To be annoyed my friends son has kicked a hole in my wall?

[TedOnTheBed]

I have posted about his behaviour before and pretty much told I was being unsupportive. I am not she can not control him, there are no special needs involved he is brat and acts out destroying things and attacking people to get his own way. She says no he goes on a 30-45 minute rampage which ends in him doing something like smashing a tv, phone screen or head butting someone on the nose causing a nose bleed etc etc. she then gives in and he gets what he wants and he INSTANTLY snaps out of the tantrum until he hears the word no again and then it is a repeat. My AIBU is would it be mean to ban a just turned 5 year old from my house? I find his behaviour unbearable and absolutely detest spending anytime with him.

@Sassbott

We cross posted. So basically he started kicking the wall and your friend didn’t stop him. That’s just weird.

Very odd. First kick and I'd have lifted him up out of the way. Almost like she's scared of him and he's only five 😮

Unless you have lived with a child who struggles with cognitive issues such as poor emotional control, you could easily assume that the extreme tantrum behaviour is easily fixed with consistent teaching of acceptable behaviour. Often Children do not look or act differently when they are SEN children until they face certain challenges that show up their specific difficulties and show that they have not been equally equipped with emotional IQ and cognitive skills.

Yes, consistently parenting with clearly defined boundaries does wonders, but no, it’s not going to work the same for each child.

For some it is a much bumpier road to get through each stage growing up.

Calmly accepting life’s challenges doesn’t come so easily for many children, despite the best parenting efforts

I agree with this completely, @midsummabreak. My issue would be with the parent in the OP - I don't think it is acceptable that she hasn't either apologised for the damage done, or offered to pay for at least part of the repair.

@midsummabreak

Unless you have lived with a child who struggles with cognitive issues such as poor emotional control, you could easily assume that the extreme tantrum behaviour is easily fixed with consistent teaching of acceptable behaviour. Often Children do not look or act differently when they are SEN children until they face certain challenges that show up their specific difficulties and show that they have not been equally equipped with emotional IQ and cognitive skills. Yes, consistently parenting with clearly defined boundaries does wonders, but no, it’s not going to work the same for each child. For some it is a much bumpier road to get through each stage growing up. Calmly accepting life’s challenges doesn’t come so easily for many children, despite the best parenting efforts

Totally understand this, but when escalating the parent really ought to have removed the child from the op's house particularly as he has form for damaging things. Even if that we're not possible, it is pretty poor form for the friend to have not even acknowledged the damage let alone offer to pay for it to be fixed.

@midsummabreak

People do understand that children have different needs

The point OP raised and is being discussed is that the parent did nothing to acknowledge or try to stop her child causing considerable damage to OPs house. OP isn't a government funded service, it's her home and she is quite right to decide not to invite this mum and her child into her house again as there's no attempt being made by mum to intervene and stop the damage being caused