To be envious that annual leave is never a holiday any more?

Comedycook · 20/02/2022 19:10

Yanbu.

BBCONEANDTWO · 20/02/2022 19:11

Wouldn't your parents take the kids for a weekend stay to give you a break?

TheOriginalEmu · 20/02/2022 19:15

@Llamasinpajamas

Just that really. Had a weekend with family (retired parents and siblings who work) all talking about holiday plans. Parents quite rightly enjoying retirement and travelling a lot (they are quite wealthy). Siblings both talking about their booking holidays abroad and how desperate they are for a break and sun and time off.

I have two small children (2 and 6) and never get a break. Family are great and lovely and keep them occupied when we visit or babysit occasionally which is great but any annual leave DH and I use for school holidays/inset day/sickness etc. we haven’t been abroad in years due to money being tight but even if we did we’d have the kids so it would be the same sh*t different location! I need a week off. I need sun. I need a BREAK! I can’t every take a day leave for myself as we need it for childcare. A sick day (which I only take when genuinely ill) is as close to me time as I get.

Am I allowed to be incredibly jealous? I remember all the lovely holidays and leave days I had pre kids and I feel like I’ll never have that again. Im knackered, life is relentless and I wish I could have a week off!

I do love my kids to bits and don’t really begrudge anyone else having holiday/enjoying leave at all. I just wish it was me

I remember that feeling when mine were that age, and I had 4 less than 5 years apart as a single parent. I felt like I never had time to pee let alone me time. I had to go into hospital To have my appendix out and I genuinely had quite a nice time

. It does get better, your time will be more your own as they get older I swear. Even taking the kids away will be less full on as they get older. Hang in there!

KewMummy87 · 20/02/2022 19:17

Go to somewhere like The Ickworth Hotel and you get 2 hours childcare every day included? Or somewhere with a great childrens club for half/full days?

Didiusfalco · 20/02/2022 19:20

I do get where you’re coming from, but honestly, this is everyone with children. The holidays do get more enjoyable when they get older though - toddlers are relentless!

bowlingalleyblues · 20/02/2022 19:20

If you work Monday-Friday (like me) you could try things like: each picking a weekend this year to go away for a couple of nights with a friend while the other babysits, booking a spa day or day trip out together and a babysitter (we have a nice local one that we trust), convincing family that a sleepover with your kids would be an amazing bonding experience for them and then going for a meal and night away together with your partner. Family holidays are really pricey, but when you can use a weekend outside of school holidays you can get reasonable prices and at least have something to look forward to. Child free holiday abroad is a long way off for us too!

BiscuitLover3678 · 20/02/2022 19:21

@KewMummy87

Go to somewhere like The Ickworth Hotel and you get 2 hours childcare every day included? Or somewhere with a great childrens club for half/full days?

These don’t sound at all like budget breaks

gogohm · 20/02/2022 19:24

It's normal when kids are young to have less money and struggle with childcare/use annual leave. If gets a lot easier when they get older. We only started going abroad properly when they were at secondary school (except the 2 occasions we went with my parents self catering in france and they paid, was really hard work)

Carbiesdreamhouse · 20/02/2022 19:26

I had the flu about 4 years ago amd had one day where I just couldn't work, so dropped DC into nursery and just took 8 hours to lie in bed. I felt very very rough bit it was honestly the best day I've had since DC were born. I've longed to be that ill again, but every time I get sick now I'm always just a bit rough and can power through and I can't justify taking time off work (and only have childcare when at work).

Original poster

Llamasinpajamas · 20/02/2022 19:27

@Didiusfalco I know you are right.
@BBCONEANDTWO they do very kindly babysit on occasion but it’s usually when we are going to a wedding or something! Which is lovely and we are very grateful for but it’s usually dash to drop kids, drive to venue get ready, full on day then back next day for the kids! I just want a week in the sun to do nothing! Kind of glad it’s not just me though and yes @KewMummy87 that does sound lovely but probably a bit beyond my budget

OP posts:

CrimbleCrumble1 · 20/02/2022 19:28

It’s normal when you have young DC. Could you and your DH give each other a break, for example you get one Saturday a month for yourself and he gets one Sunday?

Flippydip · 20/02/2022 19:29

We're preparing for this now, with DS close to starting school. Could you go for a weekend break and get your parents to have the kids?

DH and I have done this a few times and booked a hotel in another city (sometimes a bit fancy, sometimes just a premier inn) and taken ourselves out for dinner, a peaceful stroll, or a few drinks. We don't get full holidays abroad but those occasional weekends really keep us going. We'll usually use one day annual leave each so we get the Friday off and extend our weekend.

canary1 · 20/02/2022 19:29

But this is true of everyone who has children. Your parents had this in the past. From the sounds of it your siblings will do this in the future. The only way to not spend years of your life doing this is to not have children.

Flippydip · 20/02/2022 19:29

Just seen your update since I posted. Totally understandable!!

ShallWeTalkAboutBruno · 20/02/2022 19:31

This applies to most people with young children OP. Mine are 8, 6 and 3 and we have no babysitters (family all live abroad), so we don’t even get the babysitting for weddings etc! It’s just life.
I do have the odd moment of envy when BIL and SIL send us pictures in Thailand etc, but essentially they’ve made their life choices (no kids, lots of holidays) and we’ve made ours (lots of kids, no breaks 😂)

Original poster

Llamasinpajamas · 20/02/2022 19:32

@canary1 I know I know and I’d never say anything and ultimately it’s our choice! I just fancied a vent as I long for a lovely holiday. @CrimbleCrumble1 we absolutely do, we regularly have evenings out with friends and if we ever want to have a day out we would absolutely support that for each other. I’d just love some extended quality time with DH again!

OP posts:

Jessicabrassica · 20/02/2022 19:34

I'm with you. We've had 2 child-free nights in 12.5 years and we're currently averaging 3hrs child free time a year. It is relentless but in 2023 they will both be at scouts and we will have a whole week to ourselves! Counting the days!

HelloDulling · 20/02/2022 19:34

Working parents who want to take holidays use holiday clubs so they can still get time away. Council run schemes are usually fairly reasonable. Maybe start saving with that in mind for next year?

KewMummy87 · 20/02/2022 19:35

@BiscuitLover3678 - they’re not. The op didn’t mention budget.

queenofcauliflower · 20/02/2022 19:35

Yes its absolutely relentless & then when they are teens they look at you disparagingly when you ask them to do something reasonable on holiday (like get up before noon), look at you like dirt on their shoe, hate being in family photos and are rude and ungrateful for all the £££ you spent!!!

I've been a parent for nearly 15 years and due to a big age gap, I think it'll be another 15 before I can have a child free break in the sun - wah!

Howeverdoyouneedme · 20/02/2022 19:37

YANBU.
I can’t imagine a holiday I’d actually enjoy ever again.

minniep · 20/02/2022 19:38

Oh I hear you OP. But I can say that things will massively improve in only a couple of years. I've an almost three year old a six year old and a nine year old and honestly the nine year old is a dream now and I could go anywhere and do most things with her . The six year old has asd so a bit trickier but still he is great. Once you have the preschooler phase past you then things are much better and you will really enjoy trips away and days out aren't a chore

CrimbleCrumble1 · 20/02/2022 19:38

Why do you need all your leave for childcare, do you have access to holiday camps or a childminder?

guiltynetter · 20/02/2022 19:39

@Jessicabrassica

I'm with you. We've had 2 child-free nights in 12.5 years and we're currently averaging 3hrs child free time a year. It is relentless but in 2023 they will both be at scouts and we will have a whole week to ourselves! Counting the days!

3 hours a year?! I can't get my head round that it's absolutely mind boggling! They're not at school or nursery?

Fireworksatforty · 20/02/2022 19:40

Mine are 8 and 5 and I can totally see where you're coming from. What we do is book a weeknight in a hotel usually with a spa, and my mum has the kids from say 9am to the following 5pm so it feels like a little holiday. Is that a possibility?