of respondents on aibu are total dicks.

Yes, there are some people who just like to stick the boot in.

I'll never forget the thread with a woman who'd been physically and sexually assaulted by her partner and had realised she was in a really sticky financial situation because when they bought their house they didn't protect her deposit.

She said brought instead of bought. It was very obvious what she meant and she was obviously very upset. Yet some tosser still felt the need to say "Brought? Where did you bring the house?"

@BarbaraofSeville

If this is about me and the tangies, I genuinely didn't equate them with tangerines and thought the OP was talking about something similar to fruit winders.

What's a fruit winder? 😂

@Spidey66

For some reason I hate the word ‘vulva’. It’s not that I’m a prude, it just grates on me. I don’t know why. Informally I would describe my ‘vulva’ as my fanny or my privates. In a formal sense I’d describe it as my vagina, or just outside my vagina. But oh no on MN it’s vulva or nothing. Ffs you know exactly what I’m talking about.

Well, this is one that I have a bit of a problem with. I think it has been a very uphill struggle for women to get to the point where they have proper names for their body parts and can say them without obfuscation. I think it's really important for young girls to hear the proper words. When you're calling your vulva a vagina, for example, that doesn't help break the association with the idea that women's bodies are mysterious and overly complicated and really should be a secret.

That's not being obtuse, I don't think.

It happens with regional words too. The meaning is there even if you don’t personally use that word Eg someone posts another mom hit my 2 year old in face and cut his lip and the first 5 posts are querying use of ‘American’ mom even after poster clarifies she’s in midlands and Mom used there. Or school took chocolate out of my daughter’s pack up - what’s a pack up? I call it a packed lunch but I can understand what op means.
When I was little I was taught to read paragraph to try and get meaning if you didn’t understand a word.

@Dixiechickonhols

It happens with regional words too. The meaning is there even if you don’t personally use that word Eg someone posts another mom hit my 2 year old in face and cut his lip and the first 5 posts are querying use of ‘American’ mom even after poster clarifies she’s in midlands and Mom used there. Or school took chocolate out of my daughter’s pack up - what’s a pack up? I call it a packed lunch but I can understand what op means. When I was little I was taught to read paragraph to try and get meaning if you didn’t understand a word.

Also bread roll/barm/bun etc. if someone asks if they should put one or two ham buns in their child’s pack up/packed lunch/whatever I know what they mean even though I would never use that phrase.

Some posters are obtuse often because they think it makes them look clever.

I haven't seen the post in question but I don't think I'd have understood tangies.

Some posters are obtuse often because they think it makes them look clever.
Yes but instead it just makes them look like the dickhead they are.

I’m with you on the tangies @BarbaraofSeville, I read it like tangy and thought it was a brand that I didn’t know! Like sour sweets of some sort

daim it matters because it makes an otherwise really helpful site feel hostile to people who need it the most

Oh, everywhere. Like the woman who claimed not to understand the concept of Christmas pyjamas (what are you struggling with?), or the ones who don't understand why someone might want to wear nice clothes and makeup for a first date, or whatever.