To be envious that annual leave is never a holiday any more?

[Llamasinpajamas]

Just that really. Had a weekend with family (retired parents and siblings who work) all talking about holiday plans. Parents quite rightly enjoying retirement and travelling a lot (they are quite wealthy). Siblings both talking about their booking holidays abroad and how desperate they are for a break and sun and time off.

I have two small children (2 and 6) and never get a break. Family are great and lovely and keep them occupied when we visit or babysit occasionally which is great but any annual leave DH and I use for school holidays/inset day/sickness etc. we haven’t been abroad in years due to money being tight but even if we did we’d have the kids so it would be the same sh*t different location! I need a week off. I need sun. I need a BREAK! I can’t every take a day leave for myself as we need it for childcare. A sick day (which I only take when genuinely ill) is as close to me time as I get.

Am I allowed to be incredibly jealous? I remember all the lovely holidays and leave days I had pre kids and I feel like I’ll never have that again. Im knackered, life is relentless and I wish I could have a week off!

I do love my kids to bits and don’t really begrudge anyone else having holiday/enjoying leave at all. I just wish it was me

The "that's life with kids", "it's what you signed up for" type comments are a bit tedious. So because having DC is a choice, once you've made that choice you're never allowed to admit to finding aspects of it difficult or tiring? I don't get it.

Ditto the condescending comments about how "sad" it is that some people find holidays with small children challenging and the posters who just can't understand why on earth anyone would wish for a break from caring for their small children and it makes them so "sad" that OP isn't cherishing every single moment! Can you really not see how someone could love and cherish their DC but still miss having the occasional opportunity for solitude or quality one on one time with their partner? If you don't particularly value or crave those things and are completely fulfilled by spending all your time with your children then that's absolutely fine. Good for you! But we're not all the same. I love being with my DC but I am not ashamed to admit that I need other things in my life as well. I don't believe there's anything "sad" about that.

Hard agree neverbeenskiing. This competitive parent martyrdom is dull.

It also depends on the kid of course. DS1 was a delight to have around on trips out and holidays as a baby and toddler. Sat in his buggie and took everything in and found everything amazing. DS2 just made them a complete chore. He was just never happy. During one memorable holiday in every picture he is scowling or crying in his pram. The odd photo that he isn't is because we'd chucked him a packet of cheddars as that's the only thing that seemed to make him stop whingeing for 5 mins. Oh yeah, in another photo he has a bit of a fascinated half smile/half grimace on his face whilst clinging to me with both arms and legs, almost crawling up my upper body - he was only looking down at the very shallow waves from which I'd had to remove him as he hated paddling. He hated ice cream (what kid hates an ice cream on the beach on a sunny day?!) He said it was too cold.

Oh god, the joys of holidays with him as a toddler......

If you both work full time that’s completely normal.

If you can afford holiday clubs and extra nursery days for some of your AL it gives you a break and makes it easier!

Pay for childcare / holiday clubs so you don't have to use all your annual leave; then go on holiday as a family somewhere during annual leave; make sure each of you has equal "time off" just to swim/ relax.
Most working parents need paid childcare at some point.

Thank you @neverbeenskiing glad it's not just me. I know I signed up for it, I adore my kids, I am grateful for them every day. But good grief people are allowed to have a moan aren't they? About their job, having building work done, the relentlessness of kid etc etc. Doesn't mean they aren't grateful to have a job/be able to afford home upgrades/have kids but things are tough!

You are absolutely allowed to vent, it is a hard slog and eventually you will get time every year to holiday in the sun, then you will have Grandchildren and will be such good Grandparents you will sacrifice your time to look after the DGC during the school holidays.