To of used my clients loo?

[Cleaninglady47]

Name changed because this is probably quite outing and I don’t want it linked to my previous posts!
So I’m a cleaner, yesterday I was at a new-ish clients house, she’s got a big home so she’s booked me for 3 hours each time, just before I cleaned her bathrooms I said “oh do you mind if I quickly use your loo before I clean” and she said “hmmm this once but don’t make a habit of it, it’s not very professional”. I did go, because I was desperate but I feel mortified, upset and embarrassed. It’s never even occurred to me that this would be considered unprofessional?! The lady who does my hair, and the one who does my nails comes to my house and they use my loo and I’ve never given it a second thought?!
I ALWAYS use the toilet before I leave my house in the mornings to try and avoid needing to go at clients homes but sometimes I can do 2 cleans before I have my lunch break (4-5 hours plus travel time) and if I’m drinking water to keep my hydrated it’s inevitable I will need the toilet at some point. I know I’m a grown adult and I should of held it and should be able to control my bladder (which I can) but I was desperate and holding it would of made me uncomfortable. Am I being unreasonable?! I’m not sure, does anyone have any tips to avoid a situation like this in the future?

YABU - of course you shouldn’t use your clients toilets!
YANBU - you can’t help needing the loo and should be able to go at a clients house if you really need

So love to see an ordinary worker standing up to a power tripping control freak. It's as if the client thinks that because she pays you for a service she considers beneath her, that you're somehow beneath her too. Fuck that shit. Good on you OP.

Oh, and your text is much kinder than mine would be, OP. I’d have wished her luck in finding a cleaner without a bladder.

When we loved abroad we had a lady who did 3 mornings a week (washing, cleaning, ironing etc).
She used to have a shower before she started work, and bring her baby with her.
Other expats told me I shouldn't let her shower, and that I paid her over the odds.
This lady didn't have running water at home and people would begrudge her having a shower???
She used to bring me produce from her garden 🙂

Oh and the 2% would do well to remember their 'lowly' cleaners are masters of their own working day and client list.

Love you ditching her OP!

@ParalysisByAnalysis

No I wouldn’t ever let on that I wasn’t ok with it. But there’s no law saying I have to like it.

What is there to like or dislike about it?

A woman you've hired to do a job in your home using facilities for the purpose for which they're intended.

If she's not good enough to use your toilet, then I don't see how she could be trusted to clean the. home.

I would tweak your message slightly - rather than saying "made me feel like a naughty five year old", say "I didn't appreciate being spoken to like a naughty five year old". Then it's about her behaviour, not yours.

Unprofessional to need the toilet?

That’s frankly weird as fuck.

I’ve got a cleaner and I’d be mortified if she felt she couldn’t use my bathroom.

This is one of the meanest things I’ve heard in a long time. Good on you for telling her where to go. She sounds pathetic.

Course yanbu youre cleaning the damn thing and she wont let you use it-ridiculous!

What an awful woman - you are not unreasonable at all...

I worked in a coffee shop that had a nice staff toilet upstairs - we used to let delivery drivers use it - never any problem.
Until one day we had a large Cockney guy, quite polite, used the toilet and left it looking like his innards had exploded everywhere - didn't tell us - one of the other girls from the stockroom walked in and may still be having nightmares about it now...

Years ago a removal man asked to use my loo, I said of course. Apparently most of their customers said no, go to the cafe/pub. How odd

Make sure that you have been paid FIRST.
Like a minority of replies here, I wouldnt bother to explain the loo situation. Just say you wont be continuing as not a good fit.
She doesnt need an explanation. Keep it short. Good luck with the new clients...Im sure they`ll be pleased to have you start

Thank you everyone for your kind replies, I feel much more at ease now knowing that I wasn’t in the wrong. I’ve only cleaned for her 3 weeks and I do have a small waiting list so I’ve decided I won’t be going back. I’ve just drafted this message to her, does everyone think this is ok?

Hi Barbara (not real name) unfortunately I will no longer be able to clean your home, I don’t feel like we are a good fit for each other and possibly you have different expectations to myself to what you want in a cleaner? I must say, your comment about me using your loo made me feel like a naughty 5 year old and has baffled me a bit as I’m only human with a normal working bladder. I wish you all the best and hope you find a new cleaner who is a much better fit for you. Many thanks, cleaninglady47

Excellent response. Good cleaners are worth their weight in gold and I was going to suggest something like this if you were in a position to do so. The snotty cow will have to clean her own loo in future! Well done.

Was it a lame attempt at a joke? You know like when people joke ‘no we haven’t got one ‘ when you ask to use their loo.

If not then she’s very strange indeed

@ParalysisByAnalysis

Cleaners are not employees of the people who hire them!

I hate letting strangers use my toilet because invariably they leave it fucking stinking and it makes me feel sick.

But I’m not a colossal dick so I would never actually not let someone use my toilet.

What kind of strangers are you letting into your house? Everyone who's ever used my toilet (apart from the people who live in this house!) Leave it the way they found it.

OP, I'd stop working for her. She thinks you're beneath her

Our cleaning lady used to take a piece of fruit from the fruit bowl at the end of her and then check that that was ok with me. I was amused - it's fairly cheeky, but on the other hand, she knows full well I can afford to give her a banana, so why not?! She's know my DH since he was a teenager though, so she definitely felt she was a bit of an authority figure to us (we were early thirties at the time!). It never occured to me that a cleaner would even ask to use the loo though.

This lady is definitely off her rocker, OP.

I never cease to be amazed at how possessive some people are over their toilets!

Glad you aren't working for her again.

The person who voted YABU is as much of a twat as she is.

I'm really glad that you are in a position where you were able to tell her to shove off.

What a horrible nasty person she is.

I also hope she can't get another cleaner!

No! You’re not being unreasonable for needing the toilet!

I am also delighted that you are ditching this awful woman, OP. Personally I would leave out the bit about how she made you feel, however. I feel sure she will twist anything you say into material for gossip, which may affect you later. So I would keep it minimal

I think we are all proud of you - well, 99% of us are!

She sounds absolutely awful OP, horrible, snooty cow. So glad you’re not going back. That’ll learn her and I absolutely would tell her why, I’d love to see her trying to explain to other people why you’ve sacked her off. I’d make sure you screenshot the message if it’s a whatsapp so if she tries to lie on social media or anything then you have proof that you quit cleaning fr her because she told you you weren’t allowed to use the loo.

@airbalonz

Was it a lame attempt at a joke? You know like when people joke ‘no we haven’t got one ‘ when you ask to use their loo.

If not then she’s very strange indeed

I had a habit in my teens of saying

'do you have a loo?' (no idea why I phrased it like that)

and my friends and their parents too use to automatically respond

'no, we piss in the garden'

To be honest their always telling me not to bother asking and just go though even now lol.

Glad you are ditching her OP. She is very strange.