Page 5 | To be envious that annual leave is never a holiday any more?

gingerhills · 20/02/2022 21:44

OP I remember being so glad I had a root canal infection because it meant I could sit in a waiting room and read a magazine uninterrupted, twice!

You need a weekend away with friends while DH looks after DC, maybe with family help. I started doing this when DS2 was 3 years old and it made a massive difference.

Dixiechickonhols · 20/02/2022 21:49

Have you priced a holiday abroad in term time with a decent kids club? Take eldest out for a week. Holidays in UK can be a rip off on comparison.
Use holiday clubs to cover some of school holiday. 2 year old to nursery, 6 yr old in holiday club and have a day doing what you want. Don’t feel guilty you need time to yourself.

itsgoodtobehome · 20/02/2022 21:54

Why can't you go on holiday when it's the school holidays if you are taking time off then anyway? We are on half term and just flown out to the Canaries. It's lush, so we are taking annual leave and having a holiday.

mindutopia · 20/02/2022 21:55

Why not just use extra childcare and have a break? My then 2 year olds went to nursery year around and my school age ones could go to holiday club. Means you can save some annual leave, then just go away. Holiday club is £20 a day here, so £100 a week. That’s worth finding a way to save up over the year and then going off an enjoying yourself. I usually go on a holiday a year by myself and Dh does the same as we have no family support with childcare. It’s wonderful.

JaninaDuszejko · 20/02/2022 21:57

At least your parents babysit. My eldest is 14 and we've had 2 nights away from the DC since she was born. Once when a friend had them for the night so we could go to a work event and last summer my Mum looked after the DC so we could have a night in a hotel for DH's 50th. Bearing in mind that my DC are now of an age where they just need someone in the house but are capable of doing everything for themselves so she didn't have to do much. She still managed to panic about DSs daily steroid inhaler (which he does himself). I've told DD1 we're celebrating her turning 16 by DH and me having a night out without babysitters.

It's completely normal to not have nights away from your DC, particularly when they are small. Luckily as they get older holidays become more pleasant.

MintyGreenDream · 20/02/2022 22:00

That's what kids clubs are invented for.Me and dh got 2 hours of sunbathing time a day on our last holiday and we managed an afternoon shag at least once too.

ColourMeExhausted · 20/02/2022 22:00

Yadnbu OP. Best 'break' I've had in years was last spring, when I did my back in and had to have 48 hours bed rest, nicely off my head on heavy duty pain killers whilst DH dealt with the DC. Still reminisce about that time.

JaninaDuszejko · 20/02/2022 22:00

Oh, and DSs asthma meant when he was small DH and I each used up a week of annual leave each year on hospital visits so count your blessings you don't need to do that. I have a relative who has 2 children with chronic health conditions, I dread to think how much annual leave they use up going in and out of hospital.

Cleothecat75 · 20/02/2022 22:02

@queenofcauliflower

Yes its absolutely relentless & then when they are teens they look at you disparagingly when you ask them to do something reasonable on holiday (like get up before noon), look at you like dirt on their shoe, hate being in family photos and are rude and ungrateful for all the £££ you spent!!!

I've been a parent for nearly 15 years and due to a big age gap, I think it'll be another 15 before I can have a child free break in the sun - wah!

Yep, exactly this!
Holidays were really hard work when the dc were little (3 under school age). We used to go camping a lot as it was cheaper but it really wasn’t a holiday!
Then, it was just starting to get easier and holidays were Much better and more enjoyable and relaxing. Then covid happened. And now, we have teens. I’ve suggested we go out for a day over half term this week. Apparently I’m being unreasonable because I’ve suggested leaving the house at 9am in the holidays (The city they want to go to is 2 hours by train) and why would they want to do anything with their siblings and no one can agree on what to do when we get there. I’m starting to think it was far easier planning holidays when they were happy with a trip to a Park, a farm and soft play! Those days were also far cheaper too.

Op, I remember being exactly where you are, but it does get easier - I promise.

Jvg33 · 20/02/2022 22:03

@gingerhills

OP I remember being so glad I had a root canal infection because it meant I could sit in a waiting room and read a magazine uninterrupted, twice!

You need a weekend away with friends while DH looks after DC, maybe with family help. I started doing this when DS2 was 3 years old and it made a massive difference.

It makes me feel better reading stories like this 🙂

I looked forward to my c section last year as I knew it would give me a rest from the toddler and cooking family meals 😁

ToooOldForThis · 20/02/2022 22:07

I work FT and get school holidays, which is great as no holiday childcare needed, but also have never had a day off when the kids weren't there too. I feel your pain OP!

I've had 2 nights away (with friends) in 14 years. Not martyrdom, just no childcare and a dh that works awkward shifts.

But I can also now see DC1 growing up and not wanting to be with me any more, so I don't actually mind any more!

ToooOldForThis · 20/02/2022 22:08

Oh and yes I really enjoyed a 2 night hospital stay!!

DontWantTheRivalry · 20/02/2022 22:10

Me and DH go on a city break every 6 months - just two nights away and the children stay with grandparents.

Also, my husband takes the children abroad on his own three times a year (he’s a teacher so he takes them in the half terms) and I get 1-2 weeks of perfect peace!

I don’t particularly enjoy family holidays anymore because they’re just so stressful. Ok it may be hot, but it’s certainly not a break with young children.

As another poster said, it’s the same daily shit just in a different location.

Newbabynewhouse · 20/02/2022 22:10

Omg i feel exaxtly the same... i only have 2 baby but i crave a break away... i keep thinking "this is it now i will never get a proper holiday ever again as it will aleays consist of me organising and worrying for my children" can never be carefree ever again and it really depresses me even though ive always known i really wanted kids and wpuldnt chsnge her for the world but omg how shit lol

DontWantTheRivalry · 20/02/2022 22:11

I looked forward to my c section last year as I knew it would give me a rest from the toddler and cooking family meals

I had a CS with my second baby and I had to stay in for 4 days and it was bliss

MunchyMonsters · 20/02/2022 22:15

It's shit isn't it !

I'm finally at the point where all my AL is MINE and its bloody fabulous. Its belonged to school holidays for 25 years. I've been away 4 times already this year !

lifeuphigh · 20/02/2022 22:16

I don’t know, I’ve always enjoyed holidays both home and away with the DC. I know there was one that was really stressful because I remember thinking ‘oh this is why people on MN don’t like holidays with kids’ but so can’t even remember which one it was now.

I feel the opposite, I look at my childless friends’ holidays and they look really boring. Lots of boozing and lying around mainly. I accept my view may be unusual!

blubberyboo · 20/02/2022 22:19

It will get better thru time. Once your youngest is around 4 it will be much more enjoyable to take them away anywhere whether it’s butlins Centerparcs or Spain.
You need to try and work out some other childcare arrangements so that you aren’t wasting them all on inset days. You need to try and keep a week for summer at least.
Could you talk to family about the difficulties you are having with this to see if anyone is willing to step in a few times a year and take them? Could your employer give you flexible arrangements that allow you to make the time up when DH is off?

Echo what others have said even try and get a babysitter a couple of times a year and head to a premier inn in a nearby city or countryside area

Wantthisfriend · 20/02/2022 22:31

@Llamasinpajamas

Just that really. Had a weekend with family (retired parents and siblings who work) all talking about holiday plans. Parents quite rightly enjoying retirement and travelling a lot (they are quite wealthy). Siblings both talking about their booking holidays abroad and how desperate they are for a break and sun and time off.

I have two small children (2 and 6) and never get a break. Family are great and lovely and keep them occupied when we visit or babysit occasionally which is great but any annual leave DH and I use for school holidays/inset day/sickness etc. we haven’t been abroad in years due to money being tight but even if we did we’d have the kids so it would be the same sh*t different location! I need a week off. I need sun. I need a BREAK! I can’t every take a day leave for myself as we need it for childcare. A sick day (which I only take when genuinely ill) is as close to me time as I get.

Am I allowed to be incredibly jealous? I remember all the lovely holidays and leave days I had pre kids and I feel like I’ll never have that again. Im knackered, life is relentless and I wish I could have a week off!

I do love my kids to bits and don’t really begrudge anyone else having holiday/enjoying leave at all. I just wish it was me

You WILL have those happy times again. I promise.

eurochick · 20/02/2022 22:34

I know what you mean. We have no family help and particularly over the pandemic most of my leave has gone to covering sickness or childcare falling through. Very little of it has been used for R and R (to the extent that a holiday with small children can be considered in any way relaxing). I find myself daydreaming about a sick day.

Jvg33 · 20/02/2022 22:37

@DontWantTheRivalry

I looked forward to my c section last year as I knew it would give me a rest from the toddler and cooking family meals

I had a CS with my second baby and I had to stay in for 4 days and it was bliss

Haha. I definitely don't feel any guilt about it now 😂

Hotel NHS had some okay meals too

linmanuel · 20/02/2022 22:39

@Jessicabrassica

I'm with you. We've had 2 child-free nights in 12.5 years and we're currently averaging 3hrs child free time a year. It is relentless but in 2023 they will both be at scouts and we will have a whole week to ourselves! Counting the days!

That is full on.

oblada · 20/02/2022 22:40

Are you genuinely not in a position to take a holiday? I have 4 kids and i very much like our family holidays. Granted some of them are easier because we go to see my parents or my DHs mother, both abroad in different places. But we've also done UK holidays, and holidays abroad with the kids. It doesn't have to be that pricey. If your parents are well off could they not join you on a holiday to like Italy or Portugal? Rent a big ish apartment. Flights aren't that expensive if you plan early and you can get good deals on booking.com.
I haven't done any camping holiday yet, waiting for kids to be older, but we have done long weekends in caravans for instance.

Jvg33 · 20/02/2022 22:41

I am amused when my friends or relatives exasperate how they are so busy and have no free time. In my head I'm like - 'you have plenty of fu**ing free time, behave yourself'

Cameleongirl · 20/02/2022 22:48

I found 5 was the turning point for us. Once my youngest (DS) turned 5, we could start having better holidays, because we no longer had to factor in naps/toddler tantrums/hauling buggies around, etc. We had a fabulous trip to Paris when DD was 8 and DS 5, stayed in Airbnb’s so we had our own space, and as long as we alternated sight-seeing with playgrounds, they were perfectly happy.🤣

Now they’re teenagers and doing things as a family is tougher. They’re fine individually with a parent, but bicker constantly when together. This phase will also pass!