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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To of used my clients loo?

287 replies

Cleaninglady47 · 19/02/2022 12:42

Name changed because this is probably quite outing and I don’t want it linked to my previous posts!
So I’m a cleaner, yesterday I was at a new-ish clients house, she’s got a big home so she’s booked me for 3 hours each time, just before I cleaned her bathrooms I said “oh do you mind if I quickly use your loo before I clean” and she said “hmmm this once but don’t make a habit of it, it’s not very professional”. I did go, because I was desperate but I feel mortified, upset and embarrassed. It’s never even occurred to me that this would be considered unprofessional?! The lady who does my hair, and the one who does my nails comes to my house and they use my loo and I’ve never given it a second thought?!
I ALWAYS use the toilet before I leave my house in the mornings to try and avoid needing to go at clients homes but sometimes I can do 2 cleans before I have my lunch break (4-5 hours plus travel time) and if I’m drinking water to keep my hydrated it’s inevitable I will need the toilet at some point. I know I’m a grown adult and I should of held it and should be able to control my bladder (which I can) but I was desperate and holding it would of made me uncomfortable. Am I being unreasonable?! I’m not sure, does anyone have any tips to avoid a situation like this in the future?

YABU - of course you shouldn’t use your clients toilets!
YANBU - you can’t help needing the loo and should be able to go at a clients house if you really need

OP posts:
Scianel · 19/02/2022 13:22

That's horrible. Reminds me of when I was young in South Africa, some white people would have a separate outside toilet for their black domestic staff Sad

Hesma · 19/02/2022 13:23

I don’t see why it matters if you’re then going to clean it anyway

Justanotherobserver · 19/02/2022 13:24

That sounds like a good message. The only change I'd suggest is to leave out 'a bit' when you mention being baffled. Maybe use 'utterly' instead Grin

honeylulu · 19/02/2022 13:24

Great message!

Has she paid you up to date? Make sure she has before you send it!

WomanStanleyWoman · 19/02/2022 13:24

@Cleaninglady47

Thank you everyone for your kind replies, I feel much more at ease now knowing that I wasn’t in the wrong. I’ve only cleaned for her 3 weeks and I do have a small waiting list so I’ve decided I won’t be going back. I’ve just drafted this message to her, does everyone think this is ok?

Hi Barbara (not real name) unfortunately I will no longer be able to clean your home, I don’t feel like we are a good fit for each other and possibly you have different expectations to myself to what you want in a cleaner? I must say, your comment about me using your loo made me feel like a naughty 5 year old and has baffled me a bit as I’m only human with a normal working bladder. I wish you all the best and hope you find a new cleaner who is a much better fit for you. Many thanks, cleaninglady47

Good for you Smile There are clearly others out there who will be happy to snap you up!
bravefox · 19/02/2022 13:24

She sounds like absolute trash.

IME most genuinely 'posh' people tend to be effortlessly polite, warm and friendly. It's 'wanna-be posh' that come out with this kind of crap.

Hb12 · 19/02/2022 13:26

Good for you!

Butchyrestingface · 19/02/2022 13:27

she said “hmmm this once but don’t make a habit of it, it’s not very professional”.

Sounds like a few Mumsnetters I've come across... Grin

sallyslytherin · 19/02/2022 13:27

Great message and well done you for not putting up with this snooty cows behaviour. Horrible for her to make you feel like that over a basic human bodily function! What's unprofessional about needing a wee?! I'm so pleased you aren't going back, she sounds like the sort of woman who is on a big power trip and looks down on you. You don't need that when you are providing a service for her. Let us know if she replies, I bet she's not used to being told a few home truths!

BarbaraofSeville · 19/02/2022 13:28

@ParalysisByAnalysis

Cleaners are not employees of the people who hire them!

I hate letting strangers use my toilet because invariably they leave it fucking stinking and it makes me feel sick.

But I’m not a colossal dick so I would never actually not let someone use my toilet.

I agree with your first comment, in that this woman is the OPs client rather than an employer/employee relationship, but your second point is batshit.

The OP is not a stranger to her bonkers client and even if she was, she's no more likely to 'leave it fucking stinking' than a member of your immediate family. In fact, with the OP being the cleaner, she's pretty much guaranteed to leave it in a better state than when she found it.

Perhaps you are the client @ParalysisByAnalysis. You don't refuse someone using their toilet, but you make sure that they know that you'd rather they didn't. Are you one of those batshit Mumsnetters who think that people should only ever use the toilet in their own home?

FairFuming · 19/02/2022 13:28

I'm so glad you're binning her. If she's weird about you using the loo then god only knows what else she would take issue with.

Puzzledandpissedoff · 19/02/2022 13:28

You're doing the right thing dropping her, OP; one thing would quickly have turned into others and you really don't need this

The message is okay, though I'd personally just keep it to "we're not a good fit". If she hasn't the sense to work it out she's never going to, and frankly I wouldn't waste my time on giving her explanations

cstaff · 19/02/2022 13:29

Great text op. Go for it. It should let her know what an obnoxious arsehole she has been and completely unreasonable.

Thehop · 19/02/2022 13:29

That message is great OP. Well done you. She’s awful. I’m really glad you don’t need her.

Mummyoflittledragon · 19/02/2022 13:29

Good message. It’s really no point working for her when you have alternatives.

JaninaDuszejko · 19/02/2022 13:30

@Onlywomengivebirth

Really odd!

My (male) cleaner used mine yesterday. He didn’t ask, and I wouldn’t have expected him to. But he did do that male thing of pissing directly into the water with (seemingly) the power and stream of a racehorse. Which is why I knew he was using the loo….from 3 rooms away. Why? Are they just proud?

Fuck knows. My electrician's apprentice used our toilet but didn't lock the door and I walked in on him Shock. Never thought I'd have to explain to a workman he needs to lock the bathroom door Hmm.
tirednewmumm · 19/02/2022 13:30

That's crazy i would never begrudge our cleaner using the loo when I worked from home I would offer a coffee too, if I can work fine drinking a coffee she can surely carry on cleaning with a little travel cup, surely those are basic things for any employee

BorsetshireBanality · 19/02/2022 13:30

@honeylulu

Great message!

Has she paid you up to date? Make sure she has before you send it!

This!!
PAFMO · 19/02/2022 13:30

@Cleaninglady47

Thank you everyone for your kind replies, I feel much more at ease now knowing that I wasn’t in the wrong. I’ve only cleaned for her 3 weeks and I do have a small waiting list so I’ve decided I won’t be going back. I’ve just drafted this message to her, does everyone think this is ok?

Hi Barbara (not real name) unfortunately I will no longer be able to clean your home, I don’t feel like we are a good fit for each other and possibly you have different expectations to myself to what you want in a cleaner? I must say, your comment about me using your loo made me feel like a naughty 5 year old and has baffled me a bit as I’m only human with a normal working bladder. I wish you all the best and hope you find a new cleaner who is a much better fit for you. Many thanks, cleaninglady47

Don't say "unfortunately" or "I will no longer be able" Say:" I won't be cleaning for you again as following your rather baffling reaction to my asking to use your loo I realize we have different expectations of the working relationship"

Don't wish the snotty cow well either.

Yeahthat · 19/02/2022 13:30

She's a horrible arsehole. Fuck her off.

MightyFishwife · 19/02/2022 13:31

So sorry she’s treated you this way, OP. She sounds bloody awful.

ComDummings · 19/02/2022 13:31

Yes get rid of her and get clients who actually treat you like a human being

ParalysisByAnalysis · 19/02/2022 13:32

No I wouldn’t ever let on that I wasn’t ok with it. But there’s no law saying I have to like it.

Puzzledandpissedoff · 19/02/2022 13:33

"I won't be cleaning for you again as following your rather baffling reaction to my asking to use your loo I realize we have different expectations of the working relationship"

Perfect

daisychain01 · 19/02/2022 13:33

I'd part company and not go back again.

What you know is you can never have a wee at her house, and given that it's a 3 hour clean, that's going to be a problem at some stage.

Mean cow, you don't need to work for someone who thinks you're beneath them just because you work as a cleaner.