Private school Parties

[7plusMum34]

Those of you who have kids in private schools please tell me the kind of parties you have been to. I’m really nervous as I will have to hold a party very early on as child starting private in September and her birthday is 2 weeks in! I have nothing to compare with as we’ve not done a party for her before and haven’t been to any either I think due to COVID mainly.

I want to have a party btw do I don’t feel in any way pressured but I don’t know what the norm is. Don’t want to go OTT and don’t want it looking embarrassing either. Please help!

My children don't got to private school so no idea if the parties are any different but we have been to a lot, most whole class with extras so 30-40. The last one was in the local hall with an entertainer, chocolate fountain and face painter. My son's favourite was at a gymnastics centre where they tried all the equipment and then had a birthday tea.

We do all year parties and numbers have been about 30 but could have gone to 40. A very good quality entertainer (like me lolly) is important as is a nice hall. You don’t want a cold hall with horrid toilets. My child is turning 8 this year and also changing prep school so we are continuing with a whole year party because I don’t want to exclude children in the first 2 months of being there. I do individual food boxes with juice, Waitrose cake or hand made cake plus party bags at about £4-5 each. Hope that helps.

Tend to be activity parties. When younger it was farm parks or soft play. Now it’s things like trampolining/ bowling/ clip and climb/ snow tubing/ gaming bus.
No difference between the parties thrown by his school friends and other friends at State school.

We went to some AMAZING parties when DS was in pre-prep. This was mainly because we are in an area of the west country where a good number of his classmates' families had cashed out of London and bought National Trust type properties that really lent themselves to parties. One notable Halloween party had burning torches all along the (long) drive and the whole manor house had been turned into a haunted mansion. It was like the set of a movie.

At another the children painted then rode the family's ponies (kept at home) then swam in the pool.

Something I noted at the lavish house parties was that the adults were often though about as much as the children. The children were 'entertained' 100% of the time and the adults were in a separate place with the hosts wandering with champagne and canapes. One had hired musicians to entertain the adults. I learned quickly to organise lifts rather than drive there!

We are very ordinary humans and couldn't reciprocate that type of house party, but I never felt bad about that and just enjoyed them for the spectacle they were. I don't think DS remembers any of them. By Y3 or 4 the parties turned into a few friends for bowling and pizza.

My DCs went to private school. We never felt pressure to host elaborate expensive parties.DS had a few friends over for pizza and PlayStation games. Parties our DCs were invited to ranged from sleepover,paintballing,a trip to the theatre ,pizza and PlayStation again and indoor rock climbing.
Have the party your child wants and you can afford.

OP - very odd how you post for party ideas and the only info you feel is salient is that it’s a private school .

Yet nothing about the ages of the kids; how many are invited; budget; or what your daughter’s interests are!

There is no such thing as a ‘private school party.’ It’s a kids party. I’ve had 4 kids on private schools from age 4 and they’ve been to all sorts.

If you’re inviting 35 kids then I wouldn’t recommend doing it in your house!

Things mine have done over the years -

• Craft parties (hire someone to come and do it)
• Build a bear style parties (there are companies who bring the stuff to your venue and it’s cheaper than the actual build a bear)
• Jewellery making
• Cake decorating (loads of online companies who bring all you need)
• Soft play centres
• Disco with games (hire the entertainer)
• Some cinemas have a mini cinema you can hire out and watch a movie of the kids’ choice
• Graffiti party - someone comes to your venue (I suggest a garden)! - with spray paints and they make their own canvas
• Magic parties
• Mini golf
• Barbecue / picnics in the park (might not be the right time of year obviously)
• Bowling
• Trampolining
• Inflatables etc in the local pool (check when their party hire times are and will need a certain amount of adults to supervise probably)
• Make your own pizza parties
• Go-karting
• Karaoke / record your own ‘single’ parties (your local music shop may do these).
• Animal encounter parties (companies bring things like lizards and god knows what to your venue)

Basically there is a company for just about anything!

If I were you, I would obviously start with what your DD is interested in.

Ultimately, if you are having a large group, a lot of what I suggested above will be very expensive and chaotic. So I would suggest either a soft play type place where there will be play / food / cake / party bag package options. Or hire a disco entertainer in a hall and give them pizza and cake after the entertainment. Or bowling.

Next year she may well want a smaller group and then there are more options like sleepovers etc.

Good luck!

2 boys in prep school. We've had - Trampolining, laser tag, soft play, climbing, adventure farm, football, Lego building, Harry Potter themed, plus old fashioned parties with games in completely normal houses. Honestly I think you need to calm down a little and realise that private schools have a lots of very normal families - many of whom sacrifice a lot to pay for them.

What a strange question! Private primary schools are just the same as state (just smaller and more teachers!). The kids are the same. My kids are at private school - we’ve recently had laser quest, soft play, trampolining, football party, climbing party, chill factore, total ninja … personally at 8 I wouldn’t do a hall / entertainer. It’s a lot of faff as you have to sort food etc and clear up. Just book at an activity venue.

Just the same as state school parties ime.

What ever you would do in mainstream unless you are a socail climber in which case one aqautance did a pony party.

I have to ask, how on earth have you got to this age without holding or going to any parties?!

I went to private school. The parties were the same as when I went to state school. Children are children, no matter which school they go to.

All the normal parties, church hall free for alls, bowling,football or bouncy castle in garden etc.Around here, the state school parents often have more spare cash than the private school parents scraping together the fees.
Don't start comparing it's really unhealthy and it is really wrong imo to let DC think that there is something less worthy in having less money than one's neighbour.

Just the usual. Pass the parcel, etc.

It's only February and you're worrying about September - at least being early you'll get it over with.

Many decades ago my boys started at a central London prep (we were an ordinary family with a small business) within the first week DS2(4) had an invite to a huge do at Claridge's!

The subsequent years included parties as diverse as a few kids at home with a party tea, swimming at Fulham Pools with in-house burgers, hotels, a few kids to the cinema then McDonalds, entertainers at home. In the main not very different from parties at any school.

We went for things along the lines of swimming & burgers, and certainly not every year!

From what I know now as a grandmother things aren't so very different.

The type of school really doesn't matter. Do the kind of party that suits you. In my experience (former teacher in private school), no-one comments on parties once they're over. My own children were at private schools and I did whole class parties in a hired venue when they were around 6, 7, and then much smaller ones, such as a group of friends, at home, when they were older.

We’re in private after state for first few years. Main difference I see is that even in later years there are still a lot of whole year group parties (our whole year group is less than 40) in state that was done and dusted by end of year 1/2 for us.

Parties we’ve been to this year have included trampolining, climbing, swimming and disco party for the eldest (juniors) and disco, trampolining and entertainers in a hall for the youngest in infants. So the same as state parties.

Hiring a hall is perfect, just make sure they’ve got something to do like an entertainer. Any entertainer that your dc likes will be fine. I’ve noticed there is slightly more money spent more regularly such as having an entertainer and a face painter or soft play and an entertainer but this happened in our state school too just not as often. Food and party bags are the same. Cake and sweets in party bags are fine. This is just our experience so will differ but hope it helps.

@cathotel

OP - very odd how you post for party ideas and the only info you feel is salient is that it’s a private school .

Yet nothing about the ages of the kids; how many are invited; budget; or what your daughter’s interests are!

There is no such thing as a ‘private school party.’ It’s a kids party. I’ve had 4 kids on private schools from age 4 and they’ve been to all sorts.

If you’re inviting 35 kids then I wouldn’t recommend doing it in your house!

Things mine have done over the years -

• Craft parties (hire someone to come and do it)
• Build a bear style parties (there are companies who bring the stuff to your venue and it’s cheaper than the actual build a bear)
• Jewellery making
• Cake decorating (loads of online companies who bring all you need)
• Soft play centres
• Disco with games (hire the entertainer)
• Some cinemas have a mini cinema you can hire out and watch a movie of the kids’ choice
• Graffiti party - someone comes to your venue (I suggest a garden)! - with spray paints and they make their own canvas
• Magic parties
• Mini golf
• Barbecue / picnics in the park (might not be the right time of year obviously)
• Bowling
• Trampolining
• Inflatables etc in the local pool (check when their party hire times are and will need a certain amount of adults to supervise probably)
• Make your own pizza parties
• Go-karting
• Karaoke / record your own ‘single’ parties (your local music shop may do these).
• Animal encounter parties (companies bring things like lizards and god knows what to your venue)

Basically there is a company for just about anything!

If I were you, I would obviously start with what your DD is interested in.

Ultimately, if you are having a large group, a lot of what I suggested above will be very expensive and chaotic. So I would suggest either a soft play type place where there will be play / food / cake / party bag package options. Or hire a disco entertainer in a hall and give them pizza and cake after the entertainment. Or bowling.

Next year she may well want a smaller group and then there are more options like sleepovers etc.

Good luck!

You do know that this is not true though? If you search the OP posts, easily available at the top, then she has said ages etc.

Man I get tired of the troll hunting on here.

Unless you own a mansion do not have a kids party of 35 at home. The stress would be horrendous😳

I live in a 1930s semi and 8 kids was more than enough. For 35 kids, 100% get a village hall and an entertainer or get an activity party that’s organised.

Just because they go to private school does not mean they are any better or worse behaved than the average 7/8yo. DD went to a party at that age at a house and the family had the most beautiful white stylish lounge - think Kelly Hoppen. They also had a chocolate fountain at the party and 30 sugar hyped kids. I don’t think that lounge ever recovered!

My DD started at private school aged 13. She was there literally a few weeks when an invitation arrived to a classmate’s party at a fairly local very posh 5 star Hotel. My heart sank as I thought this was the standard ‘expected’ of us all. Turned out the birthday child had a parent who was senior management, they all had a lovely time, and every party since was fairly standard stuff.

DD went to a private school for 1 year when she was nursery age. Did a really nice party. The private school mums clocked quite early on that I didn’t live in a mansion and largely snubbed the party/didn’t bother to reply the invite. One of the private school mums that DID come, commented on this - which also peed me off - as she fully implied that my party wasn’t good enough.
DD then went to state school. Every party she’s had since - ALL the mums replied, all made effort to come - all grateful and nice comments.

I often look back at that year and think the Mums in that private school class were bloody awful. Lots of one upmanship, lots of forced jollity, and lots of bitching. Really glad DD left.

One private school mum party that I went to was ponies, and all the parents were greeted with a glass of champagne on arrival. Very high class response/turn out for that one.

Oh and the child in the class with additional needs wasn’t invited. In fact I think was the only child not invited. I was good friends with that Mum, she couldn’t believe the almost brazen snubbing that went on. That Mum left the year after me…

Just grates me that a party for a child somehow wouldn’t be deemed ‘good enough’ - or needs to be of a certain calibre/different class as it’s a private school.

DS is at private school and so far we've been invited to a party in a public park (the family's flat would be too small to accommodate several children and adults), to a museum and to people's houses. They've all been lovely parties. Nobody put their nose up at the various locations.
DS had his party in our garden. The kids were quite happy to just play on the bouncy castle, the climbing frame/slide, trampoline and in the pool. We did a bbq for everyone, so there was plenty of food. We also had one party at soft play when I had to organise it with about 5 days notice in the winter. We were meant to be on holiday at the time but that got cancelled. "Luckily", most of the families invited were also unable to go away so the kids could attend.

I honestly wouldn't stress too much about it. Just do something the kids enjoy. (We don't do whole-class parties, though. It's just not the done thing.)